So my mom goes to a therapist regularly and asked if she or anyone else in the building worked with gender. None of them did, but the woman did say that they could have someone go through past events with me to see if they were the cause of my problems. It wouldn't cost much (maybe about $10 or so per session), but I'm feeling kind of iffy on the whole thing. It doesn't sound like it would hurt at all, but at the same time there's something in the back of my head saying, "Don't do it!"

I don't know, maybe I'm just paranoid. I figured I would ask on here just in case. So should I try this until I can find/afford a gender therapist?

I think it would be a waste of time and money, given that it's generally accepted that we are born this way. Even before I worked out precisely what was 'wrong' with me, I knew I was different from the boys I associated with.. Then at age 12 I worked it out - and promptly jammed that idea in the deepest, darkest corner of my mind - only to have it come back and bite me last year.. I'm trans, always have been and, despite what some around here will say, always will be.. Past events in my life have nothing to do with it.

If it's looking at past lives, then in might make more sense (if you believe in past lives) - but in this life, it only makes "sense" to someone who thinks you "became this way" in the first place, rather than accepting that you just are. So it could be very undermining. I'd steer well clear of it, and if you're going to get therapy, just find someone with a good head on their shoulders who you feel comfortable with and who can work with who you are and who you want to become.

Sounds to me like she wants to see what made you this way and find a cure. Find a gender therapist and don't waste your money on this person.

It's mostly that my mom wants to make sure that nothing "caused" it. She also wanted a blood test done on me to see if my hormonal levels are right. I don't blame her to be honest, but I'm not sure how much help any of those would actually be.

I think I'll avoid doing this for now. I have a job now, so I can start saving up for a gender therapist hopefully. Now there's the matter of actually finding one...

The first therapist i went to did this.  It really is a waste of time = =;;

Quote from: JenJen2011 on October 05, 2011, 07:50:45 AM
Sounds to me like she wants to see what made you this way and find a cure. Find a gender therapist and don't waste your money on this person.

and thats what my therapist intended to do, even if she didnt actually say it, i could see it in her eyes >.>
butttt, she didnt succeed  , and i completely agree, go find a gender therapist and someone thats had experience instead of trying to find "cures" through countless methods
Good luck finding one!

Any therapist who is worthy of the name will never try and talk you into or out of transitioning - they will help you to see your truer self so that you can make informed choices rather than being steered around by your unconscious (or by others' fears). So I disagree that a gender therapist would try and talk you into transitioning (unless they're a crap therapist).

I had a concern earlier on in my path of transition that my "transness" might somehow be "caused" by having been abused as a child. My therapist and my psychiatrist (who both have a lot of experience working with people with gender dysphoria) both agreed that my dysphoria was not caused by the abuse (and that in fact it is statistically more likely that it's the other way round, that my gender ambivalence made me more vulnerable to and encouraged my abusers - not that this makes it my fault at all, of course). They agreed that my dysphoria was not pathological, but that because of the abuse, there is pathology surrounding my relationship with my sexuality and gender that made it harder to feel safe to experience myself truly as I am.

I cite this as an example of professionals neither encouraging nor discouraging me from transitioning, but helping me to face myself and find out what I wanted. I also cite it as a example of how it's recognised that past experience can affect how we relate to our dysphoria whilst not necessarily being in any way its cause. It can take a lot of untangling to separate out who we are from how we feel about who we are.

  This is called regression therapy.  Some people it works, but faulty memory or suppressed memory may cause problems of false diagnoses.  It was tried on me, it didn't get far.  Too many suppressed thoughts.   Past traumatic events as a child may cause you to think that your are transgender or gay but you are not.  It takes a good therapist to sort your thoughts and find the cause and you to find a path out of the mental morass that any past event may have cause you to think this way.  This may take awhile.  Hugs!
  Joelene

Trust your instincts and do not go to that therapist regardless of how cheap it is.  I agree whole heartedly with what Padma says and I quote:

Quote from: Padma on October 05, 2011, 11:59:14 PM
Any therapist who is worthy of the name will never try and talk you into or out of transitioning - they will help you to see your truer self so that you can make informed choices rather than being steered around by your unconscious (or by others' fears). So I disagree that a gender therapist would try and talk you into transitioning (unless they're a crap therapist).

I had a concern earlier on in my path of transition that my "transness" might somehow be "caused" by having been abused as a child. My therapist and my psychiatrist (who both have a lot of experience working with people with gender dysphoria) both agreed that my dysphoria was not caused by the abuse (and that in fact it is statistically more likely that it's the other way round, that my gender ambivalence made me more vulnerable to and encouraged my abusers - not that this makes it my fault at all, of course). They agreed that my dysphoria was not pathological, but that because of the abuse, there is pathology surrounding my relationship with my sexuality and gender that made it harder to feel safe to experience myself truly as I am.

I cite this as an example of professionals neither encouraging nor discouraging me from transitioning, but helping me to face myself and find out what I wanted. I also cite it as a example of how it's recognised that past experience can affect how we relate to our dysphoria whilst not necessarily being in any way its cause. It can take a lot of untangling to separate out who we are from how we feel about who we are.

Hope you find the answers you are seeking

Warm regards
Sarah B

Don't believe in the event trigger hypothesis for being Trans. Once had an Analyst who tried to tell me that being Trans when little for me was a survival strategy in a seriously messed up family. She was also a little homophobic and I didn't and don't buy it, projection on her part imho.

As Padma rightly mentioned being Trans isn't pathological and many events that occur in our lives are caused not by our selves but the reaction of others to us. Do not let others pin their issues on to you otherwise it defeats the purpose of therapy per se.

Most therapists who deal with large numbers of trans people don't believe that past events cause people to be trans.

I'm starting to think that doing this at all would be a waste of time. My life growing up was a good one except for some bumps and bruises that any person would experience. I was never beaten and hardly bullied. At most my parents wanting a divorce would have been the worst thing that happened, but that wasn't a huge deal. My childhood was very far from a bad one.

I think I'm going to tell my mom that if I'm going to get therapy at all, I want it to be with someone who knows the condition and how to deal with it. I'll definitely have to save up some money and spend some time looking for a gender therapist, but I know it will be worth the effort in the end.

Thanks to all who replied!

Sadie,
  The best answer on this thread was yours.  Good luck, dear.
  Joelene.

I would have to agree with all the replies.
A psychiatrist I saw many years ago thought my feelings were sub conscious and put me on anti psychotics, which did nothing except increase my appetite and gain weight.

The last psychiatrist I saw for five months ( was free - bulk billing ) thought it was all caused by anxiety, put me on an extremely high dose of beta blockers ( which I have found out now was an overdose ). It didn't make the feelings go away, it helped with the anxiety and made me a lot less apprehensive about coming out. His favorite word was 'Can't', as in 'You can't do that', not a very nice fellow and I have heard that from a few other people including a psychologist who have seen some of his former clients.

I have since found an experienced psychiatrist recommended by a friend who has transitioned and am just waiting to see her.
Just my thoughts.

Quote from: JenJen2011 on October 05, 2011, 07:50:45 AM
Sounds to me like she wants to see what made you this way and find a cure. Find a gender therapist and don't waste your money on this person.

Yep. Good therapists and psychologists don't focus on history that can't be changed; they focus on the current situation and how they can work with that, based on the client's goals.

Also, I always encourage people to remember that psychiatrists ≠ therapists/psychologists. Psychiatrists are basically MDs with a little extra psychology training, and their purpose is really just to prescribe meds. They're not trained to provide therapy or other services.

Quote from: smearedblackink on October 28, 2011, 07:43:56 PM
Yep. Good therapists and psychologists don't focus on history that can't be changed; they focus on the current situation and how they can work with that, based on the client's goals.

Also, I always encourage people to remember that psychiatrists ≠ therapists/psychologists. Psychiatrists are basically MDs with a little extra psychology training, and their purpose is really just to prescribe meds. They're not trained to provide therapy or other services.

That's not entirely correct.. In fact it depends very much on the psychiatrist.. I actually see a psycho-therapist, which means he's a psychiatrist with additional training.. I don't know where you are, but a psychologist without a Masters or PhD is not considered worth seeing here in Australia, let alone fit to practice..  I've also seen a psychiatrist in the past, one who was far more interested in talking than he was in writing me a prescription for anything.. Again, this could well be a difference between what's considered acceptable here in Australia versus the rest of the world..

Like I've said in a few threads around here recently, sweeping blanket statements are not the way to go...

The person I have an appointment with is a psychiatrist, and she's with a big transgender department of a big hospital here, very recommended for these sort of issues.

While it's true that psychiatrists can prescribe meds and therapists can't (at least in Belgium that's the case), that's pretty much the only difference between them. They've had the same core studies and will be able to help you with your problems equally. A psychiatrist just studied a bit longer and has some extra privileges.