Now You've Had Your SRS... It's time to Get Over It and Move On with Your Life...

http://womenborntranssexual.com/2011/09/05/now-youve-had-your-srs-its-time-to-get-over-it-and-move-on-with-your-life/
9/5/11
By Suzan

One of the big lies pushed by both the Transgender Borg Collective and Transgender Inc. is that  the Doctors warned us as pre-ops not to hang out with other sisters and to never ever have other sisters as friends after SRS.

The first part of that proposition  is obviously contradicted by the existence of transsexual peer support groups run by and for pre-op transsexual women that actively worked with various medical professionals.

We were the ones who generated the advice that if you were in the process of changing your sex from male to female perhaps it might be a good idea to actually associate with assigned female at birth women.  After all you don't really learn about being a woman from drag queens or even other transsexual folks who are going through the same process you are.

Read this article earlier today and I'm not ashamed to admit... I liked it.  Lots.  It was nice to see my recent thoughts about my own life and my own future written out in this way.

So... I'll bet you're all asking what I'm doing here, eh?

This is how I can give back.  I love helping people, I love assuring people of better tomorrows, and I especially love talking to others.  I'm a people person!  And I volunteer one afternoon a week (two if I can) at my local gender identity center.  I enter some data for grant purposes, answer the phone when it rings (usually once or twice every few days), and I'm working on an annotated bibliography of journal articles related to transsexualism.  It's an easy way to give my time, get some experience in a clinical setting (which is all that kept me out of grad school), keep my psychology skills up to date, and help people who need help!

But outside of that?  I don't go to groups anymore.  Part of the reason is that I feel like I'm no longer in that mindset, and the other part is that I don't have the money.  I don't want to immerse myself in transsexualism.

Wait a minute, Zoë, aren't you the one who's been publicly flipping out lately about body issues?

Yes.  I won't deny it.  But really, I'm stressed out about my finances.  I'm stressed out about my lack of a job.  I'm stressed out because every day without a job is a day further from having the ultimate freedom that SRS will bring.  Other trans issues?  I'm not concerned about passing any more.  I'm not concerned about coming out.  I'm not concerned about going full time.  I've done all that and I'm 100% confident in my identity as a woman.  A woman who still needs a certain life-changing surgery, but a woman nonetheless.

I lost my sense of identifying as transsexual months ago.  To me, transsexual is a description of a condition, as well as a journey.  And once a journey ends, it's time to start a new one.  Trans(anything) is not my identity and it's not a place where I want to live.  When I finally make it to grad school to become a therapist, I plan to study personality, giftedness, or eating disorders.  I have no ambition to become a gender therapist, despite what I hear from practicing therapists that I'd make a lot of money because many of their transsexual clients express interest in seeing someone who's been down that road.  But once my journey is over, once I wake up in the body I should have had from day 1, I'm not sure I'd want to go back down that road.

You know, all of my life, I've had three male friends.  Two of them I met in high school, the other is the husband of someone I was friends with before she even met him.  Now that I've mentally transitioned, I'm having a hard time identifying or talking to two of my male friends, namely the two from high school.  My other friend is so far off the gender spectrum that his mother still wonders if he's a closeted transsexual.  Other than that, all of my friends have always been girls and women.  Since transition, I've become incredibly close to all of them.  They embraced me so fully and immediately wanted to teach me everything they've ever learned about the woman's world.  I don't think I'd have come so far in such a short time if it weren't for them.

And yet, their company and their guidance made me fully realize how much happier I was living an ordinary woman's life, one where I completely shed the trappings of years spent hiding my true nature.  The liberation I felt when I realized it was amazing, allowing myself to act on those feelings was priceless.

So does this make me some sort of elitist?  I don't really care.  And the reason I don't care is because I care so deeply for others.  I know that people who want to brand me an elitist don't really know me.  And yet I don't hate them because I think hate is a useless emotion.  I feel pity for them that they lack inner peace and have to attack others to feel better.

These are my true feelings, put out in public for the first time because I don't feel like bottling them up anymore.  Does it change what I do around these forums or how I treat others?  Not one iota.

don't give up you so much you can still give in helping others. its a battle to stay mentally focus it can run you down. remember you here others on susan's place are alwaying willing to hear you out.

Quote from: Valeriedances on September 06, 2011, 08:10:05 PM
The good news is there is a cure, there is hope. We can correct our bodies and move forward in life. It can be done with a good savings plan, a loan, a good bonus for some. It is less of a car loan than many cars. It can be done with a 5 or 3 year plan. Your dysphoria with your body can be gone forever. Many have done it, many more will someday as they plan their future. Have hope.

Thank you, Valerie!  And you too, Ray!

Not having a corrected body is both killing me and motivating me.  I just want it right this second but I know that's not possible.  And so I'm motivated to work hard enough to make it a reality.  The loan idea is one I hadn't really thought about!  If I could just get a job (or two) that pays me enough to qualify, I'd qualify without problem.  Just two months ago a bank teller audibly said "Wow!" when she saw my credit score. lol

You and I always seem to be on the same wavelength, Zoe.  I can't really go where that article went, and the tone of it bothers me, but what you wrote above is essentially me, though I don't think I ever self-identified as transsexual.  Being transsexual seems more like a condition to me, or possibly a process that you go through, not an identity.  At least not one that I can identify with.  The only thing where I vary is that if I were to be a therapist I am pretty sure I would be fully open to counseling trans people.

Anyway, the premise that having a circle of female friends is helpful with transitioning into the woman's world is absolutely correct.  In fact I would say it's kind of required.