Uhmm, long story short: I took estrogen shortly after I turned 18, and had subsequently developed breasts which haven't changed in size (perhaps shape at most) since (I'm 20 now), and had also encountered a redistribution of fats to other parts of my body too (so, face is apparently more feminine and have curves on my sides too). Anyway, it's usually when my dysphoria awakens that I'll take estrogen - it kinda eases it a bit (but of recent, it has been at its worse -- so I've been taking estrogen once a week on average for the past two months). I also took progesterone late-May, and had subsequently found that my hips widened -- but had also noticed chest pains (growth) and was wondering if it increased the size of my chest (it feels higher than it was before I think).
However -- my main fear is that since it's a precursor to testosterone (I'm not a biologist, and only retain snippets of info and some intrinsic concepts) would resuming this increase the risk of emasculating? One of my biggest fears at present is growing taller (I'm about 5'9, or 174-178cm tall), and finding an increase in the size of my upper torso, hands and feet (my foot size is 8 - a 42 women's); and even perhaps finding further emasculation of my facial structure. I know all of this probably seems unfathomably stupid, especially with taking hormones without a physicians advice (I wasn't eligible for that, and it'll be a good few months before HRT), but sometimes I get a little desperate and my dysphoria overwhelms some ability to think rationally -- plus, I'm scared of emasculating.
So ultimately, without using anti-androgens can I safely take progesterone without it emasculating my body? And furthermore, since my upper torso is a little big (well, my traps make it look big... and are a bit muscly despite not exercising), if having been on HRT for several years is there a chance, even in the slightest, that it will bring itself into proportion so it's more genuinely female -- or would I need a breast lift?
Thanks!
