After my wife left I started going to a gay bar every saturday. I sat at the bar drinking and looking everyone see if thay where looking at me. There were a lot of drag queens. People kept asking me if I was a praformer. Of course I'm not, but looks like fun. I have found out that I'm not attracked to gay men. I seem to be attracked to lesbians manly type. I also seem to be attracking the drag queens. A lot of the gay men leave me alone after they found out I had been with a woman. I found a friend that I sit with an older gyrl that had been going there for some time. She knowjust about everyone there. Everyone seems to have a click. Not very friendly for the most part. I when this week end also just happen to be my friends birthday. They were throwing a party for her. Of course when she saw me there she want me to sit with her. Well, I have thought about doing drag shows but I don't want to be thought of as a drag queen. So what is everyone thinkn? Let me know.

Yes, love the short hair ones. Lol. It took about three weeks of saturdays to make one friend. I used to have anxiety. I just sat in the bar until closing time first two weeks drinkn my beer.

Can only speak for myself.
I found butch gay girls like cis-females. And they can get quite frisky about that: Go away I don't like you, you are confused (meaning you confuse me).

But as always YMMV.

Gay males as a rule IME are not attracted to "us" once they find we are not functional anymore (no more hardwood-erections) and in any case - that we females. They just not my cup of tea either. In fact they bore me with their ever present search for bigger and better penis.
Just my take, about this one-track-minded penis-oriented persuits, it seems somehow too pubescent, eh. YMMV

That's my 2 cents,
Axelle

Those places are very good places to get into trouble. It's your life.

I've found it quite easy to make friends in straight places. I go to a local hotel restaurant most Saturdays and I'm recognised and welcomed by the staff, and the 'regulars' are talking to me, both male and female. I'm just taking it slowly and being friendly, always smile and be polite.

Cindy

While I was trying to work out my gender and sexuality issues, I was in  relationship with a gay guy.
Once I started transition, it rapidly became obvious that we had no future together. 
As he was neither a straight man or a lesbian we realised we were wasting our time, and should look elsewhere.

The gay club is probably ok as a first foray into the outside world, but as Cindy says, it's limited. 
Apart from straight  venues, are there any lesbian friendly coffee shops etc where you are?  Somewhere you can find out what local events are happening, and alcohol is not involved to cloud the issue.   
I figure if I can find one, and am a regular, they will get used to me in time.

Karen.

Quote from: Francis Ann Burgett on August 09, 2011, 03:28:58 AM
Those places are very good places to get into trouble. It's your life.

How would you get in trouble in a gay bar? I am a Religious Divinity student and I frequent gay and lesbian bars all the time with my friends. Trust me, it's not as bad or evil as you think

Unless you identified as lesbian, the primary thing an M2F transsexual is going to find in a typical gay bar is a place where the staff and patrons won't look generally to harass you for being trans...it is not going to be the place for the het-identified M2F or F2M to find a partner.

It stands to reason that you would not be interested (and vice versa) in gay males.  I would think the reasons are pretty self-explanatory 

The cliquish elements have always existed primarily because a lot of neighborhood gay bars have been there for years and everyone knows everyone...just as going to a new job or new town, it takes time to get to know people and be accepted.  I run into that even just going to visit friends out of town...because I am the interloper, many will keep me at arms length for the first couple of visits even though I am staying with a mutual friend.  Eventually the walls break down...the key is also not to exude your own airs that perhaps serve to put them off.  Hell, its a bar- buy a round or two...tends to be the quickest way to break down those walls.  And in the interest of disclosure: I have to admit that I am one of the worst about not exactly being welcoming to newcomers myself...it is a trust issue in some instances and in other cases it can be related to just not getting the right 'vibe' from someone. 

As to doing performances...it isn't for everyone, but if you wanted to give it a go, then do so.  I've known of some M2F's that did a few drag shows just for the hell of it and I know some who have also performed post-operatively as a drag king. 

 

I honestly have never been to a gay club. Didn't see much point in it for me. I do have some guy friends who are gay and they are NOT interested in people like me, they are into men. I'm a woman (duh) so why would they be? I am very open about I am trans so it takes a pretty open minded het (mostly) guy to be interested in me, my current BF is I've personally found that some gays are not very accepting of trans people, more they "tolerate" us but YMMV. Many seem to believe we really are just gay, but are trying to hide it. Not sure how this applies to the original post but just my take on the subject YMMV

@justmeinoz
There is just two bars. No coffee shop.

Alot of the clothes I have are btweenmale and female. The tag says that they for women. A lot of stuff can be found for women that look like mens clothes. I work with all men they don't even know that it is womens clothes.

Quote from: jainie marlena on August 09, 2011, 01:31:07 AM
After my wife left I started going to a gay bar every saturday. I sat at the bar drinking and looking everyone see if thay where looking at me. There were a lot of drag queens. People kept asking me if I was a praformer. Of course I'm not, but looks like fun. I have found out that I'm not attracked to gay men. I seem to be attracked to lesbians manly type. I also seem to be attracking the drag queens. A lot of the gay men leave me alone after they found out I had been with a woman. I found a friend that I sit with an older gyrl that had been going there for some time. She knowjust about everyone there. Everyone seems to have a click. Not very friendly for the most part. I when this week end also just happen to be my friends birthday. They were throwing a party for her. Of course when she saw me there she want me to sit with her. Well, I have thought about doing drag shows but I don't want to be thought of as a drag queen. So what is everyone thinkn? Let me know.

One time I went to a gay bar a lesbian started hitting on me! not sure what you mean by dressed? I guess you are part time or something?

Quote from: Naturally Blonde on August 10, 2011, 05:20:32 AM
When I went to a gay bar a lesbian started hitting on me!

these things happen when women are sitting in a gay bar...not sure why it would be a surprise to anyone.

If I was closer I'd be asking just where this bar is!

Quote from: Ann Onymous on August 10, 2011, 05:26:05 AM
these things happen when women are sitting in a gay bar...not sure why it would be a surprise to anyone.

It's a surprise because lesbians are very aware of transsexuals and have a high level of ability of being able to read them. If they assume you are a natural female that's good!

In the beginning I dated a few gay guys (I'm attracted to men), thinking they would be safe, NOT, I split the whole gay bar scene. I like real men with real hard dicks that knows how to satisfy a woman, my only issue now is explaining my birth defect, for the most part I have been lucky  

Quote from: Naturally Blonde on August 10, 2011, 05:29:57 AM
It's a surprise because lesbians are very aware of transsexuals and have a high level of ability of being able to read them. If they assume you are a natural female that's good!

That they are aware of the existence of transsexuals is not news.  Not sure that lesbians 'read' someone at any greater rate than any other segment of the population though. 

But those two components are neither here nor there...generally speaking, an M2F who goes to a gay bar (at least in the States) and who gets 'hit' on is far more apt to have it occur from a lesbian than a gay male.  From personal experience, I have no idea if it is that I am presumed to be a 'natural female' or not, although I guess I could probably exude the right levels of lesbian confidence given that was the bar environment I have floated around for close to 30 years (yeah, I was bad...I was in the bars before I was of legal age).  I do know that I don't 'out' myself as it relates to my past medical history...

i JUST LOVE WATCHING YOUR VIDEOS AND SEEING HOW OPEN YOU ARE TO HEARING FROM ABOVE. i THINK THAT YOU SHOULD TRY GOING TO A GAY CHURCH AND MEETING THE OTHER SIDE  opps cap locks..

You should go to a gay church and share what God has shared to your heart.

Quote from: M2MtF2FtM on August 10, 2011, 11:10:37 AM
i JUST LOVE WATCHING YOUR VIDEOS AND SEEING HOW OPEN YOU ARE TO HEARING FROM ABOVE. i THINK THAT YOU SHOULD TRY GOING TO A GAY CHURCH AND MEETING THE OTHER SIDE  opps cap locks..

You should go to a gay church and share what God has shared to your heart.

who was that comment for?

Quote from: Annah on August 10, 2011, 05:08:20 PM
who was that comment for?

That was for jainie marlena
who has these wonderful videos. They speak to me like a prophet.


http://www.youtube.com/user/jainiemarlena
my old channel
http://www.youtube.com/user/laineyjain
                   religious help
http://www.youtube.com/user/transspiritual

Quote from: Ann Onymous on August 09, 2011, 09:46:04 AM
Unless you identified as lesbian, the primary thing an M2F transsexual is going to find in a typical gay bar is a place where the staff and patrons won't look generally to harass you for being trans...it is not going to be the place for the het-identified M2F or F2M to find a partner.

It stands to reason that you would not be interested (and vice versa) in gay males.  I would think the reasons are pretty self-explanatory 

My friend keeps making and breaking plans to take me to a gay bar with her, but I'm of the mindset stated in the quote above: what would be the point?  I've never been harassed in public so I don't need to go somewhere where I'll "fit in" a bit better.  And as for hooking up with someone?  I'm a hetero-identified MTF and so I'm sure nobody in there would be my type.