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saying goodbye

Started by jamie nicole, August 21, 2011, 06:37:53 PM

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jamie nicole

saying goodbye to my friends I've made here.  some of my comments I leave are based on my opinions and my personal experiences......I've been attacked, labled with certain terms and some comments drastically misinterpreted.  I am a human being with feelings and now as a result of some of these attacks, am questioning if I really want to continue on.  Its the perfect reason why the whole LGBT community will remain deeply fragmented. 
Thanks for pushing me to this point!
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Diane Elizabeth

   I have read several of your postiings and I can truly say that I will miss your insightful thoughts and hope you will reconsider your decision.  I am sure there are many others here that you have helped in the past.  Too many to let a few opinionated people shouldn't be allowed to drive anyone away.  I hope you come back soon.
Having you blanket in the wash is like finding your psychiatrist is gone for the weekend!         Linus "Peanuts"
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madirocks

I do not understand why, I thought the comments from you that I've read have been very insightful. I'm sorry you feel this way. :(
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tekla

It's just a small example of how people can not tolerate dissent anymore, you can see it writ large in the current political situation, or at sporting events.  Ever smaller groups of people splintering into ever smaller units.  Divide and conquer.
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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BunnyBee

If you can't handle a different viewpoint from your own, don't worry, there's somebody with a blog somewhere that agrees with you.
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tekla

Yeah, it's called the 'echo chamber' effect.  Everyone agrees, anyone who is outside the range gets zotted, or kicked out, or whatever.  It's like stupidity, but squared.
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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AbraCadabra

Sorry to hear it.
My own often different socialization doesn't make it always easy for me either.
I guess it's impossible not to run into some dissent if you leave main-stream opinions.
Granted, we also do not ALWAYS get right either.
It's a give and take as is the case with most relationships.

Sorry, it was enough to get you discouraged enough to chuck it in hon.

Thoughtful... and good luck for the future,
Axelle
Some say: "Free sex ruins everything..."
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Cindy

Sorry to hear this Jamie, I appreciate robust discussion and I see no reason for people to be 'nasty' with it at all. Do reconsider and if people do get nasty, report it to a mod straight away.

I like your posts, they are interesting and thoughtful

Cindy
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Amazon D

Quote from: Cindy James on August 22, 2011, 01:53:17 AM
Sorry to hear this Jamie, I appreciate robust discussion and I see no reason for people to be 'nasty' with it at all. Do reconsider and if people do get nasty, report it to a mod straight away.

I like your posts, they are interesting and thoughtful

Cindy

Ditto i totally agree
I'm an Amazon womyn + very butch + respecting MWMF since 1999 unless invited. + I AM A HIPPIE

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Hikari

Awww, well, I am gonna miss you. I understand though, do what you have to do to be happy, and never let anyone bring you down. Thanks for answering my questions about Dr. Saran you have given me more options to consider in my own transition.

I wish you the best I really do, we need more people like you, willing to share personal information for the sake of informing people, and willing to put forth unpopular and popular opinions so that people are better informed.
15 years on Susans, where has all the time gone?
  • skype:hikari?call
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valyn_faer

Solidarity doesn't necessarily require absolute homogeneity. How we handle disagreements is what decides whether or not we end up fragmented.
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LilKittyCatZoey

gonna miss you :(

since i have been on this website i have enjoyed all your posts i hope you have a good life mwa  :-*


ps i know what you mean i have had the same thing ... should have 6 smites but i got 4 of the 6 removed because i am entitled to my opinion yet simple minded ppl ruin this site but not trying to understand everyone's opinions :( pls reconsider your a true  and sweet person :)
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Julie Marie

Jamie, being on a forum (which is BTW on a medium that is rife with omnipotent, fearless, warriors who would cower at the thought of saying to your face what they say online) requires one to understand the person sitting at their keyboard typing away whatever they feel like typing, does in no way define you.  Nor can they make you wrong, stupid, ugly, ignorant or unimportant.  In fact they have absolutely no effect on you, unless you let them.

But we can always allow them to be right when they see us as beautiful people.  :D

Consider staying.  Illegitimi non carborundum
When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself.
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FairyGirl

I'm sad to see yet another post-op leave, but I completely understand your feelings.  As Julie said, pretentious people abound in these places.  But  I've been here a while and I've seen this: all those people eventually leave, to be replaced with even more pretentious people, lol.

I found this old post here; the whole thing was rather sad, but I couldn't say it any better than this:

Quote from: Lisbeth on August 22, 2005, 09:39:07 AMThen there are those who are beyond caring about labels, the ones who no longer have a need to come back because the community no longer provides what they need.  Some linger for a time because of a sense of nostalgia, but they all eventually leave.

I have seen many, many who have gone beyond needing Susan's.  Some of them I miss very much.  Soon I will be one of them.  In my time lingering here I have found so many of the vital topics of the day to be unutterably boring, and so many of the guardians of truth and morality to be insufferably full of themselves.  You see, I have a life now, and I don't need anyone to guide me on my path for however many months or years I have left.

Illegitimi non carborundum indeed.

Girls rule, boys drool.
If I keep a green bough in my heart, then the singing bird will come.
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Amazon D

Quote from: Jamie Nicole on August 21, 2011, 06:37:53 PM
saying goodbye to my friends I've made here.  some of my comments I leave are based on my opinions and my personal experiences......I've been attacked, labled with certain terms and some comments drastically misinterpreted.  I am a human being with feelings and now as a result of some of these attacks, am questioning if I really want to continue on.  Its the perfect reason why the whole LGBT community will remain deeply fragmented. 
Thanks for pushing me to this point!


You say yes, I say no.
You say stop and I say go go go, oh no.
You say goodbye and I say hello
Hello hello
I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello
Hello hello
I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello

I say high, you say low
You say why and I say I don't know, oh no
You say goodbye and I say hello
(Hello Goodbye Hello Goodbye) hello hello
(Hello Goodbye) I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello
(Hello Goodbye Hello Goodbye) hello hello
(Hello Goodbye) I don't know why you say goodbye
(Hello Goodbye) I say hello

Why why why why why why do you say goodbye goodbye, oh no?

You say goodbye and I say hello
Hello hello
I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello
Hello hello
I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello

You say yes (I say "yes") I say no (but I may mean no.)
You say stop (I can stay) and I say go go go (till it's time to go ), oh no no
You say goodbye and I say hello
Hello hello
I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello
Hello hello
I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello
Hello hello
I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello hello
Hellooooo

Hela hey helloa
Hela hey helloa Cha Cha Cha
Hela hey helloa Whooo
Hela hey helloa Hela
Hela hey helloa Cha Cha Cha
Hela hey helloa Whooo
Hela hey helloa Cha Cha
Hela hey helloa
I'm an Amazon womyn + very butch + respecting MWMF since 1999 unless invited. + I AM A HIPPIE

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Amazon D

Hello   now we are all getting to know you more personally so don't say goodbye while we say hello  ;)
I'm an Amazon womyn + very butch + respecting MWMF since 1999 unless invited. + I AM A HIPPIE

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jamie nicole

I want to thank everyone for their support thru comments to this thread and PM's.  But, I will say that I am still on the fence with my decision.  I had marked my account for deletion but will ponder my decision a few days.
I will say this.......everybody is unique in what they bring to the table in the form of experiences, opinions and advice.  NOBODY, and I mean nobody, should ever be attacked or persecuted because their opinions and/or comments go against the grain.  I've seen where this has happened to quite a few members.
For those who like to do this, I will offer this advice:
Everything in this world is not always viewed in black and white......there is alot of gray area in everything and it is in this gray area where we see alot of diversity in thought and that is what makes conversation so stimulating.  Nobody is right, nobody is wrong but when you attack and insist that others are wrong because you disagree, that is where YOU are wrong.  To label someone a bigot because their opinions are different than yours?  I doubt very highly that anyone on here is a bigot.  Then even worse, when you have some education and try to make yourself sound more intelligent than you are and use that as an excuse?  My answer is "whatever!"
There's no secret that the whole LGBT community is deeply fragmented......when you ridicule and attack other members because their opinions are different, you do nothing but add to that fragmentation.  At a time when we need unity to advance anti-discrimination legislation, the very last thing we need is to be fragmented.  If we ourselves cannot remain united, how the hell do we expect our elected officials to unite behind such legislation?
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valyn_faer

Your solution to a fragmented community is to leave, thereby making it more fragmented?

While fragmentation is a very big issue, so is a lack of accurate information, which is often what some of that fragmentation is the result of. As for "nobody is right and nobody is wrong," there are degrees of accuracy, with some arguments and information being more accurate than others. Our community needs greater access to accurate information that is relevant to us, and we need more trans people playing a bigger role in the production of knowledge trans related and gender related. What we don't need is misinformation. Instead of eschewing those who have more information and education, and accusing them of trying to sound smarter than they are, perhaps we should look to them for inspiration in learning more about our own community; the details of the issues that affect us; the intersectionalities of race, social class, and sexual orientation and how these impact our community; and how we might solve the problems we face and promote education outside of our community. I see this as a far greater solution to fragmentation than simply bailing when there's a little friction, which there will probably always be. Do you think there was no fragmentation among African Americans in the civil rights movement? The gay rights movement? The feminist movement has been extremely fragmented for decades. There will probably always be some level of fragmentation. The issue is to what extent and how we respond to it.

Furthermore, please don't trivialize my education. I've worked extremely hard for years and have overcome considerable odds against me. And please don't trivialize education in general, either. Considering that our educational system is continuously being defunded, the last thing this country needs (assuming you're in the U.S.) is for people to begin to think there's no value in receiving an education.
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Sam(my)I am

You know I have been here for a very short time, I won't pretend to know you as well as everyone here, but I would to just like to say from what I have read of your posts you are a great asset, you are a great person. Your thoughts have always seemed very well written and never black or white you always allow room for others thoughts, in short you are open minded, if you do decide to leave I'll miss that. I have noticed cracks in the community that do make us fragmented but removing a piece of a mirror does not in any way make it easier to fix it to, make it wholesome and reflect our true community.

We'll if you do leave I wish you peace & rest, if you don't I hope for the best :)
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jamie nicole

Quote from: valyn_faer on August 25, 2011, 11:26:30 AM
Your solution to a fragmented community is to leave, thereby making it more fragmented?

While fragmentation is a very big issue, so is a lack of accurate information, which is often what some of that fragmentation is the result of. As for "nobody is right and nobody is wrong," there are degrees of accuracy, with some arguments and information being more accurate than others. Our community needs greater access to accurate information that is relevant to us, and we need more trans people playing a bigger role in the production of knowledge trans related and gender related. What we don't need is misinformation. Instead of eschewing those who have more information and education, and accusing them of trying to sound smarter than they are, perhaps we should look to them for inspiration in learning more about our own community; the details of the issues that affect us; the intersectionalities of race, social class, and sexual orientation and how these impact our community; and how we might solve the problems we face and promote education outside of our community. I see this as a far greater solution to fragmentation than simply bailing when there's a little friction, which there will probably always be. Do you think there was no fragmentation among African Americans in the civil rights movement? The gay rights movement? The feminist movement has been extremely fragmented for decades. There will probably always be some level of fragmentation. The issue is to what extent and how we respond to it.

Furthermore, please don't trivialize my education. I've worked extremely hard for years and have overcome considerable odds against me. And please don't trivialize education in general, either. Considering that our educational system is continuously being defunded, the last thing this country needs (assuming you're in the U.S.) is for people to begin to think there's no value in receiving an education.

I was referring to opinions when I mentioned that nobody is right and nobody is wrong.  I to am college educated, working on my grad degree but that doesnt mean my thoughts and opinions trump anyone elses nor does it mean my thoughts and opinions carry more weight than others and unlike some members on here, you'll never hear me say "because I'm working on my grad degree, I know more than you do" type of ->-bleeped-<-.
Aside from that, you wanna know what really churns my stomach?  The various comments I've seen on here throwing stones at us post up gals insinuating that we are "elitists" because we are post op.......sounds more like jealousy than anything and that churns my stomach like you would not believe.
I have my own opinions (as we all do) and thoughts and nobody should ever be attacked because they go against the norm....nobody.  I have zero tolerance for ignorance.
I use my education and life experiences to help educate others speaking at many educational institutions.  I sure dont do it for me as my journey is complete.........I do it for these same people whose own journey is still midstream or just beginning....these very same people that spew some of these hateful comments and attacks.
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