I was getting this burning sensation in my genital area and it was becoming rather bothersome... So I went to the restroom and conducted an inspection fearing the worst...

I couldn't see anything obviously wrong and put my undies back up... But then it started burning even more intensely... So I'm thinking, "Oh great, I'll have to go to the Dr. and get it checked out" 

So I get myself ready to go face the music and figure I should probably go tinkle before taking off... So I take down my undies and what should come flinging out? A hot pepper seed

Oh Hell, I think there is a first time for everything!!! At least you found it before you went to the Dr.

This might be too much info

I had a haemorrhoid and was using one of those soothing creams to treat it. Once I accidentally used DencoRub, the heating cream for sore muscles etc. Had a very interesting day after that.

Cindy

OMG!!!

...and then there's the perennial "Oh god, I must be dying!!!... oh, wait, I had beetroot for supper last night..."

when i was about 4, I had the flu and vomited bright red.  My mom freaked out until she remembered that she had given me a red popsicle a little bit before.

I've panicked before after looking in the mirror and noticing that my lips were blue, while forgetting that I had just eaten a blue lollipop.

I just laughed my ass off. Those are great. I don't think my story is nearly as funny but I'll try anyway

I was driving down a stretch of road near the country side, you know, with really narrow lanes. It was winter, just after a huge dump of snow. The front right tire slipped off the road where there is gravel covered in ice as snow, so I panicked and veered back onto the road. Suddenly the car lurched towards the ditch on the other side of the road and I was thinking, "OH GOD, OH GOD, WE'RE GOING IN. WE'RE GOING IN." Thn the nos of the car kept spinning to the left and skidded to a stop facing the opposite direction, in the other lane.

After white-knuckling it for a few minutes I broke down and started laughing my ass off. Can't remember my girlfriend at the time's reaction, but she was probably pissed.

Best u-turn ever...

Jail was like that, the first time at least.