As someone born in the Westcountry who still struggles with the 'R's' this is a cruel, cruel thread! Next it will be combine harvester jokes...

Edit: thart should'ave rred combyne 'arrvesterr

Oi'll give you the key, moi loverrrrrr.... (as someone who's spent a fifth of his/her life in the south west, and be now 'appily back in Devon, loike... )

A pirate be in a bar one night with the helm down the front of his pants. The bar maid serves him his rum an' sez, "Do you know you have a helm in your pants?"

And he sez, "Arr, it's drivin' my nuts."

Is that a helm in yer pants, or are ye just pleased to sea me?

How many pirates does it take to wrestle a ferocious sea serpent?

ALL HANDS ON DECK!!! ALL HANDS ON DECK!!!

Arrrrrr, here be a limerick fer all ye semen and landlubbers alike!************I'll be a pirates cutie, but it be me pirate girl duty, to git me fair share, o' that treasure chest there, afore he gets any booty!