First off, I assume almost everyone has gone through this stage in transitioning, but for those as of now who are pre-T, or even on T and are attempting to pass and are not passing as much as they'd like, I have full respect towards you. Even if you are not seen as how you truly should be, you have the courage to continue to try and make your appearance on what reflects you on the inside. For those who are pre-T or on T and ARE passing, congratulations and I am very happy you are at a more positive point in life:) Unfortunately, like many others I do not pass. I do dress in male clothing as it is very comforting and it feels right to me and I have a more "unisex" type of hairstyle but am unmistakably identified as female. I have a feminine bone structure in my face and my voice is deeper, but still feminine. The thing is, I do not necessarily try to completely pass as male at this point. I know if I were to attempt to pass right now, I would fail and that is what is holding me back. I am currently with a therapist who specializes in gender identity disorders and have been seeing her for about 3 months. I have already taken the pysch test to see if I qualify for T (she said no one has ever "failed" the test and the patients she refers to the test, she often has full confidence in their GID). Anyways I am awaiting my results and scheduled an appointment ahead of time with the HRT doctor for a checkup before starting T (therapist recommended me to do so) but I am unsure of when I want to start attempting to pass as male. I've definately been wanting to cut my hair.. for a while now but I know I will come off as an even butchier lesbian than I look now. My question is, is it "wrong" of me to start T still being identified by the public eye as female until I feel comfortable enough with the changes from T to start cutting my hair and attempting to look more masculine? (ex. I would be 2-3 months on T, THEN I cut my hair, wear fitted caps, mens tank tops, etc.)

One other question, if you have began to attempt passing as male, how old were you when you started and why were you comfortable to start? And if you are on T, how long before or after T did you really start trying to pass?

I'm pre-t and pre-op myself and I only pass about 30% of the time. When I do it's great. I don't make too much effort in passing because I know apart from T I'll never be 100%. Right now I'm just doing whats comfortable and accessible. Like a binder and a packer and go from there. Passing the 30% that I do I'm grateful for. I don't know if it's "wrong" to be ID'd as female before T. I know for me, I can't help that and probably come off as a butch lesbian right now. My voice, face, lips and height are all working against me and a lot of that can't change until T.

There is no right or wrong way to go about transitioning. Do what you want, when it feels comfortable.

I started wearing men's/boy's clothing almost exclusively by age 10 or so. Cut my hair super short when I was 17, started binding and really presenting as male aroung 18. I started testosterone at 23. I've been on T for 9 months. Seen as male around 10% of the time.

I just tried to do what I could with the resources I had.

I've been passing as male on and off since a young age because I've really only ever worn boys clothes. I officially started "trying" to pass at around 10 or so. I found out what trans was at around 14-15 and at that point I officially started introducing myself as male where-as before I just avoided pronouns and stuff. Started binding with ace a year later (don't recommend it) I didn't know the health risks then before that I was wearing really tight sports... chest holders (hate that other word). Never wore a regular *chest holder* in my life. 

I've been on T 8 months and up until a couple months or so occasionally still got ma'amed by people thinking I was a butch lesbian. As far as why I was comfortable to start it wasn't just that, it was that even since I was a kid getting called girl and ma'am just wasn't comfortable and being male has always been more comfortable.

You should go about transitioning however you feel comfortable, but I plan on living exclusively as a male for at least six months before starting T, just to be 100% sure.

I have tried to pass as male a few times during the last year, and passed quite often when I was younger since I always wore my hair short. When I was younger, though, I never really tried passing, and would be a little embarrassed when I did since I was usually with one of my brothers or my mom.

Once when I was around 15, I went to my mom's doctor appointment with her, and the doctor asked her when the last time she had a 'female exam' was. She looked at me weird and hesitated before saying it. I knew she thought I was a guy, even though I obviously had a D cup. XD That really amused me.

I'm only really comfortable in male clothing, and have been wearing it ever since my mom let me start choosing my own clothes. As soon as I get a binder and some decent clothes, I plan on telling the rest of my family that I believe I am trans, and then I will start trying to pass in public. I'm more excited about it than scared, and I really look forward to finally being comfortable with myself. The only thing that worries me is my voice, but I am going to start practicing talking in a male sounding voice so I don't feel so self conscious.

Quote from: Karsin on August 21, 2011, 09:39:44 PM
As soon as I get a binder and some decent clothes, I plan on telling the rest of my family that I believe I am trans, and then I will start trying to pass in public. I'm more excited about it than scared, and I really look forward to finally being comfortable with myself. The only thing that worries me is my voice, but I am going to start practicing talking in a male sounding voice so I don't feel so self conscious.

You should just tell them that you are trans, not that you "think" you are trans because then they will be able to use that to question and/or invalidate your identity. 

Quote from: Andy8715 on August 21, 2011, 10:59:35 PM

You should just tell them that you are trans, not that you "think" you are trans because then they will be able to use that to question and/or invalidate your identity.

I see what you mean... So far, I told the people that I came out to that I definitely am, but I was just thinking that they would be more accepting about it if I told them that I think I am. I still have time to plan it before I do it, so maybe I will just write a letter since I usually get my point across in writing better.

Thanks for bringing that to my attention!

Hey guys, thanks for the responses they really have given me a better insight on how others take actions on  their feelings. As for myself, I think I explained myself wrong in my first post and sort of set the wrong impression. I was trying not to ramble on lol. I do live in a small town also so it would be apparent to everyone that I'm changing if I got my desired haircuts but so far no ones really noticed anything different and there's no reason why they should because I haven't really made any big changes on my appearance. Everyone identifies me as "lesbian", which I HATE, no offense to others whatsoever.  I've known ever since I can remember as a child that I was indeed male. My mom let me dress how I chose (male) but up until around 7th grade people started noticing and commenting about how I dressed especially because puberty was around for everyone. I let it get to me so I started to dress more feminine and hated it but I just fit in better and things seemed to have gone smoother than other pathways. I came out to everyone as lesbian because I wasn't aware of gender identity disorders or transsexuals. I just knew I liked girls. But once I entered high school I began to dress comfortably again. I'm now 18, graduated, and have been living as trans, but only to myself, my girlfriend, and certain family members knowing I feel and identify as male. I've been binding and packing for about a year or more now. Wearing mens clothing but for some reason I still seem to be pulling them off as female. So no one really thinks twice about how I dress or my gender. The thing that worries me is if I cut my hair and dress even more masculine as I'd like (my body limits me right now) and try to pass, I won't, and it will heighten my dysphoria even more. It's been pretty bad lately to say the least, and has interfered with my girlfriend and I's social life. Even though everyone still sees me as female, I feel like.. everyone knows about me.. Like there is something different about me. It has also impacted me socially, I am very outgoing and confident when socializing but getting out of the house is the hard part. What I am basically trying to say here is that I want to, sort of, CHEAT my way through any awkward moments. I kind of get them now because I've heard people second guess my gender, but not often at all. I know there will be those non-passing moments when truly attempting to pass publicly (oh well everyone pretty much has to deal with it I guess) but I figured it would be easier on me being read as female in public, then once starting T just acting on those big changes and passing more confidently when the changes are more noticeable. Like some of you have said, just go with what you're comfortable with, I think that is most likely whats going to happen. But as for starting T, I am having no second thoughts on it and the permanent changes that it brings and am embracing them more and more everyday. My plan is pretty much starting T within 2 weeks, which my therapist suggested what was going to happen, continue living stealthily trans to myself until around December, then moving to a bigger city where I'll be starting school and living publicly male for sure. Even if I am passing or not. If the major changes start showing sooner than December, AWESOME, I'll live male publicly here and pass hopefully a lot more confidently 🙂

For me, the fear of passing is because I'm afraid that people will correctly identify me as male, but then take a closer look and change their mind and "correct" themselves. But I pass almost 75% of the time, depending on the context of the interaction. I pass significantly less when I have to use my birth name (since my name change is taking it's sweet ass time).

Ever since I've had choice in clothing I've dressed as a boy. I had short hair since I was in elementary school. I passed as a boy as a kid, but I would say that I'm female just because that was what was accepted in that situation. There was a lapse in middle school (age 12-14) where I tried to fake being female, but I still never really pulled it off. I quickly learned that I was very much baffled by and displeased with those dumb adolescent expectations of females. That's also when I realized I liked girls, and through most of adolescence just assumed that I was a lesbian. I hated that term, and never felt it suited me, but it was the closest thing I could come up with for me since I wasn't really introduced to the concept of being transgender until late adolescence. It took a while for me to have the idea occur to me that that suited me. I think that was mainly because of the fear of what I would have to go through to transition (socially, mostly). Another major obstacle was the cost of transitioning. For a while there, SRS wasn't covered by provincial health insurance (in Canada). These seemingly superficial reasons were my main deterrents in transitioning before I realized how much of a toll being in denial was taking on me. Now I am 25, and after a LOT of thinking last summer, I started coming out to people. The past year has been a very eventful year in terms of self exploration and who the major people in my life should be. I don't imagine that will change much in the next while either.

I actively started trying to pass since last winter. I basically started after I learned about the criteria here to be eligible for government funded SRS. You have to live in your "preferred" gender role for at least a year before you can get surgery. I have always assumed that people view me as masculine anyway, so I didn't think it would be such a leap to start trying to pass. As much as I wish I didn't have to try to pass with my chest tumours, I knew I had to do it. How much easier it would be if I was flat chested like I should be. It was strange for me, though, because when I told myself I would try and pass, the rate of passing went up. Perhaps something to do with the fact I was acting more confident? But now I'm a month and a half on T, so hopefully I can get to 100% passing within the next year. I think my voice is one of the main problems I have. That and my chest, which is the bane of my existence. Binding only helps slightly, but that will be better in the winter I hope, since I will have the aid of heavy clothing. Plus I won't be sweating my balls off due to binding (as well as being fat). The dysphoria is very bad in the summer because I always think about how I have to wear two layers of clothing, and can't just walk around in a thin shirt like most men can.

Logan, you pretty much have it spot on:) And you're right about making my changes. I have been focusing too long on what others think with passing and not on how I feel. I'm hoping to make the changes before starting T I've been waiting for so long and to find out who I am. You put it all too well, The rest of the world be damned. Let's just hope that courage comes sooner than I'd like.