Not sure how to explain my situation.  I am now trying to get a good job, and at the same time,  I am so tired of my life that ...to move forward is hard.  I'm tired of being alone...I'm tired of the harrassement I get from my neighbors,  I am tired of having to explain my existence!  I'm tired of having to find a way to complete my surgeries and be free from this bondage.  I know I have alot to be thankful for, and at the same time, I would not wish my life on anyone.  Right now, I just look to live long enough to give my senior dogs a good life....and then....I am ready to go. 

Dan, are you receiving councelling? If not is it possible to start?

Sadly you are not the first person to feel this way and you will not be the last. Do you have any friends or family you can turn to for support?

I really do feel for you and your comment about living to look after your dog resonated with me because i was in a very similar situation a few years ago. If my dog hadn't walked in i'd have jumped from a 12th floor window where i used to live.
I wish there was something more i could say to help you xxx

Quote from: mowdan6 on August 20, 2011, 01:59:19 PM
I know I have alot to be thankful for, and at the same time, I would not wish my life on anyone.

I would not wish being transgendered on anyone. It's a tough thing to deal with. Most transgendered people have their own personal way of working though to a point where they can live with it. Until you get to that point, it's very painful. It does get better and most of us finally get to a point where the pain is mostly if not totally gone and we move on with life. Hang in there, you will make it there too hun!

You can't give up, after you've come so far. I live in a place to risky to come out safely in, but I am myself. I hate my body now, I am so flat it about kills me. Capenter's dream and all that lol. I'm working toward fixing that though.

If you need a friend, I am here.

I don't know you, but You are loved.

*Hugs*

Kristi

Quote from: mowdan6 on August 20, 2011, 01:59:19 PM
Not sure how to explain my situation.  I am now trying to get a good job, and at the same time,  I am so tired of my life that ...to move forward is hard.  I'm tired of being alone...I'm tired of the harrassement I get from my neighbors,  I am tired of having to explain my existence!  I'm tired of having to find a way to complete my surgeries and be free from this bondage.  I know I have alot to be thankful for, and at the same time, I would not wish my life on anyone.  Right now, I just look to live long enough to give my senior dogs a good life....and then....I am ready to go.

I wrestle with suicidal thoughts on a daily basis... I'm not sure what has stopped me

I hope for you to be able to work out your issues as I work on working out mine    The more of us that band together, the less lonely any of us have to be

Hugs

- Virginia

I have been way down a time or two or ten in my life, and what got me through was to also look at what there was to enjoy. I try never to fail to appreciate a sunset. Never to fail to notice a pretty flower or cute baby. I try not to let my anxiety and sadness contaminate the joy in life that can be there if I accept it. It does not make the bad go away, but it makes it more tolerable. I also have a job that enables me to be of service, so I feel like I am making a difference one person at a time. That helps too.

I hope sharing your feelings helped

Thanks for all your replys.  I have good days, like today, and bad days, like when I posted this.  I guess the hardest part of my life now, is letting go of the fear that holds me back from being 100% myself.  I know the only person that holds me back, is me.  And, I know that I am my own worst enemy. 

Yeah I'm right there with ya. Except for the dog part, I don't even have that lol. Hope things get better soon.

mow, hope youre gonna be ok.

just try to keep a cool head when making decisions and still... sometimes if youre worried try to think of why you are coz maybe you are worried and being held back by yourself for a good reason too right. but if you get sure that youre doing waht you really want etc then just... good luck and i hope youd have the resolve and guts, if thats waht you call it, to move forward.