Well, my S.O. has seen her first bit of discrimination against people who wish to live outside of the normal gender divide.

We went to a cookie cutter hair place on Tuesday ($10 haircuts), mostly for her but she said she wanted me to get my hair cut also. She said I would look good with layers and wanted to have it feathered back instead of the "you haven't cut your hair in 5 years" look. My hair comes down to the middle of my shoulder blades dry and below when it's wet, outside of a widows peak I haven't lost much hair yet.

We ended up each getting our own lady to do the work and when mine asked me what I wanted my S.O. told her what to do. Right away my stylest said "can't do that. HE (was a bit snotty about that) would lose to much hair and wouldn't be able to tie it back anymore." I told the lady "oh that's OK, just clean up the split ends" and 6 snips later I was out $10.

The lady working on my S.O. took her back to get a shampoo and I went outside to smoke. Once she was done and we got back into the car my S.O. said her stylest said that was wrong and I had more then enough hair to do just about anything I wanted. My S.O.'s stylest even said she would bring it up with the manager.

My S.O. couldn't believe it though. I had told her in the past that these things will happen to me all the time if I choose to transition and I just have to live with it. She hasn't spoken to me about it since then but I know it's on her mind. She hasn't ever experienced that kind of discrimination before let alone have it happen to me right in front of her eyes.

I would have loved to get something done to my hair, but with how I have to present myself in public it most likely would have caused issues. So, no hair off my... Oh wait... I kinda want the hair off my chest.

Nvm.   

That is really messed up, but no surprising at the same time. I can appreciate the need to keep up appearance in public. I work full-time and can't afford to loose this job. Because of my hours, I'm lucky to not pretend to be a guy maybe a couple days a month. It sucks to have to go through that, but I can appreciate the stoic attitude you take. There are many things we can't control, but how we allow ourselves to deal with situations, is one.

I had a similar experience at a local hair place but was alone at the time... Not sure why, but they've been out of business and the the place has been up for lease for a few years now... Perhaps I wasn't the only one to get mistreated there

My sorry, but I have to be a bitch here.  You are paying that tramp to cut your hair your way, not listen to her lip.  Report her to the manager and DEMAND a refund or TWO, yes two free cuts.  That or lose their license.

Quote from: Irish Janet on September 27, 2011, 11:05:16 PM
My sorry, but I have to be a bitch here.  You are paying that tramp to cut your hair your way, not listen to her lip.  Report her to the manager and DEMAND a refund or TWO, yes two free cuts.  That or lose their license.

She's right.
Is it a family business? That's what it sounds like, most of the cutters don't even have a license...
at least that's in my poor ghetto area lol.

Still, you had an oppurtunity to make a scene and get a refund for their horrible service, you might have a chance to bring up your dilemma to the manager if you go back tomorrow.

I have been terrorized by salon people one too many times when specifically asking to get "about a half inch" off and 15 minutes later a year of hair growth will be gone. Last trim I got was actually a trim, fortunately, though it was more than I asked to have taken off still. I am wary about getting my hair cut again before I am full time because I just don't trust stylists to not go crazy and keep it long. I am just extra careful to not cause any split ends.

Once you are paying for a service you control it.

I would totally complain to the manager, to the franchisees. the lot. I would go as far as threatening  to sue.

I apologise for this but was the person rude to both of you or to the 'TG' partner only? In which case it is blatant sexual harassment.

Cindy

Quote from: Cindy James on September 28, 2011, 05:06:45 AM
Once you are paying for a service you control it.

I would totally complain to the manager, to the franchisees. the lot. I would go as far as threatening  to sue.

I apologise for this but was the person rude to both of you or to the 'TG' partner only? In which case it is blatant sexual harassment.

Cindy

I wouldn't say she was rude (well, outside of not wanting to do the hair cut) except for the emphasis on HE (meaning me) would lose to much hair, but she kept the conversation to a "professional" level when it came down to cutting my hair after she "suggested" that the hair cut wouldn't work. In total I'd say I spent 5 minutes in the chair, most of the time was spend recommending a defining cream to help keep my hair from getting wild on me through out the day. There was no small talk or smiles, after hearing about people losing a lot of hair during just a trim I'm at least glad she didn't go all Chuck Norris on my length though.

Before I was passing, I lost a year of growth due to an hairstylist deciding for herself I was better off with a masculine haircut. That is the reason I went full time with shortish hair.

I suppose we have to be very careful with our hairstylist choices.

That's terrible!  Your paying her to cut it the way you want! What is it her business how you want it, she's getting paid. She should just do her job and get paid and not let her opinions get in the way! If iit ended up too short to tie back oh well,  you asked for it!

so sad, many stylists are good people and those kind give all a bad name.

Don't be a victim. Don't just let someone discriminate against you without a word. Sure, if your safety is an issue, be smart.... but, otherwise, make them think twice before they decide to pull something like that again.

You don't deserve to be treated that way...so DEMAND better.

Quote from: Rabbit on September 28, 2011, 08:14:07 PM
Don't be a victim. Don't just let someone discriminate against you without a word. Sure, if your safety is an issue, be smart.... but, otherwise, make them think twice before they decide to pull something like that again.

You don't deserve to be treated that way...so DEMAND better.

I remember about 10 or 11 years ago I went to one hairdresser I wasn't happy with so I just walked out before they started cutting my hair. When you go to hairdressers you need to be the person in control at all times. After all you are paying them to do a job therefor they should be doing the work exactly the way you want it done. If they don't comply just walk out! you have every right to do so.

Well I would see the manager about it, but fortunately she didn't "mis-cut" . I have always liked to try and get away with longer hair before I told my mum (now she doesn't fight it when I say I'm growing my hair out) but I have experienced where I said I wanted a trim so that the hair grows out more stylized manner, the lady then proceeds to cut my hair but at the end I when I get up to see the handy work... most of my hair was gone, and she tells me shes sorry but she "misc-cut" and then fixed it so that it'd still grow out ok. from 4.5 inches in the back roughly 2 -_-

Well in my case, I only noticed she was cutting too much of my hair once it was too late. I ended up with a good cut, but too short and masculine. I don't quite pinpoint it to discrimination in my case, since I was presenting as a guy and she did give me a good male haircut.

Of course, I had specifically asked for her to NOT cut it short 

Anyway, I just didn't go there again, My current hairstylist rules so it worked well in the end.

We went to a cookie cutter hair place on Tuesday ($10 haircuts)

That was your first mistake.  You get what you pay for.  Good stylists make 3 to 4 times that, great ones even more.  Hell my barber charges almost twice that.

Quote from: tekla on September 29, 2011, 01:25:03 PM
We went to a cookie cutter hair place on Tuesday ($10 haircuts)

That was your first mistake.  You get what you pay for.  Good stylists make 3 to 4 times that, great ones even more.  Hell my barber charges almost twice that.

well not to derail the topic at hand but I don't believe things are always judged by pricing, true it'sa indication but not the end all be all of if something is good or bad, I get charged 8-12 on my cuts and the women there does a great job. While I have spent 25 on a cut that was fairly simple an the person still managed to screw up the side.

I tend to have good experiences with better quality salons.  I'm not sure why, but people there tend to be much more open and understanding whether I'm in girl or boy mode.

Quote from: Bird on September 29, 2011, 01:03:26 PM
Well in my case, I only noticed she was cutting too much of my hair once it was too late. I ended up with a good cut, but too short and masculine. I don't quite pinpoint it to discrimination in my case, since I was presenting as a guy and she did give me a good male haircut.

I suppose you have less of a case if you are presenting as male and get a male haircut?maybe you should try presenting as female instead? and then you might get a more feminine cut!

I'm in a middle place here, not 100% full-time (work) so I have to maintain the "HE" hair cut regs, it's on the longish side so I can do bangs and a little spike on top but my super rides my rear sometimes about it LOL