As you know I am Male to Female Trans , and I am trying to move toward having surgery.  My therapist wants me to write a one page paper about why I am Emotionally ready for Surgery , SRS. I know I am ready for surgery but I am not sure where to start this paper , I am not sure what to write. So I am asking for the help of this community, about what she means by this question / topic.

I know I am ready to have surgery because living as a woman brings me neverending happiness. I feel like I matter , and I feel very good about the way I look. Transitioning give my life meaning and saved my life.

I don't know if this is in the right place , but I think this fits here.

One of the points you could put in that paper, could be "The only reason I want surgery is so that I can function as any other normal female in society."  I was born a female, always have been a female and always will be.

The reasons you have mentioned are also very good specifically and I quote:

Quote from: AprilAero on September 07, 2011, 06:56:32 PMI know I am ready to have surgery because living as a woman brings me never ending happiness. I feel like I matter , and I feel very good about the way I look. Transitioning give my life meaning and saved my life.

Other reasons can be:

• I mentioned to my second psychiatrist was "regardless of what my genes are they will still be the same regardless of whether I have surgery or not" or something similar.
• I know that if I have surgery then I know that the surgery is irreversible and this is what I want with all my heart.
• I know that I will never change my mind about.

I'm sure others will come along soon and maybe offer better suggestions.  Take care and all the best for the future.

Warmest regards
Sarah B

Quote from: Sarah B on September 07, 2011, 08:35:07 PM
One of the points you could put in that paper, could be "The only reason I want surgery is so that I can function as any other normal female in society."  I was born a female, always have been a female and always will be.

The reasons you have mentioned are also very good specifically and I quote:

Other reasons can be:

• I mentioned to my second psychiatrist was "regardless of what my genes are they will still be the same regardless of whether I have surgery or not" or something similar.
• I know that if I have surgery then I know that the surgery is irreversible and this is what I want with all my heart.
• I know that I will never change my mind about.

I'm sure others will come along soon and maybe offer better suggestions.  Take care and all the best for the future.

Warmest regards
Sarah B

thank you for your help , I had hoped that more people would have replied.

Your welcome.  I was wrong about others coming along and making suggestions, oh well thats life.

A few more thoughts that you can consider, along the longs the lines of "what SRS will not do for you"

• SRS will not solve all your body image problems
• SRS will not solve all you sexual problems
• SRS will not make you into someone else
• SRS will not provide you with a perfect community

Thoughts on "Are you ready"

• Do you have a solid sense of your gender identity
• Enough mental stability to make an informed decision about your medical care.
• Enough skills and supports to withstand the typical stresses of SRS.

Finally, have you considered, what do I do if I regret surgery?

Warm regards
Sarah B

I think show that you have realistic expectations about what surgery will and will not accomplish for you, as in the points Sarah laid out above.

Ask yourself why exactly you want to have this surgery.  How do you personally feel about it? What if you are never able to have another orgasm, does that cause you hesitation? Though I never had to write such a paper, I do remember going through all these questions in my mind to be sure it was right for me.  I did intense soul searching, trying to determine as much as I could what my heart was telling me.  At every turn, my heart told me it was exactly right for me, and was in fact the healing I had needed my entire life.  How can I explain this?  It just "felt right" all the way to the core of my being.  Maybe don't write the paper as if you are writing it for your therapist, but as though you are writing it to yourself, and tell yourself why you think it is right and you are emotionally prepared.

Best wishes and success

~Chloe

Look at it backwards--Why should I NOT have surgery?

     It shouldn't be because I don't have a job,  because I have a nice career where I'm accepted and respected as the female I am.

     It shouldn't be because I haven't fulfilled the RLE, because I've been functioning as my true self for over __ months.  By the time my surgery date comes up, I'll be well over a year.

      It shouldn't be because I can't live with my past, as I regularly attend alumni events at my alma mater as myself.

     And so on, as it suits you.   

I would agree with what Chloe said:

Quote from: FairyGirl on September 09, 2011, 04:17:09 AMI did intense soul searching, trying to determine as much as I could what my heart was telling me.  At every turn, my heart told me it was exactly right for me, and was in fact the healing I had needed my entire life.  How can I explain this?  It just "felt right" all the way to the core of my being.  Maybe don't write the paper as if you are writing it for your therapist, but as though you are writing it to yourself, and tell yourself why you think it is right and you are emotionally prepared.

Unlike Chloe though, I never did any soul searching in regards to my issues or even considered that surgery was what I needed.  Like Chloe, I was never asked to write or research anything.  However, if I was to put something down, I would certainly mention the following feelings or thoughts.  No matter what I did in my day to day living, I never questioned what I did, I never hesitated in what I did, I never said "what if" and most important thing of all, if I did anything in regards to my issues, I was always happy in doing so and I never ever regretted doing the things I did.  Why was I like this?  The answer lies with what Chloe said, "It always felt right" and this feeling is what resonated so deeply within in me, in my heart and in my mind.

I only ever once thought, "what if I made a mistake?"  In a few seconds I said to myself "I will live with the consequences and I will not blame anyone else for what I did".  This is a person who virtually knew nothing about hormones, about the scene, about therapy or about the surgery techniques.

No matter what you decide to do, if it makes you happy then do it.  Take care, look after yourself and all the best for the future.

Warm regards
Sarah B