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I can't understand it

Started by Bird, August 12, 2011, 09:38:32 PM

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Bird

At work, I pass to my patients. I pass even when people refer to me as a male, while wearing a male overcoat.

In day to day stuff, I notice I don't pass so well. Some people do stare and sometimes it can get bothersome. The two situations are so different that it leaves me thinking if I'm geting delusional. Why the heck I would pass at work with everything set agains't me and not do it in everyday life when I get things stacked for me?  ???

In addition, there are some situations that are borderline absurd impossible to pass that I end up passing. Not long ago I meet someone I had not seen since I began HRT and she thought I was my sister, and I don't even have a sister. But then, sometimes I'm passing by a group of guys and two of them give me a blank stare.

It is like I go 100% passing to not passing in the blink of an eye, it is so erratic !
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Jillieann Rose

Maiara,
Maybe you are just reading some people wrong. Or reading things in that are not there.
In your photo you pass very well.
What was your reaction when the two guys stare at you?
Did you give them a womanly glare and look away as if you were dis-intrested in them?
That would have been my responce.
Maiara be the women you are no-mater how people act and they will see you as one.
Hugs,
Jillieann
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Del

Mariara,
Jillieann is right kiddo. Just be yourself.
I understand that passing can be important to a transgender but I will never know how much since I am not a transgender.
To me passing seems over rated in a sense. It seems like peer pressure influences almost everyone at one time or another and makes the lives of some a living hell.
I understand that girls tend to get jealous of other girls and such but the bottom line is this. Why care what they think?
I experience passing problems of a different sort so to speak.
I am a nondenominational evangelist.
Since there are certain areas of their doctrine I disagree with I do not pass as a Southern Baptist. Since I do not pass invitations to preach are non existant.
I guess I could allow that to destroy me but I would rather feel that if they think I do not pass as an evangelist in their church so be it. Their loss because of their limitations.
I only used them as one example as when the truth be told I do not pass with about 99% of the church world.
You may feel at times you pass and at others you don't as far as gender presentation goes. I feel that at times I may pass and most of the time I do not pass with faith and doctrinal presentation.
I would rather just be me and if the Del the Lord called does not pass for them that's tuff.
I'm through downing myself because of the views of others.
I hope this helped.
I didn't want to make a religious thread out of this but it fit in a sense.
Hope I didn't offend anyone.
Just be yourself as only you know how you feel.
Take care kiddo.
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Elijah3291

are you a doctor or a nurse? (you said patients) i would assume you pass more at work because your patients see your hair, mannerisms, etc and just see you as a woman, because they assume that a male doctor wouldn't be able to have a hairstyle etc like that while at work

and in public, where people are allowed to dress however they want, you just may get clocked more

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justmeinoz

Maybe the guys thought you had caught them having a perv, and were pretending they were not looking at you? 

Karen.
"Don't ask me, it was on fire when I lay down on it"
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Bird

@jillean

That was my reaction, I looked down. I will follow your advice, as it was the advice of my therapist as well

@elijah

I'm a medicine student. I suppose, no one would figure a transwoman is their attending doctor and if they do, they respect me because of my position.

@all

You know it is not that bad. I guess I will just have to live with some people reading me for now. I dont really have to pass 100% of the time right now, so I have time. I'm just recently full time, and in addition, I'm the single current medicine student who is TG. Here where I live doctors and med students are fairly visible and looked at by the populace, so being a TG makes me very visible. It is a medium sized town, the WHOLE university knows, and so, I don't have much of a chance of always passing with the whole place knowing!

I will do fine though. I'm maturing, I'm growing. Also it was my decision to come out before I was sure I passed well, so I have to grown a elephant skin as axelle said, and live with it.

I notice I'm passing better than I used to two weeks ago, and it is getting better. So, it is important anyway because this will allow me to pass in the future and also, is a opportunty to grown up as a person.
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BillieTex

i get very self concious when just out, if i go for walks i take off my glasses so not to see the eyes of people i pass   :(
Be true to yourself, even if no one else will...
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Bird

@Ggirl

Yep!

Today at lunch nobody in the restaurant was staring, but I got a serious a headache and I had some people looking at me afterwards but because I was showng I wanst feeling well. So they were worried basically.

I'm letting things flow and adapting.
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Jillieann Rose

QuoteI'm letting things flow and adapting.
That is great Maiara. Just be the real you and enjoy it.
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SandraJane

You need to get a TransNurse to go on rounds with you (she can even wear a cap!), she'll make sure they call you Ma'am! :laugh:
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