In my crazy mind i tried to "cure" myself a few years back,by buying the ugliest clothes i could find.I mean clothes i would hate to wear,weird colors.I thought if i wore them i would hate it.And thus never crossdress again.WRONG!.I found myself trying to make them work,had to run out again to get a belt,or different color pantyhose....etc.Well i will never pull that stunt again.

I joined the military to try and cure my desire to dress... it didn't work.  That was years ag.  I've long since realized that I won't stop, I can't be cured, and I like who I am.

Your story made me giggle a bit... thinking about the extremes we go through to try and change something that is just a fundamental part of who we are.

I tried that a couple of times too except I think I was more worried about certain people finding out at the time and wanted to keep it quiet.  Unfortunately that did not last long.

I wonder how many of these stories I have heard in suport groups , coffee conversations , heck , even conversations in the back of my cab when I used to be a taxi driver . get on with it , accept you're self fo all of who you were born to be ........... ! ellen

Hey Ellen,

I have come to accept myself fully.  But there was still a time that I had to go through the spiritual growth of accepting myself in the world that we live in.  Not always easy

I have also tried to stop and it didn't work.  When I was younger I purged before I even knew that other crossdressers were doing the same thing. 

My desire to dress and be feminine has increased as I have become older.  My VA psychologist says it is who I am.  I have accepted myself mostly but still hang on to being stealth and I have a ways to go before I can totally accept myself.

  Samantha

I have just started again after a five year break.  For me the desire to dress never seems to go away, the feelings just get stronger.  I just bought two dresses a new wig and panties.  I shaved my legs and dress almost full time at home.  It feels great!  Still afraid to go out.

I tend to compare crossdressing to liking ice cream or liking liver or having a favourite colour. I happen to like ice cream, very very much. So I eat it, cause I like it. I hate liver, no matter how it is cooked, and will not eat it. I have always liked ice cream, and always hated liver. My favourite colour is blue.

Now we turn to clothes. Let see, I like skirts and dresses. (and don't get me wrong here, I like guy's clothes too (especially on GGs), just not as much as I like girls clothes). So, it just a preference, that I feel, sees beyond the constraints of gender stereotype. The fact that there is a sexual aspect, to any degree, associated with it makes the desire all the stronger.

For me, where it does get a bit weird, is that whilst I won't wear those so-called "panties made for men", I will and do wear a kilt, for those times when, as I say, I am crossdressed as a guy. And lets face it, a kilt is essentially a non-bifurcated garment in a similar way that a skirt is. I will not however, cross-genres, in mixing my kilt wearing with items of feminine clothing (undies excepted). I, also, have no problems wearing panties that are designed like men's tighty-whities, including having a working fly opening.

As I have said elsewhere, it is simply a part of who I am. I can no more stop crossdressing than a tree can stop being a tree, or a leopard stop being a leopard.


Huggles

Toni-Lynn

   I spent most of my adult life in the military not understanding who I am.  I was able to keep it burried.   I just stayed lost, confused, and in a quandry while I served trying to make myself into a man.

Hi Barbara,

I think all of us have sometime tried to quit for what ever the reason. I can't begin to tell you how many times I have purged and can kick myself as there were many lovely items I threw out  . Anyhow the last time I did get away from being Jean it was for several years but I am back now and will never do that again. I have come to terms with myself that once a crossdresser always a crossdresser  .

Hugs,

Jean

Quote from: Donna Elaine on August 21, 2011, 09:27:35 AM
   I spent most of my adult life in the military not understanding who I am.  I was able to keep it burried.   I just stayed lost, confused, and in a quandry while I served trying to make myself into a man.

Sounds like my story, too.

I finally peeked out of the lingerie drawer at age 58 only to lose my wife. Within three years, I was diagnosed transsexual and began my transition, having SRS on my 63rd birthday. My new FTM spouse had his surgery a year later.

At 74, I'm still working part time on a Navy contract project of which I've been the project manager three times: once before and twice after retirement; once as male and twice as female.

Life is good once you accept who you are and live your truth.

Robyn

i like how you titled this thread with a smiling emoticon.