I don't know what to do. I try to convince her men aren't as bad as she's making them out to be, but she won't listen to reason. And it's pretty annoying.

Advice?

What does she hate about men exactly?

She thinks they only care about sex, they don't have feelings, they hurt girls' feelings, they don't want to talk, etc.

Quote from: ravij on August 08, 2011, 05:32:57 AM
She thinks they only care about sex, they don't have feelings, they hurt girls' feelings, they don't want to talk, etc.

You should redirect her to radical feminist chat.  She would love it over there.  Just make sure that she knows NOT to mention she is transsexual.

Sounds like she is projecting onto everyone else what she fears or dislikes about herself.

If you are FtM, then you are mentally a guy, and she has you as a friend.  Have you pointed that out to her?  That might help her adopt a more realistic attitude.  If she is straight, she is going to be lonely with that mindset.

Not all men are Neanderthals, just enough to support her argument unfortunately.

Karen.

Quote from: ravij on August 08, 2011, 05:32:57 AM
She thinks they only care about sex, they don't have feelings, they hurt girls' feelings, they don't want to talk, etc.

1.- Spanish girls, would not be her best friends XD
2.- You are a MAN, why is she your friend? she hates guys  (I ♥ sarcasm)
3.- She thinks you are a girl and it is insulting, (but she thinks she is a girl)
4.- She is more crazy than me
5.-

Quote from: VeryGnawty on August 08, 2011, 05:43:43 AM
You should redirect her to radical feminist chat.  She would love it over there.  Just make sure that she knows NOT to mention she is transsexual.

(I ♥ sarcasm) 

"its so typical women to be sexist    "

I don't have an advise but I understand it to be annoying,

She thinks they only care about sex

Perhaps that's the only thing about her that's worth caring about.  At least she's got that much going for her because usually when I hear that remark I'm thinking "yeah, but not with you."

Ah, let her think it, she's probably just insecure. She'll work out she's being silly once she gets a bit more confident and assured in her womanhood.

Quote from: tekla on August 08, 2011, 09:18:49 AM
She thinks they only care about sex

Perhaps that's the only thing about her that's worth caring about.  At least she's got that much going for her because usually when I hear that remark I'm thinking "yeah, but not with you."

She's never been in a relationship, though. So I don't get where this is coming from.

Quote from: ravij on August 08, 2011, 10:02:50 AM
She's never been in a relationship, though. So I don't get where this is coming from.

life history taken and viewed as a composite would be my most likely guess...let's face it, having spent time around guys in the early part of my life due to birth error is not why I am lesbian, but it would also not have done a lot to make me want to speak highly of a lot of guys.  I can get along with some of them, but only so long as I keep them at an arms length...

Quote from: ravij on August 08, 2011, 03:51:19 AM
I don't know what to do. I try to convince her men aren't as bad as she's making them out to be, but she won't listen to reason. And it's pretty annoying.

Advice?

There's one website that has so many MTF bashing men that I left because it made me sick to my stomach. They have no issues talking about girls but if anyone brings up their boyfriend or male friend they start to fulfill any type of horribly negative lesbian stereotype. It is like because they identify as a lesbian they feel that they should badmouth men in most vile ways.

My best advice to you is to tell her in a sternful manner that "you need to stop bashing men in front of me. I find it offensive and I will not tolerate it."  If her prejudices are more important than her friendship with you then you will find out. If she values her friendship with you, she will refrain from the male oriented gender bashing in front of you.

Don't worry about being stern. I had to do it with many MTF friends and they either respect where I am coming from or they look for friends elsewhere. I do not tolerate hate in any form.....including men bashing. It's immature.

If you look around the internet, or anywhere really, you'll actually notice that this is put out as a "norm".
It's made to look like it's perfectly fine to trash talk, hate on, and generally abuse men because they're "all pigs/stupid/whores/etc."

If you've got a tumblr, go follow some people, and count down how long it takes to get one of those "All boys are meanies who break princesses' hearts" things.

Honestly, I'd either rip her a new one, tell her how incorrect she is and how much it pissed me off, or I'd start distancing myself from her. You don't need to be around someone who's (somewhat indirectly) attacking you as a person.

Wow ....  I was just coming to this board to post about this very thing and I see it's being discussed. 

My story, I went out last weekend to Indy for a conference with some friend.  Mostly male but a woman named ... offered to put us up.  Since hotel prices are insane we took her up on it.  When I met her my first impression that she was MTF stealth.  Which is not a bad thing in anyway at all.  However it was fairly obvious since I know what to look for.  Her hands being clearly bigger than average, her overall form, structure and height being quite large, plus her hair was MTF hair which you probably know what I mean.  She didn't do anything with her hair besides wash it and I really don't think she wore make-up.  I'm sorry if I offended anyone.  The fact that she was extremely rude to me from the moment I met her helped make my overall impression of her sour.

She was so insulting of men; all men even those the ones staying with her.  She would go on and on how they are all about sex and how disgusting that is.  Repeatedly she called me 'a punk ass kid' despite my polite request she not do that.  If I made any sort of mistake, no matter how small such as forgetting a piece of information I should know, she would play the looney tunes song.  Musically stating that I was an idiot and not to be taken seriously.  Everyone else would get quiet when she did this but she continued to think it was hysterical.

I was not the only one she did this to.  All of the guys got this treatment in different ways.  Which everyone tried to handle diplomatically but it was difficult.  This was not just ribbing this was all out insulting.  However we were sitting ducks because we had an agreement to stay with her.

Then she would talk up women like they were the perfect creatures straight from above.  She would go on and on about how women are strong and smart and so much better than men.  Behind every good man there is a much better woman sort of thing.  I would point out that she is 43, never married, single and seemingly staying that way.  None of those are bad things.  I also know she was a virgin because she said the only way 'she would give it away' was after a diamond ring.  Which is so because better than men because men will do it with a tree on the side of the road.

By the end of the trip I was so over all of it.  She tried to say goodbye to me but I just curtly said I would send her a check for the stay.  Which was rude and abrupt, yes, but after she was so blatantly disrespectful of me I wasn't going to act like we were friends.  I could of given her, her own theme song and it would have just as vicious.  Pink Elephants was what came to mind for so many reasons.  However I'm a decent person and a gentleman and don't play like that.  Besides I didn't want to make a miserable situation worse.  I was suppose to be on vacation.   

It was just insane though.  The guys themselves were wonderful and I had a great time with them.  Yes there was some teasing but only male on male ribbing which I find enjoyable.  ("Me: So I was on crash diet ..."  Him: "Why?  Were you trying to fit into your wedding dress?"  Me: "It was a bikini actually.  Hold on I'll send you some pictures."  Him: "Ah!! ... No thank you!!!") 

She made the trip much less enjoyable than it should have been.  I'm sorry that was her attitude.  It was a shock to tell you the truth.   

I completely agree with the idea that she is simply projecting her insecurities and what she doesn't like about herself on the rest of the world. And they say that there's no such thing as "female privilege".... just count how many women are "allowed" to openly bash men on account of being male and get away with it. One man makes a "woman" joke and the entire world jumps down his throat.

@people above Next time she does it I'm definitely going to confront her about it.

@Squirrel That's horrible. I'm sorry that happened to you. 

People usually hurt for a reason and it's sad but let's face it SOME men and SOME women whether cis or trans just have real horrible experiences with the opposite sex. The only thing 'typical' is when people get hurt they hold grudges and can become bitter and thats f'n sad but its also life. So ya,  I can say 'Hey! I'm a nice guy ' and get all angry with her but the truth is, there are some not so nice guys out there too so maybe she has a reason to be defensive and bitter.
Same deal with men too bitter nelly's towards women.

Quote from: N.Chaos on August 08, 2011, 11:27:20 AM
If you look around the internet, or anywhere really, you'll actually notice that this is put out as a "norm".
It's made to look like it's perfectly fine to trash talk, hate on, and generally abuse men because they're "all pigs/stupid/whores/etc."

If you've got a tumblr, go follow some people, and count down how long it takes to get one of those "All boys are meanies who break princesses' hearts" things.

Honestly, I'd either rip her a new one, tell her how incorrect she is and how much it pissed me off, or I'd start distancing myself from her. You don't need to be around someone who's (somewhat indirectly) attacking you as a person.

Thing is the BS goes both ways in such large amounts there are no words to describe it.  Heck, I've seen you guys get a thread going before about not understanding women and most of what was in it?  Was just stereotypical BS...  This is a bloody norm for the most part.  Not saying it is right or wrong...

That just is the way it is and she may have her own issues as well with men.  I mean if I judged men by the ones met in my early days, the locker room chat, bathroom chat, and general conversation?  I'd think just like her in every way.  There is a peaceful way to approach this as noted and that action should be taken first before going to the beep off route.  You might even help her see that not all men are the BS she has encountered in her life.

removed due to the unneeded rudeness

I believe you are pathetic.

Why are you so childish in all of your posts?