Kate, please remember that most moderation activity is meant to protect damaged and hurting people, many of whom are very young. (If you're mostly talking about member reactions and comments, then that's a different story.)
I'm not a big fan of the one-size-fits-all approach myself, so I understand that this site doesn't meet everybody's needs. But it helps a lot of people and provides a pretty safe place for them to come and be themselves. For some folks, it's the only safe space they have. If you're looking for an edgier site, then I guess this isn't it. Not most of the time.
Good luck to you if you do leave.