I have a question,and I will try to ask without offinding any of you wonderfull people.
But first let me give you a little background on me to help in this question.
I live in a small town in Indiana. I manage a Liquore store.  (here's a hard part, to group all of us ) I've had no experiance with any TG people.
Now remember I wish not to offend anyone.
I had my first meeting with a MTF. She came in to shop and when she walked in it seemed as every on was starring and snickering (made me want to throw all of them out) but I never seen someone so proud and confident about themselve.
She walked in did her shopping ingnored all the snickers smiled the whole time. When she got to the counter even my own employe was smirking. I just smiled at her and told the clerk to askyou forgot to ask HER if SHE would like a bag. When she heard me say HER AND SHE she smile at me and thanked me and left. It was then that the people started to make the jokes and razz me By saying Don't you know a guy in drag when you see one, I said I see a custermer that is makeng a purchess and will get respect just like any other person who walks through this door and I expect my employees to do the same.
My big question I feel that I should have done something to stop all the snickering and shown more support and let her know that she is welcome any time and shop with out fear in my store. Or did me calling Her, she and her was that enough to let her know that she is welcome here.
So to my new MTF friends did I do enough or should I have done more. And how do I show respect with out telling that I am a closet crossdresser myself. I would not care if she only knew but not the other Idiots.


Brandi

I think you did well. The best way to change people's attitudes is by setting a good example.

Dennis

You did everything right.  You acknowleged the appropiate gender.

To have said anything either while she was there or after leaving could have caused the other customers to get defensive attitudes toward their bigotry.

Edit to add:

Respect her right to privacey.  There is nothing worse than to break that barrier.  Bringing up your situation would just not be appropiate.  The only time would be if she brings the subject up herself.

I learned to acknowlege the appropiate gender from reading the posts here>
Thank all you for all the help.

Brandi

Bravo Brandi, you did good. If you haven't read this yet then you should It will help a lot. I usually give a copy to friends who ask what they should do or say.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,455.0.html


Cassie

QuoteI think you did well. The best way to change people's attitudes is by setting a good example.

I totally agree. Plus she overheard you referring to her in the correct pronouns, which to me would cause me to come back since you were trans-friendly. Even if other customers weren't comfortable, you as the store manager are, and thats enough for me.

Does your store have nomination forms for employee of the month?

Brandi,

You did well.  From all of us, thank you.

Chaunte

Hi Brandi -

Last week, I WAS EXACTLY that girl in the store, here where I live....

A local county Liqour store employee treated me with the same level of real kindness and respect, and even gave me one of the very best compliments on my hair and makeup that ive ever had - EVER - amongst a crowd of what I will call "classless" or at very least, clueless, onlookers... 

He was cute, well spoken, and well mannered, and it left me walking out feeling even taller, more confident, more beautiful, and a gazillion times happier than when I walked in.. And I DID walk in feeling superperfectbeautifulconfident already that day... 
I left there floating on clouds which actually have lasted since then and have even gone back in there since, just because of him - - and I knew I was totally smokin' that day - as I was dressed to kill and going to a small party that evening...

I had to respond to this as I read it (your post) because how such RLE/RLT affects all of us that have to deal with being out in the public eye with any regularity -

From both sides - when I'm feeling good, and pretty, self confident, well dressed(always as much as possible), proud, and at all times always treating all others I have contact with, with grace, love, smiles, respect and dignity, no matter how they may act or react to me face to face or otherwise - We just cant let it get to us (or show it) because we know its ALWAYS there, that's when we really begin to lose all the ground we've gained internally, as well as the fact that if others like this see that they're actually having a negative effect on us, then it gives them all the power instead of us being able to claim every single speck and drop of it back for our own hearts...

I think from what you described, you did an utterly excellent thing, and amongst your employees and possibly even some customers, set the true example of acceptance and compassion for a fellow human being, no matter what they may have looked like on the outside - This will sometimes have a real affect on people, especially if they see that you really take it deadly serious and arent willing to play games and go along with their rude, shallow minded, and classless presumptiveness...

You may have actually made one or two of them really think for a moment (one can only hope) - and after all, as you said, She was a paying customer, regardless - and that customer, no matter how she looks, IS still paying THEIR salaries, THEIR bills, and putting food on THEIR tables whether they like it or not - maybe next time they could use a little reminder along those lines as well....

A human being - just like all the rest, just like them - just looking "different", as she feels she must express herself, no matter the risks... Just like me, just like all of us here, in one way or another, once we've actually come out into the public view...

All too often, because of the countless forms of long standing "social bigotry" still so deeply ingrained in so many people, they will laugh, s->-bleeped-<-, whisper, comment, steal looks and glances for their personal entertainment or whatever - just because they think that they actually know something about Me, or her, or the particular person in question - someone like us - when in fact, they are only still engagaing in the lowest form of social interchange by continually judging books by their covers without even the slightest clue as to the real contents of that particular book -

I think you did real good  - almost entirely perfect in fact - and it literally makes my heart leap with joy when I read your post. Thank you deeply and dearly, if only more people could be as truly loving, respectful, willing to learn, and come to real truthful terms with things like this - It would be truly miraculous...

Lovingly always,
Love forever,

Most Sincerely,


ChefAnnagirl

Wel done Brandi,

I agree with the others challeging them would not have achieved anything but setting a good example to the weak minded can.

Shelley