Recent events are making me feel almost sub human, and I need my friends here to pick me up a little...

It's been a very long time since I've felt this bad.

related feelings:

I'm not pretty
People see me as a boy wearing girl clothes
People are so mean to LGBT people
My voice is hideous
I'm gaining weight
I am a burden
I am a liar

This all stems from being read, I think.
God I'm having an emotional night 

Be back tomorrow friends.

Hon,
we seem to go through phases of confusion and lack of selfassurance, being hurt, and hurting, I'm in one right now myself, and feel for you, tears in my eyes.

It's the times we are SO in need of a hug and a kind word.

Wish I could give you a real hug and some kind words from my own not so girly voice.

Tears running down my old worn face, there will will be better hours and days - look forward, not down. It will make you dizzy and none of us want you to fall.

To be sad at times is part of our being.
Hug, am so with you right now,
Axelle

Hi Emma

Poor girl, having those thoughts.
In the first place, you're NOT sub human, you're Emma, a person with thoughts, opinions, feelings.
The feelings are hurt, that's for sure, but Emma, the list you've made is the list of other people who are opposite to you, don't make it one of yours.

It's a battle sweetie, a long battle....when it comes to transition there are so many things to do.
Coming out, hrt, srs....these are the minor things, the big one is to convince the others that you're not what they want to see.

Sometimes it's necessary to take some distance from others.
Yeah, I know, it can be lonely sometimes, but better lonely than hearing the daily negative comments.
I've been there too Emma, the only thing I can say to you is, keep on believing in yourself, in your feelings, and follow your dream, persist and keep on persisting.

Don't try to explain what is going on to you to people who don't want to listen, it's a waist of energy.
Just listen to yourself and be faithful to yourself.
At the end of the day you win, but it takes a lot of strength to get there.
So, keep your head up, don't argue with silly people and be PROUD, because you will do where others don't have the courage for, you're making your dream come true.

The thing is, you're vulnerable now and the opposite takes advantage of it, don't allow them  to do that.
Let those criticasters keep their mouth shut, coz no one wants to walk a mile in your shoes, actually, I don't think they have the courage for it.

Keep your pride hun, and show the world you can beat all those obstacles on your journey to become who you REALLY are.

Give ém hell sis and win that battle,  I know you can...... and you know it too.

A big hug for a hurt sister
Annette

I hope tomorrow looks infinitely brighter for you!   And I'm always happy to talk about things if you need someone.

And you're defenitely NOT a burden

love
Annette

Sounds like you had a really bad day Emma.

As far as I am concerned your statements are all a bit subjective-

I'm not pretty- Wrong, you are quite attractive. We are all our own worst critic when it comes to appearance. 
People see me as a boy wearing girl clothes- Doubt that, you look too feminine in the photo's you have posted,
People are so mean to LGBT people-That is true, usually due to their own latent homosexuality and internalised homophobia.
My voice is hideous- Apart from the Yank accent you sound okay. Honest.
I'm gaining weight-The female fat has to come from somewhere darl. I have put on wait at the same time as I can see it disappearing from some areas.
I am a burden-wrong, you are a big help to a lot of us here in your family
I am a liar- How so? seems like you are telling the truth in the most important way, by living as your true self.

Hope things look brighter in the morning darl. You can't help it if you live in an area with a high proportion of  what we  call "bogans."

Karen.

Hi Emma,

I see you have had rough times recently. They always get us down, but we can rise above them. There are nice people who appreciate other humans for what we are. The people who don't appreciate other people are worthless and not worth worrying or even thinking about.

I saw you video and you are an attractive woman who passes easily. You are feminine and nice, OK all Americans sound funny, it is only Aussies who have a good accent , I'll get clobbered for that .

Some times when we are down it all gets too much and starts to compound on us. Then we shake it off and see how lucky we really are.

Lucky you say

How many people have a family that is totally accepting of you, understands your problems and will stand next to, talk to you at any time and comfort you when you need comfort.

You do.

We all do at Susan's, we are a family and yes we have family problems but nothing like some families.

Hugs Sis

Cindy

Recent events are making me feel almost sub human, and I need my friends here to pick me up a little...

I get down like that at times and I'm very thankful when someone comes along to lift me up again... We are all here for you dear, arm in arm, hand in hand... That's what sisters do 

Hugs

- Virginia

Hi again to today!

the sun has come through the clouds?
Was asked out to go for lunch, went to do some shopping (all being madamed helped too :-) and things are looking up again.

When we get down into the dumps we often feel we'd not ever surface again. This morning it felt as if I could not leave my place and just crawl into a corner and hide away.

A warm bath, some makeup, and some dress indecision... all turned out for the better.
Even my scale just going up and up --- screw it!
Wher does all that weight come from?

I'm old, crinkly, but not ever ugly. Ugly thoughts can make us look ugly, so let's try leave those behind.

I hope for some light at your tunnel too Emma,
Axelle

hi emma, i know how you feel since i used the same words before actually... i mean feeling like  sub human and well...

i really hope you can feel better soon.

well, if you feel like talking or exchanging ideas here and there just PM me I guess.

I'm not pretty - we can become pretty. i started out as shrekish. im not pretty ok but im just less of a shrek now atleast
People see me as a boy wearing girl clothes - me too well for a while and on some occasions still, point being it can change just dont lose hope. its jsut a mix of hiding and showing i guess
People are so mean to LGBT people - that well, i guess sometimes the simple way to sidestep that is for them to not notice right
My voice is hideous - me im working on it too. it took me like a few years to get how i sound now but it seems to work
I'm gaining weight - im trying to lose weight again
I am a burden - that can change too emma, its not permanent youll be better ok
I am a liar - ... ... so am i, but so are a lot of them out there. are we really so different from the rest. they say, blend in after all anyway... if thats how normal people are then...

 

After all of this I feel a bit better, you sisters are sometimes just what I need. I don't think going in for an interview while feeling so incredibly terrible about myself would have been very wise.

On the record for the Aussies in the room:
I lost my southern accent as my voice started to change, it's very family specific, and I'm sure some time with my grandpa will help it bubble back up. In fact, losing that has been a difficult thing to deal with, since people used to use it to help identify me.

I suppose most of that is subjective, people just suck sometimes. All day and not a word or funny look, even had some joggers smile as I rode by a few times, then a couple whackos throw a wrench in it. Oh the fragile web I weave... Have to think about something else, lots of things to do today.