When I identified as genderqueer, it was a fairly fluid place to me. I saw the gender binary, but picked and chose between the traits there to better fit who I was. I wasn't putting on a performance or trying to be political. I was just using binary gendered language to describe different aspects of myself.
When I stopped doing that, I became much more comfortable identifying as androgyne. At that point, I stopped viewing different aspects of my personality or behavior as "masculine" or "feminine." They just are. I'm not some mystical blend of arbitrary gender concepts. I'm me. I have whatever gender exists outside of culture and societal prescription.
Since the terms are fairly fluid and may be applied in multiple ways, though, I don't much worry about what they might mean to other people. They're just words. Words can't encompass the reality of a human.
-Lepidoptera
We are the Gender Outlaws. We are the free people who refuse to bow to the rigidity of historical gender rules.
-Laurry
Perhaps the most important thing we bring to another person is the silence in us, not the sort of silence that is filled with unspoken criticism or hard withdrawal. The sort of silence that is a place of refuge, of rest, of acceptance of someone as they are. We are all hungry for this other silence. It is hard to find. In its presence we can remember something beyond the moment, a strength on which to build a life. Silence is a place of great power and healing.
~Rachel Naomi Remen
Re: Shedding some light
« Reply #47
Quote
Having read the whole thread today (for the first time), I have a short answer, and a long answer.
Short version: Androgyne is an umbrella term to describe anyone who does not identify as a male or a female.
Long version: There is an infinite variety of the way people perceive their gender. Most people, if you ask them, will say "I'm a male (boy, man, guy, dude, etc.)," others "I'm a female (girl, woman, princess, goddess, etc.)". These people are known as binary gendered people...they are one or the other. There are some people, however, who do not feel they fit so neatly in those two categories. They may be a mix of male and female (to varying degrees), both at the same time, neither, or their gender identities may float around all over the place. The people who aren't male or female are androgynes. There are as many sub-divisional categories of androgynes as there are people.
We all have a story to tell about how we came to understand that we weren't male or female. Most are very interesting and, amazingly enough, have a lot of points in common regardless of how we identify themselves.
A certain amount of irreverence seems to be another common trait. When one has spent a great deal of energy fighting against the societal pressure to conform to a male/female binary, a disregard of the gender rules inevitably follows. This also tends to spill over into many other areas of our lives. I tend to follow most of the rules of society that will keep me employed and out of jail, but generally consider the rest of them to be open to twisting, bending or breaking if the mood strikes me.
With the struggles to understand ourselves AND trying to explain why we aren't boys or girls, humor is a major coping mechanism. Given the choice to be in a constant state of rage over the injustice of being forced into a gender role that simply doesn't fit, or laughing at oneself and the incredible lengths people go to try to enforce "proper gender behavior", I'll take the laughter.
That doesn't mean there isn't still anger and frustration. Of course there is. But one gets so tired of fighting everyone. It's not that they are bad people, they simply don't understand. They can't comprehend the fact that we are happy outside the bounds of gender rules...and, truth be told, maybe just a little jealous.
Having finally cast off the roles and expectations of being a male, why in the world would I want to be subservient to the rules of being female? We are the Gender Outlaws. We are the free people who refuse to bow to the rigidity of historical gender rules. We are full of sh*t, and proud of it.
And yes, one does eventually reach the point of saying "F it". My "F it" response is usually followed by "This is who I am. If you don't like it, tough. You can be my friend, and accept me as I am, or you can go away and never bother me again. I'm not changing"
.....L
Gender has no meaning or value if it is counterfeit.
Counterfeit gender is just a game, a trick, an amusement,
an act, a fraud, a deception, an imitation, artificial, bogus.
Be yourself, not a gender.
Being yourself is effortless and genuine.
Being yourself is REAL, not counterfeit.
In being yourself, in behaving in a manner which is natural to you,
whatever gender you are becomes self-evident.
-Emerald
In any case, relax. It's not the end of the world...it's the beginning.
As you open yourself to possibilities,regardless of whether any of them happen,
you are free to actively chose your direction in life,not just be carried along with the current.
Laurry
All paths in life start in the Androgyn Forest.
The origin of collective thoughts are started by a single Androgyn idea.
The farther away you get from the Androgyn Core, the worse life will get.
-Ativan
This was someones answer when someone else was wanting to find meaning and a point for living.
"It's less of a matter of there not being a point, and more of where that point comes from. The reason people can't find the meaning to life is because they are looking for something other than themselves to give them meaning.
But "meaning" is not an inherent property of the natural world. Meaning is a subjective aspect of intelligence.
If I ask you what "table" means you could give me definitions of what table means, because you have studied the English language. But "table" has no inherent meaning. It has an agreed upon social meaning. When I say "table" you know what it means, because you have agreed beforehand as to what it means.
Life is the same way. It has no inherent meaning. It means whatever you think it does."
-VeryGnawty
*deep breath*
I am an androgyn when I'm dressed in "women's clothes"
I am an androgyn when I'm dressed in "men's clothes"
I am an androgyn when I'm naked.
I don't properly fit in the women's rest room, or the men's rest room.
Part of me fits in a gaggle of women.....but part of me never will.
Part of me fits in a group of men....but part of me doesn't get them at all.
I am an androgyn when I knit, and quilt.
I am an androgyn when I work with wood, and improve my homestead.
I am not an androgyn so I can have the "best of both worlds"
I am an androgyn who lives with both the pros, and the cons; of my gender identity and expression.
I am not an androgyn so I can confuse you, or f**k with your head.
I am an androgyn because it is my identity.
I am an androgyn because it is part of my core.
In fact...my identity has nothing to do with you....and everything to do with me.
I am an androgyn and I'm not confused about that. It's DAMN HARD to own my androgyn identity some days. I'm not taking an easy road...because this *isn't easy*.
I am an androgyn and I was wired for a penis and a vagina....and it doesn't matter how much money I make, or how much I talk it over with my therapist...I will NEVER properly...have the configuration I was wired for.
I am an androgyn....and this journey to be my most core self...has left scars. But it's been worth it. Every step, every choice, every layer of this onion I've removed...it's been worth it.
I am an androgyn.
Written by Sevan 9/12/2011
Modified by Ativan, same day
Those are some of the things that I have collected since I first came to this site.
I have them on my desktop, so I can go through them every so often to try and stay centered.
I hope you find them useful, too.
-Ativan
