Hi!
My name is Natascha, I am 32, M2F and live in Denmark
My story so far....
When I was younger I often played with dolls, that means almost every day, I did have playmobil, Lego and other toys, but dolls were my favorite toys, I loved to dress them, do their hair, sew dresses for them and play I was a girl.
I was left alone most of the time, my parents had a Kiosk (newsstand) and they worked from morning till night, so when I came home from school, I opened my mothers wardrobe and put on her clothes and make-up and her jewelry, and I "pretended" to be a girl, there was nothing sexual about it, I was just being me...
When I got a bit older I got my ears pierced, I chose some very nice earrings with stones in them, red I believe they were, my mom and dad thought I was strange for picking them, but I loved them...
I also started, when I earned my own money, buying some jewelry, I thought nothing wrong with wearing a necklace once in a while, if other women could, why couldn't I?
In school I was the outsider, I took part in gym class, but I never showered with the other boys, why? I was embarrassed about my body, and because of that I had started to eat, ALOT!
Not only was I fat, but also hairy, now that didn't feel right in my mind, you see in my mind I was a girl, but everybody told me that I was a boy, I something between my legs, that I thought shouldn't be there..
So I never took showers with the other boys, never!! I was the first in my class with hair all over my body, I had the smallest, you know what, I hated myself, so that came out in class....
I didn't have a lot of friends at that point, I was afraid to show I liked the boys better than the girls, some most of my so called friends were girls, a few boys came home with me after school to play with my computer, being an only child, I was pampered!! A lot!! So I had the latest gadgets and kids took advantage of that..
Well I grew up, had all these psychologist telling me how wrong I was in having these illusions on being a girl, I was a boy and I had to accept it, but I still, played with dolls, loved make-up and playing with other girls..
My parents didn't really have time for me, and I was a problem child, so I was sent to a school for problem children, first time for 6 months, next time, for about 3 years in total, I learned a lot living there, had 2 affairs with other boys in the school, and I was labeled gay, well of course I was gay! It was the only thing I hadn't thought off, I liked boys, I liked women's clothing, I loved wearing make-up, off course I was gay!! Damn them for all time!!
When I was finished with school I worked in my parents shop, I also tried to forget my sexuality, with both men and women, but then I saw an advert for a Make-up Artist Academy, so I went and in 8 months I became a Make-Up artist, I could wear make-up everyday, without anybody telling I was wrong, it was at this point I started wearing women's clothing, I was still fat and there wasn't a shop that sold men's clothing in my size, but there were a store for women, so I bought a lot of clothes there...
After the Make-Up Artist Academy I worked in my parents shop and started to explore my sexuality, I had a few encounters with men, but it just didn't feel right, something was "wrong", so I contacted my doctor and he gave me a referral till the only place in Denmark were I could get help, Sexological Clinic Copenhagen, I also meet a woman called Marjorie S, a Two Spirit person, she told me what hormones to take and in what doses, unfortunately she didn't know much about it and I got a depression and felt powerless, I couldn't do anything at all, but the hormones did work, I started develop breasts, lighter voice, but because I had Estrogen and Anti-Androcur at the same time, my hair didn't diminish, so I had to shave my hands and beard everyday, I couldn't live as a woman, cause I didn't get the help I needed.
I stopped taking hormones after a few years, by then it had done some "damage" to my body, damage that that could not be fixed...
I got a BF, we've been together now for 5½ years, he is still getting used to the idea of me being myself, but without my male "things", but I think we have to go our separate ways soon, he has problems talking about it and with me about it, he meet Sophie and her friend Susanne, but he was never in the conversation with us, only when it came to Star Trek.
So in my mind we are splitting up as soon as I live as me full time!
So where am I now?, well, I lost everything and started once again, so I am going on hormone treatment soon, 26th of February, going shopping for clothes on the 05th of March, going to Sexological Clinic on the 08th of March and my 2end laser treatment on the 13th of March, so I hope my facial hair will be gone soon so I can present myself as me...
That's my story so far.....
