I had been planning order hormones pharmacy online for sometime. I was checking to if the price went up on them and came across a web page said the online pharmacy had stopped saling the united states. I was standing in the kitchen when I read this. Luckly there was a chair behind me to fall into. I felt like my life was over and the feeling of being trap again set in. I made my way into my bedroom and sat down tucking my face in my hands and began to cry. A few minutes later my son walked in the room and asked what was wrong? I told him to go away. He started to walk way from me and told to come back. He walked over to the bed and sat down beside me. Itold him what read and all the things that were going through my mind.
He said, I know that you are going to get through this be who you want to be maybe you just was not meant to do it that way. I said I had been planning to get the hormones for over a year now. He said, that is what I did wrong I set myself up to be hurt. He said don't l look so far ahead focus the now. I looked upat him and thought all of this coming from my 15 year old son. Then he said let it come in its time. I have no doubt that you are going to become who you want to be. I sat there for a minute taking in all his wisdom. I said to him, I felt like someone I knew had died and it was me. He looked at me and said that would make great song lyrics.

He is a young man with feeling and care.

You should be very proud of him and for being a fine parent to raise such a decent young man.

Hugs

Cindy

You have raised a truly amazing young man by the sound of that Jainie.  He's right plans are best served like a good steak, rare.  Just enough into the future to allow for flexibility, if circumstances change. And any changes don't  shock you into immobility.
You'll get there sis.
Karen

Hi Jainie;
i think I have some good news for you. A friend of mine just got some things from Inhouse. She lives in NY. I hope this cheers you up a little. BTW your son sounds awesome and mature for his age.
Hugs
Beth

Wow, you should be very proud raising such a great son. Accepting, understanding, wise beyond his years.

Out of the mouths of babys.   Sounds like a very intelligent young man.  I hope you gave him a big hug.

Hey Jainie,
I just emailed you a link to where I used to buy my HRT as do a number of other trans friends. I also have clinically developed dosing guidelines and clinical therapy guidelines in .PDF that I can email to you in you want. These are guides that you can use to help yourself but are designed to educate doctors and mental health professionals on the treatment of transsexuals. I don't want to post this info here as I don't want to violate the rules of this forum but if you or anyone else would like this info please email me.

I started out on a low dose of HRT purchased overseas. After a few months I realized that this was not just "an experiment" but a necessary part of my life and mental health. I then decided that if I was going to be on HRT for the rest of my life I needed to "man up" (I hate that phrase btw...lol) and go see a doc who had some experience in administering cross-gender hormones. I could not find anyone locally but found a doctor in Charlotte NC that is "trans friendly" who wrote a prescription and got me the blood tests. I am really glad that I did this because I found out some interesting things:

1) It is MUCH cheaper to get the HRT domestically. The drugs are generics and are not expensive even with insurance. It costs me $18/month for E, Spiro, and Fin.
2) I apparently have a "super liver" and as a result much of the oral E I take gets processed out of my system. Without this test I would be under dosing my HRT even at the max recommended dose. I am currently taking 6x the E dosage as my good friend who has a higher blood E level. I would never have gone this high without blood tests and a doctor to ensure everything was ok and the e wasn't converting.
3) I discovered that my alcohol abuse was starting to cause early signs of liver distress and this caused me to stop drinking and address this issue with my therapist. Since alcohol is a depressant and HRT can cause mood swings and transition is stressful this is really important. My Doc told me that the risks from the alcohol FAR out-way the small risks from HRT in contrast.
4) Going to a doc and telling him I was trans was actually incredible liberating and was the first step to me accepting who I am. Six months later I openly discuss the issue with anyone who I feel needs to know and try to educate them on the topic in a kind and loving way. I have had NO negative reactions from anyone. FYI
5) The first visit you can get a script to get started and baseline blood tests done. (Blood tests cost me $25 after insurance $100 without) I wish I would have done this as you can determine you starting level of testosterone and if you have any liver problems (like I had) and make adjustments (Like patches or injections to avoid the liver). I also found that I had bottomed out my testosterone levels below that of a child. This can cause energy loss, moodiness, and loss of libido (which happened to me). I am now working with him to adjust my spiro levels to put my T in the range of a cis female.

Doctors and therapists are professionals and want to help. We tend to see recommendations to look for "trans friendly" professionals but in reality most of them are trans friendly, they just might not have the background to feel comfortable prescribing hormones to a different gender and know what levels to look for or how to test. That is what the guides I mentioned earlier are ideal for. You don't need an endo to administer your HRT. If you don't have a doctor in your area who can do this for you try emailing the guide to your local general physician, explain the issues, the plan to order online, and ask their help.

You have raised him well 

There are competitive businesses that are still shipping to US.

Your son sounds like a great person.

He does, very smart person too

I told him the great things that you all are saying about him he smiled really big at me. Thank foryour help.