I would have loved to be born my "true" gender. My life would have been different. In my religious culture, I would have been allowed to pursue my artistic interests more instead of getting an engineering degree to put food on the table. I would definitely have been a musician, probably teaching somewhere by now and playing my heart out in local venues. I'm sure that I would not have married and would be a tom boy to the max.

But would I be happier? I don't know. I have this problem with depression and it runs through my whole family. We worry about every detail of every event in our lives. And when there is nothing major to worry about, we pick up on the ittie bitty stuff to engross our attention. I can tell you for sure that I would'nt have had GID problems. Perhaps that all by itself would have made me happier in my childhood.

Cindi

I don't know what religous culture you're talking about but MOST religions would have you stop your artistic pursuits to have kids and take care of hubby. Unless you want to start a family at aged 40 which is pretty old imo (and if hubby lets you lol )

Quote from: espo on September 29, 2011, 11:40:41 AM
I don't know what religous culture you're talking about but MOST religions would have you stop your artistic pursuits to have kids and take care of hubby. Unless you want to start a family at aged 40 which is pretty old imo (and if hubby lets you lol )

I am at peace with God.  It is people that create conflict.  I adored dad and he was military, homophobic tough.  He worked hard, was honest, was generous but had minimal sensitivity.  My dad was brutal to my sister whose life partner is a girl.  Would I have liked girls sexually if I were born a girl?  Maybe not but my wife was my best friend as a male.

As Cindy said depression runs in her family.  It runs in mine too.

God is totally comfortable with variations in nature; it is our society that has a problem.

............................
Actually it is today that gives me problems.  I seem paralyzed with analysis.  Dr. Wayne Dyer said something similar to this: I rather approve of myself and have others disapprove of me as opposed to disapprove of myself and have other approve of me.

Changing ones gender is very stressful and should warrant empathy not condemnation.

Maybe we can benefit from our life's experiences and be better?

Agreed Wendy.  I am religious myself, but have no patience for people whose idea of deity is a nasty fellow who creates "flawed" people, blames them for what they are, and requires them to deny their nature and/or beg forgiveness for being what they are. 

No god worth caring about is so petty and twisted. I prefer to think of the universe as a cool experimental art project, and we are supposed to be as varied and interesting as it suits us to be.

opposite...nah, I got nothin'...

Ativan

Quote from: Zythyra on September 27, 2011, 04:43:02 PM
To the best of my knowledge, I wasn't born intersex, however many years ago, I had a dream in which I saw my "true self", and in that dream my body was a mix of female and male. It was a profound moment in my realization of my androgynous nature.

Z

interesting. i had a dream like that too once, male and female genitalia, but i think with male secondary sex characteristics. not that i realized much from it, it just made me wonder wth i had a dream like that, even though i probably already knew that i'd rather have an intersex body

A bit hard for me to answer the question as posed, because my body is in the middle, so I can only comment on which way I should like to go.  Would I like to be a big strong macho man, or a soft and understanding girl?  Temptation is to say I'd go for the man, because for most ordinary living, that's what I am, but I think I could get along as a fully-fledged girl OK. But the truth is that what I am now I'm  perfectly happy with, and I dont think I'd be any happpier either way. This, of course is helped by my living and working in an environment where I'm accepted.

Now you just need to accept yourself and accept the changes as life goes on.

Ativan

Late, but that's all right.

Assuming I'd have the same brain and thought process, I'd be way happier in a male body.  It would be easier just to be a gay guy than being a gay guy in a female body (that I don't hate, which makes it even more complicated).  BUT I have a little brother and if that's what being male would have made me, no thanks.  The tall and skinny thing would be nice though. 

Probably... Uhhhh... I'm with Ativan, I got nothing.

I'd think that me just not rambling on about an opposite body would have earned a few applauds.....But I still got nothin'.

With eyes of good intentions upon me,
Ativan

(I know this is an old topic, but this is something I've been thinking about a lot lately.)

Note: I'm a neutrois. I hate the idea of being any form of 'cis'.

I wish, so badly, that I was CAMAB instead of CAFAB. This body is just...wrong. I know that as a CAMAB trans person, I would be more discriminated against than as a CAFAB one, but this is just...wrong, having these hips that I can't hide, and all this stuff...

Plus, I identify as asexual, but I have a very high sex drive and I'm completely obsessed with the idea of sex-the main reason why I identify as asexual is because the idea of having sex with a vagina, the estrogen-dominant style of orgasms, and generally all of that, on MY body, is absolutely repulsive to me. Even using dildos, or having had meta/phallo (which has terrible results anyway), just wouldn't work. It's CAMAB or bust. I turned out CAFAB, so I basically have to abstain from sex my whole life.

I don't know. I'd probably be a massive Tom-boy, but I would have probably had a better relationship with men.  I've always envied the androgynous looking girls who have really slim figures, short hair cuts and that kind prebuscent boy kinda look.  On the other hand it would probably still have been just as difficult to have to go against societal norms of femininity as it is for men to go against norms of masculinity. 

I highly doubt I'd be happy in a male body.  I'd be happy in a body that's a mixture of both or gender neutral.  I'm not a fan of the sexual organs of either sex and I'd be much happier without.  Sex has a bit of bearing since I can't imagine having sex with a woman as a man -- the penis portion just repulses me.

If I was born male instead of female, I don't think much would have changed. I would have probably experimented with shorter hairstyles earlier because my sister wouldn't have been mad at me for "copying" her. I can't really say what a change in hormones would do, but I suspect I would have less migraines. Maybe it would have been more acceptable for me to be friends with the boys in elementary school and therefore, wouldn't have gone through the problems I had with girls, but there's no guarantee the guys wouldn't have turned out the same way. Either way, I was teased by both genders for being a weirdo and I doubt that would change.
There are more resources for females leaving abusive situations than there are for abused males though. For that, I am grateful.

I think I would have been happier as a male. I am repulsed by my female body and hope to get surgery when the option is available. However, I still think I would be androgyne and probably happier as that. Nothing will change the gender of my 'soul' whatever body it is in. It's just me. But at least in a male body I would have the constant self-loathing and challenge of hiding my body as much as possible.

I've asked myself this not long ago.
I am born in a female body. I identify as androgyn. But I lean towards the masculine side and I want to transition towards a more masculine look.
If I were born in a male body, I would probably still feel androgyn, but I would not seek transitioning. I think that I would start to accept my male genitals the way I currently accept my female genitals: I'd rather have none, but since it is there and I got used to it after my whole life so far, so I have decided to keep them.
So yes, I think I would be happier if I were born as a male.

Absolutely. My mom would still piss me off though...

Happier?

Hard to say. I mean a lot of the problems I have now would be different if I had a woman's body. I would be able to relate to people in a way that is more natural to me - more "what's been going on" less "how they hangin'". I'd be able to experience things that my current body doesn't allow, like giving birth or nursing a baby.

On the other hand, who knows what problems I'd have that I don't have now. There are elements of my personality that are distinctly male. I don't care about clothes, shopping, decorating, etc., things that are traditionally (but not universally) female. Would I feel like a fish out of water in that body too.

I think I'm kind of hopelessly stuck with one leg on one side and one on the other. Neither way feels exactly right, though if I were starting from scratch, I think I'd choose to be a woman next time round.

Great Question!

I think it's a great question, and one we've all asked ourselves at some point.

Were I born as a straight GG I doubt I'd have known the difference, and I would have likely been one of those unremarkably average people.

If there is one thing I truly appreciate that being intersexed and trans has taught me, it is my tolerance toward others.

Whenever I dissaprove of someone, even a religious nut who HATES people like us, I find myself empathising and really understanding that were I looking through their eyes I'd likely think the same thing.

The converse, however, is not true: That person will not put themselves in my shoes and try to understand me because they lack the life experiences that would have them reaching to understand. No, instead they live in a dark world of negativity and hatred toward things different.

I TRULY pity those types, and I feel they are all but missing the ENTIRE point of life!

In other words, as painful as it is to admit, I think I'd rather have this lovely open mind and beautiful mindset...and face these difficulties...than be an unremarkable dullard with no frame of reference toward accepting others because their own personal acceptance came so easy.

That said there are queer types who also practice hatred and closed-mindedness, and those are the real morons in my opinion because they were given a unique oppourtunity to understand that not everyone is the same, and that not everyone "chooses" who they are (really who does?)...and yet they still blew it!

In the end the question is only an exercise, and not something to really get caught up in. We are here today, and we are who we are, so the best thing we can do is use that experience to better ourselves.

Gosh did that that even make any sense?