I know what you're saying. But, I am my own first line of mental defense, Mary here is second, and she's got more than 30 yrs of experience. I depend on her to tell my the truth and what I up to, where I'm at. I have a therapist, psychiatrist, psychologist, and the doctors at the clinic in town. There would be about 5-10 mins for an evaluation team would start to show up. They can declare an emergency an I'm strapped down on the gurney and off we go. I can call them, or Mary can. I can get a grip, and start acting normal, I get to stay home. But, I am the one who starts the process. I go to Mary and start letting her know. she takes it from there. So if i'm not always watching out for myself, i might get a knock on my bedroom door and get up to talk with the police in my bedroom or down stairs. They are very nice about everything so long as I don't get violent (I have a horrible record from my past). They also are not afraid of using there tazers with out notice.
Looking up from myself sounds nice and for periods of the day I can do that, sometimes all day. I have been going through a lot of sudden and somewhat abnormal attacks in myself for awhile now, but we'll see.
Sometimes I wonder
What I'm going to do
there ain't no cure
for the summer time blues.
Hah hah!
Ativan