My transition is open but I'm not sure it was something I wante to start with. Married with five kids being open is not an option.  It just is what is. Having a big family outside wife and kids added up. I was the guy that did not want people know I'm there. I hated getting attention from people. But there is something that I do like teaching people something they don't know. Some people are educators and some are not. I'm not better because I do and the other is not any less because they don't. I want to pass true and one day I will but not for everyone else only for me. I'm not transitioning to fit in. I'm transitioning to be me.
My son told another person to day about me being transdered. Her response to him shocked him. She ask is your dad f2m or m2f. He said to me that he could not believe that someone knew what he was talking about because everyone else it had to be explained. My life that I have lived has an efect on my transition to me it is positive. Why? Because others can change too. But change comes when people realize they need to. I'm not that guy that sits alone. I am a person that want to be seen as she is and not as they want. The way that I present myself should tell them how I see myself. Police, fire men, army, nurses,doctors and so on are idetified by what they wear. Why can't we be to? Respect is needed.

As you taught me God sees the heart. people see the appearence. People judge and god loves us

The one thing about it being open helps people to relate and better understand. My friend at work said he hopes as I get further along that I don't get offended if he has trouble using she and her because he has only knew me as a guy.

I used to be called marty about 15 years ago than I started using my first name James. Everyone had this same truoble just with my name. It had nothing to do with my gender but people can't help it sometimes.

I went back to using marty at work because it is used between both genders. Marty=Mardy. What I hope to gain from this is to better understand myself and that people here at Susan's can learn from it. It is good to learn how to pass but what if you don't and the chance to pass seems so far away. I still would like to live my life the way I want to and be happy just like everyone else does. we all should be able to live happy. so far maybe one person might think it look funny. what's that in a mall full of people that don't seem to care what you look like. People get used to thing that don't look normal to them over time. again normal here is not to look normal at all you shoud see some of the things I have.