Quote from: Cindi Jones on August 21, 2011, 02:55:29 AM
I don't think that you'd necessarily find two people who had corrective surgery for a cleft palette searching each other out. Yet, for some reason, "we" have this overpowering need to seek out others like us.

Probably because people with other disabilities and conditions don't get near as much hate and discrimination as we get.

Don't people who drive corvettes flash their lights at each other?  I drive an old P/U truck.  Sometimes I experience Automobiledysphoria along with my gender dysphoria.  It would be a lot cheaper if I could just buy the corvette!  In all seriousness, isn't it nice to know we aren't alone in this universe?  At least when it is in a positive way.  When I was young, neighbors smiled and waved: coming to an intersection (in my dream corvette), I could see the expressions and eyes of the other driver and know their intention of stopping or not.  Today, the other driver is on the phone, behind smoked out windows.  We live in secluded lonely suburbs, rarely venturing out for human interaction.  I remember the few times that I have actually interacted with other humans in a non-business situation.  Mostly they are fond, vivid memories in a life of too much social isolation and the grey sameness of making a living.  I wonder if those corvette drivers make the occasional friend, develop a sense of community, feel empowered because of the simple act of acknowledgement?  Gee, we ought to vote on it and if the "friendliness" resolution passes, we will put a chapter on it in the Trans handbook we all get!         

We I live in secluded lonely suburbs, rarely venturing out for human interaction.

Most people (about 80%) in the US live in urban areas, of that 80%, 60% of them live in areas of 200,000 or more.  LA and NYC, between the two of them, have 10% of the total population.  So most people don't live in lonely suburbs, or in rural areas.  I think there are a lot of people in these rooms who don't interact much, but I don't think they are the majority of people in the US.

Quote from: LordKAT on August 18, 2011, 07:58:06 PM
I find the 'stalker' type activity creepy. I'm very glad I'm not one for malls or any public place where people 'hang out'. Even more so after reading about this.

I don't see all the supposed trans people you do but I never cared. I see no reason to look for them  and even less to address someone on the belief that they are. I think that would knock someones esteem way down if they don't pass well and if they do, you could only out them or yourself unless showing yourself to just be nosy.

This.  Furthermore it's pretty crappy to assume you know something about someone's identity.  For all you know that "FTM" you see a cis man with femme-ish features or a butch cis woman. 

Not to mention the whole can of worms you could be opening up if this person IS trans and stealth.  Imagine how that would feel mentally to them. 

No I don't want to talk to them about it at all, they might feel really bad if I did. They are not trying to look trans so I don't assume them looking trans is an invitation to talk about trans things. Drawing attention to it is just letting them know that people can tell.

Unless I'm talking to them for some other completely different reason and it happened to come up in conversation (it does happen...apparently i have a trustworthy face) I wouldn't have the sheer nerve and affront to pretend I knew about someone from just looking at them.

I would just say hello and transact whatever business I had with them, the same as anyone else.  If they start to steer conversation that way, I'd just go with it without saying anything that might cause upset.  If there is time for a longer conversation, fair enough, but if I am trying to pass, I don't expect to be outed either.

Karen.

I do get a happy feeling when I see what I think is other trans people, of all gender and sexes.  I never usually confront them in anyway, sometimes I just stare from a distance, sometimes we make eye contact, and something about the eye contact we make, it feels different then eye contact with someone else.  It is some strange connection, perhaps I only feel, or perhaps the other feels it too, or not, as I am not trans.

I can't help but feel a sense of pride when I see someone willing to be themselves, I think that is what it is.

Quote from: Sera on August 25, 2011, 12:34:46 PM
I do get a happy feeling when I see what I think is other trans people, of all gender and sexes.  I never usually confront them in anyway, sometimes I just stare from a distance, sometimes we make eye contact, and something about the eye contact we make, it feels different then eye contact with someone else.  It is some strange connection, perhaps I only feel, or perhaps the other feels it too, or not, as I am not trans.

I think I know what you mean.  Of the people in my life who I talk to on a regular basis, there are one or two who I think may be trans.  I enjoy the thought that we might have this in common, even though I would never, ever say anything.

Quote from: Sera on August 25, 2011, 12:34:46 PM
I do get a happy feeling when I see what I think is other trans people, of all gender and sexes.  I never usually confront them in anyway, sometimes I just stare from a distance, sometimes we make eye contact, and something about the eye contact we make, it feels different then eye contact with someone else.  It is some strange connection, perhaps I only feel, or perhaps the other feels it too, or not, as I am not trans.

I can't help but feel a sense of pride when I see someone willing to be themselves, I think that is what it is.

This is a little more what I was referring to with my OP. I never meant to ask "do you want to shout across the room to them?" or even talk to them about being trans. I just mean there is this excitement I get when I recognize someone as being off the binary gender radar and want to come up with some way of starting a casual conversation with them. For some reason, when I meet a trans or non-cisgender person, there is some kind of connection when we lock eyes, kind of a mutual "I know something about you" look.

And I don't go looking for others. I just end up sitting next to a transwoman on the bus, or a couple of genderqueer people come into work, or a transguy isshopping in the same store I am. Does my noticing the mean they don't pass? of course not. But being so involved in the gay and trans comunity and especially since coming out as trans myself, I've noticed there's a certain feling or look about someone who is gender variant or trans*. No, I don't have the right to decide what their identity is and I wasn't implying that. But I do have some kind of sense that they're different than the average Jane or Joe you walk by every day.

What methods are you using to identify someone as trans or gender non variant?