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de-sensitized to the female body (for straight guys mostly)

Started by RyGuy, August 17, 2011, 01:29:20 AM

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RyGuy

so my brother (who is also trans) and i were talking tonight and we were saying how we are both straight, but feel like we aren't attracted to female bodies even if they are completely stereotypically smoking hot. we both reached the agreement that we were so used to seeing "female" bodies in the mirror and wanting to kill ourselves over it that we've become desensitized to them on potential partners. it's true. when i see a girl often the first thing i think is "man it would be such a bitch to try and pass with those hips" or "ugh i wish i had those so it would have been easier to bind/i could have gotten peri" and just generally being annoyed with curvy, feminine female bodies. it's like i'm going to have to train myself to detach from those past feelings in order to be physically attracted to women. does anyone else feel this way?
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Nygeel

Not me, sorry. I have a harder time with the idea of being with men (be they cis or trans) because I feel like I would be seen as more physically female while women (be they cis or trans) make me feel like I'm seen as more male.
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RyGuy

Quote from: Nygeel on August 17, 2011, 01:38:33 AM
Not me, sorry. I have a harder time with the idea of being with men (be they cis or trans) because I feel like I would be seen as more physically female while women (be they cis or trans) make me feel like I'm seen as more male.

yeah i guess i feel similarly about the comparison. thinking about sex is hard for me because due to personal issues i struggle to see myself in the male role during. physical intimacy just makes me feel like a lesbian even though i'm a straight male.
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Zac

Sorry, I don't. ): While I may loathe my own body for not matching up, I adore a physically female body on.. not me. Nothing stops my libido, I'm afraid. xD;
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RyGuy

Quote from: Zac on August 17, 2011, 01:57:29 AM
Sorry, I don't. ): While I may loathe my own body for not matching up, I adore a physically female body on.. not me. Nothing stops my libido, I'm afraid. xD;

don't apologize haha i feel like a freak you're normal
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Sharky

Sometimes I have trouble enjoying a woman's body because for most of my life I've tried to suppress those feelings, but I manage to overcome. Seeing my body naked does nothing for me, I've tried. Seeing my fat hairy ass in the mirror has not desensitized me a bit. I also don't project my dysphoria onto women. If I had a banging body I don't think it would desensitize me. I would still have the want to see an infinite amount of attractive women's bodies.
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Lee

I love female bodies on women.  However, on me it feels less female and more like I just have some extra body fat in weird places.
Oh I'm a lucky man to count on both hands the ones I love

A blah blog
http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,365.0.html
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vik2ray

i used to have feelings where women held no attraction to me at all on a physical level. then i dated a guy and saw that women had much more appealing qualitys. i learnt to see women as much more than just partners. i saw them as enigmas i couldnt understand despite my body id been forced to live as something i am not and never quite accepted it. but i can see the difficulty in having an acceptance in your body. im 20 and still cant quite see myself without a chest. but i know what you mean by wanting things to be different to make things easier later on. small chest ect. i started wirking out for that reason i may not change what i have but i can improve it. but i suppose seeing women will develop in time. it takes times to know self in order to learn to see others in a different light
things dont change, they merely rearange into that which they already are.
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RyGuy

Quote from: Lee on August 17, 2011, 02:58:52 AM
I love female bodies on women.  However, on me it feels less female and more like I just have some extra body fat in weird places.

yeah i see what you mean. i guess i'm just so used to seeing a certain image (i've been told that i was an "attractive female" to put it humbly- GAG) and being disgusted by it that the turn-off carries over to other people.. shame.

don't get me wrong though it's not as if i'm attracted to no one. a nice picture of megan fox never fails to... awaken my senses.
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anibioman

what i feel is a bit similar i over think things to the point of being less attracted but i still find a good amount of girls bodies really hot.

i find that since i am highly observant more so then your average teen i notice random things that turn me off when looking at someone.

also the type of thing you are describing occasionally happens to me but only when im looking at girls of average attractiveness or below but when looking at above average girls all i can think of is ... glad my dick is rubber or this would be awkward.

Ryno

I have the opposite problem ... I'm a bijilion times more attracted to women. God damn. And I'm not even on T yet. I think libido, and acne, are my biggest fears regarding HRT...
Пудник
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~RoadToTrista~

Well when I see fully developed men I sometimes look at their v-shape and think about how much of a bitch it would be to transition with it, lol, but I'm still attracted to them
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emil

i always felt the same way - now after top surgery i actually start thinking boobs are nice because now that i don't have any, they're special :D it's weird, because it changed completely only  3 or 4 weeks after surgery. So now I can touch them, glance down at my own chest, and embrace the difference.
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mm

emil, I can understand what you are saying.  You can much better relate to girls having boobs now that you don't have any on your chest.
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brandnewman

Interesting post, - Ryan -

If anything, I am even MORE attracted to women than I used to be (didn't think that was possible ;). I am also attracted to men physically, but seem to be less so since taking T - I am more envious of them than ever before, however.
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RyGuy

Quote from: anibioman on August 17, 2011, 03:25:05 AM
glad my dick is rubber or this would be awkward.

HAHAHA I SAID THESE EXACT SAME WORDS TO MY FRIEND LIKE TWO DAYS AGO
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TheAwesomePrussia

I'm the type who has dominance issues in bed. So I get in bed and my male mind just kinda takes over. As I've said before, I'm lucky to have a girlfriend who's got a libido as high as mine, if not higher.
I suppose it also helps that I have a preference in women's bodies that's drastically different to my own. I like women who have the body of an ancient greek goddess. Round at the hips, a healthy weight (not fat, but not skinny either), and a fairly average chest. I just find that really attractive. It also helps that I don't see that girl I grew up trying to be in the mirror anymore. I make a point to look in the mirror and find everything about my body that I like, and not constantly dwell over what I don't like. I mean, I'll be able to change those things with time (and money), but for now, I try to appreciate the little things.
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insideontheoutside

I still find women attractive - but not those "perfect" types. I like "real". I can appreciate a nice looking person but that doesn't mean they turn me on. Don't know how else to put that. Basically I don't go for one particular type either. I would even go so far as to say that it's not always physical appearance that attracts me ... could be personality, mannerisms, lots of things.

I like guys to a certain extent. I think I like to look at guys more than I would like to do things with them. Making out is fine. BJs, etc. here and there are fine. Can't really see myself nailing another dude though. 
"Let's conspire to ignite all the souls that would die just to feel alive."
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YesacOen

I kinda feel the same way.
I'm attracted to women's faces, but kinda indifferent to their body's.
I'm not attracted to cleavage at all.
But I will grow some what attracted to someones body if I really like the person.

Quote from: insideontheoutside on August 17, 2011, 11:21:49 PM
I can appreciate a nice looking person but that doesn't mean they turn me on. Don't know how else to put that. 

That's kinda how I feel too.
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Nero

Re: de-sensitized to the female body (for straight guys mostly)

Not really. Though I do wonder if I'm particularly attracted to big hips and butts because I lacked that as female. But I was drooling over boobs since I was 10 and I certainly had my own.  :P
I agree with other posters that my post-op chest makes even small boobs seem hotter. And being hairy makes their skin seem even nicer. I'm not sure where you're at with T and top surgery, Ryan. But the more your body changes, maybe these feelings will lessen some.
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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