Hello.....

I came searching for an FTM Forum to do something. What? I am not sure exactly. I would like to spill my guts and tell the whole story of my life, but its not all that exciting. Readers would wander off. I could tell my tale of woe, share my heartbreak over the still fresh wounds of lost love, but I am sure it is a story shared here many times over. That leaves little else to tell, beyond the everyday statsics of me. I am in my late 40s, very late 40s, okay, I'm 49. I have always more or less lived male, damn the torpedoes and full steam ahead. I started taking T something like two years ago, I honestly could not tell you the date. About the only change it has brought on is more facial hair. My voice has always been deep, I have always been referred to and thought of as male. Rarely did people look at me and think "she/her". Its been odd, to say the least. I would venture to say I have been called "it" more times then "she/her". Being called "it" bothered me at first, then I came to realize the fun and enjoyment I could get at the expense of those attempting to ridicule me with this insult. I have since grown up.

I have had a fair amount of relationships. Not enough to be considered a "slut" or somesuch, but enough that I need more then two hands to count them.....perhaps more. Yes, more. All have known about what is or is not between my legs. Some before it got "too far", some not. For the most part, it was "no harm, no foul". There were a few times that that was not the case, but no one attempted to end my life over it. I have had three very successful relationships. However, not as successful as I had hoped, or there would have been only one, not three. I have recently ended one, not by my choosing, which is why I am here, and the title of this piece is "Depressed as Hell". I will spare you the gruesome details, lets just all agree that it hurts badly, similar to what I would imagine getting hit by a train would feel like. It was my doing, or lack thereof, that brought about the demise of such a wonderful thing. I waited too long to confess to her my "true nature".

Which brings me here, to this Forum, on this day.

Hi Justaguy, welcome to Susans! 49 is good, we have something in common. I'm sorry you're going through hard times, sometimes just putting it out there helps. I hope to see you around, hugs, Tracey

Thank you for the reply, I was beginning to think I had invited people to ignore me. I do have one question, is there a way to submit a post without having to go jump through the hoops at the bottom of the page? I have tried the 'shortcut' to no avail.

You're not being ignored, we love new friends here! I post from my phone, every sentence means jumping through hoops! Not sure what you mean, but Staff should be by soon to rough you up, err, I mean welcome you, you can ask them. Hugs, Tracey

Welcome to the site Justaguy 

So your intro doesn't say much about what you like to do. Do you bike, write, like to read, anything like that?

Hi and welcome JustaGuy 

I do a bit of this and a bit of that. I write, I am also a photographer. I have done many things in my life because I can get bored very quickly if my mind is not stimulated. For thrills and the pure pleasure of life I have done things such as skydiving, mountain climbing and whitewater rafting.  I prefer the feel of a small two-seater plane over a jumbo jet, a motorcycle over a car, and a hurricane over a snow storm, but that is just by a slight margin. I am also excited by the feel of an earthquake, not the damage, but the feel. There is also something to be said of watching the earth rolling under ones feet and out into the distance. I enjoy solitude.

welcome! wow, skydiving, have u ever sky boarded?

No, no skyboarding. Nor do I surf. The idea of tieing myself to a board of some sort that has the capability to kill is something I do not find exciting.