you could wear a clown costume, that don't make you a clown
Maybe, but its not a leap of faith to know that most people will treat you as one. People are not going to approach you the same way they would approach a cop or a nun in full Catholic regalia. Which is not always a bad thing. I know a clown, he's been a clown for many decades. He stated off doing it at anti-Vietnam War protests because the cops were reluctant to beat the crap out of a clown least their kids would watch and ask daddy why he was beating the crap out of clowns. But it suited him, and he grew to become that clown. Perhaps the suit makes you. I don't think you could wear a clown suit day in and day out and still be Maggie Thatcher or Dick Cheney. The suit it doesn't grow on you, it grows you.
i don't like being called a femme because I feel like I have many masculine qualities
Yeah, I feel 'ya on that. I know that I always had - and prized, and developed - lots of 'qualities traditionally associated with femininity', but I've been pretty good with being 'one of the boys' most of my life too. I have (also prized and developed) lot's of 'qualities traditionally associated with men'. Perhaps there are times when I went one way when I should have been going the other - my GF tells me 'you need to channel tekla on that' for things she wishes I'd be a little bit less male about. And my guy pals have been known to roll their eyes a lot on things I do, say, and wear - but they never doubt (I'm guessing) the essential 'male' stuff like my work ethic and skills, my 'team player'/loyalty deal, my ability to manage myself and others, that I don't take myself all that seriously, the ability to make a real contribution (being smart), and that I have their back in every way. So sure, I like pink lace underwear, and at times kind be kinda swish, or just an outright bitch - all that 'girl' stuff that guys hate. But my male side took hard-core martial arts for 15 years, and spend 40 years in a pretty highly volatile situations (concerts/clubs) doing security among other duties so I can, and have, handle myself like that. And though I don't like resorting to violence, if pushed (or when you're 'in the group' and one of the group is pushed) I'll be happy to inflict it and brutally too, because that works - if you've gone all the way to violence, then it's no time to stop at halfway measures. But I know many women, who over the years have been part of the 'boys club.' They have those same qualities (they get a pass for fighting - but not for defending) and 'the boys' are down with that.
And, needless to say, there are lots, and lots of males who never make it to 'one of the boys' because they lack that stuff.
But - and 'yet' - despite that male stuff I've always been able to be very comfortable (which is not the critical thing) with women in groups, and women are pretty comfortable with me (which is the important part). I like lots and lots of girls stuff, and female group dynamics. I've never understood why men hate shopping? Shopping with the girls rocks! While it might not be as good as like actually doing sports and drinking, it's better than just hanging out, doing nothing and drinking - and besides all the girls I know have a couple of cocktails or glasses of wine on shopping expeditions. I understand, and really like, the feminine idea of making emotional connections to things as opposed to creating an intellectual and practical knowledge of things, which is the basis for male conversations. Heck, I even know that feminine conversations consist of real conversation and 'sharing' and not a series of grunts, pronouncements, witty bon-mots and crude sexual references and innuendo that men prefer - with sports references and stats blurted out like some Tourette syndrome thing. I understand the female notion of consensus, as opposed to 'leadership,' and work well in that conversation environment. I loved hanging out with my girl friends (not sexual, real friends) in HS and college as they did their nails, and all that make-up, hair, you know, grooming behavior for a better society. Hell, I even got pretty good at doing their nails for them. The difference between men's groups and women's groups is found in very different group dynamic and I never felt like I had to choose, so long as I could do both.
Needless to say, there are/were a lot of females who never get into those clicks/sets deal because they lack some of those key qualities.
So, if you have both, well then its a very happy thing for you to be able to do both. If any of it confuses other people, take comfort in the fact that no matter what you would have done it would have confused those people. And, if you really don't fit in anywhere, then your pretty much free to go everywhere because it's all going to be the same for you. That's a visionary gift if you learn to use it right.
I am confused about what I should call my sexuality... when I say I am omisexual 1st ppl don't know what I am talking about, if I say I am bi instead to make it easier girls get turned off by it majorly. They assume I prefer mean and will leave them for a man...but I actually do prefer women I just have been with all types of people and what really matters to me is the soul and really getting to know someone...
When you say that you are an omnisexual I think beyond human, because that's what it really refers to. I think 'pan' is the new term for bi people who like/love a wider variation of humans. Personally when people inquire about my sexuality (because they always do) I always reply: "I don't know, what did you have in mind?" If they persist beyond that - and believe me, not many do - I say 'Fetish", if they want to know which ones, I tell them "all of them." Either they go away, or you have a new friend - it's a win/win. Although I have to say that when I read "what to call my sexuality" my first thought was 'Ed.'
