I've finally started seeing a therapist (yay!) who is helping me understand myself and what I've been going through.  It scares the hell out of me - I thought for sooooo many years that this was something I could just enjoy in private that would never need to come to the surface, but I can see the effect it has had on other parts of my life (addictions and relationships).  I'm going to try to figure out where I fit in the gender spectrum and what I want to do about it while recognizing that I have a wife and two young kids.  It's nice to find such a supportive group here at Susans and I'm sure I'll be spending more time here. 

Angela.

Yep, it can get spooky once you fall out of, or are kicked out of the closet.

I recall my own mental dialogue, going: "I am a woman... that can't be!... Yes, but I AM! Bull ->-bleeped-<- just drop IT, shut up!!! I can't, that's who I am! No! That's nuts! Yes, but it is... etc. etc.

This went on until I was ready to throw up or do what ever would get me out of this situation. The clear alternative --- BIG checkout. I chose transition.

So here I am 1 1/2 years later, 3 weeks to SRS, and 40 years of trying to avoid the inevitable.

Life moves forward --- THAT can be scary in deed.

Welcome to the world, :-)
Axelle

Hi Angela, welcome to Susans! You're part of the family now, pull up a chair! Hugs, Tracey