Hi all

I suppose the question says it all. When you are transgendered, are clothes really that important? This may sound a silly question to a lot of you but I am asking because of my own feelings on the subject at this point in time. I am not living en role yet, and, still in the early stages of transitioning, am with my wife and family.  So, what I am asking you all is what is more important, how others see you or how you feel within yourself?  Also, what is more important to you, looking like the womanly image (or manly image of you are going the other way) that you may think you should have, or just being you and dressing as you please?

You see, in my life long battle to understand myself, I have been dressing on and off for most of my life, and clothes have always been soooooo important. In fact in my younger years it was always skirts and dresses (never jeans or whatever). It was a statement that was never meant to be ambiguous. This was definitely a female walking down the street ! I even lived as a girl in my early single years and always wore skirts and dresses etc.  However, recently this has changed quite a bit. Whether that's because of the mild anti-depressants (which will probably cease soon) or the hormones I have been on for a year, I do not know. What I do know is that the desire to dress is much less. What is even more important these days is how I feel about myself as a person. What I feel I am is female (with all the emotions, traits, compassion, and awareness etc), It has nothing to do with what I am wearing which today was trackies and a hoodie. Feeling that I am becoming what I think I am seems more important than what I am wearing. Maybe it's because, even as I change appearances, I can put up with however people see me, as opposed to some who may want recognition in their true new gender. Now, don't get me wrong, when I am out shopping I love looking at female attire and fashion and bags and shoes etc, and being interested in them. I only look at guys stuff if absolutely necessary. I suppose, given the time, space and opportunity, I would get dolled up loads of times and really enjoy it, but it's not the be all and end all like it used to be.  As and when (and if) I fully change, I am likely to still wear similar stuff, and only 'fem' things on special occasions.

I guess I wonder about everybody else. I am the only one like this and does everybody else wear the image attire of their chosen new gender for other reasons or what?

Debbie 

I'm apparently nearly unique in this, but the very first time I put on an item of clothing from the women's section of a store was after I'd gone full time. I don't feel like clothing really has much to do with my transition, other than actually caring enough about my body now that I'm interested in dressing in clothes I like and look good on me.

For me it has always been about my body. I've never worn a skirt or a dress in my life.

Actually i wear a bunch of rags and life is so simple.. i can enjoy it..

I think the clothing is important to a degree and to what degree that importance is held can vary with each individual  For instance, pre-transition my need to collect feminine wear could well be on par with an OCD condition

Now, after two years of HRT I've relaxed quite a bit and my wardrobe has become more befitting to a woman of my age and style... I have everyday stuff, playful stuff and stylish lady stuff

I retained a few of my man clothes things (Not sure why) but I find even those things can be assembled in a rather fem. manor... I'm not sure if it's because I have fairly well developed breasts now or if it's my general appearance, But it doesn't seem to matter what I wear anymore

I can go to the store wearing a men's flannel shirt or go to a funeral wearing a men's black suit and tie and still get ma'amed... Guys will hit on you anywhere 

Anyway, feeling feminine and being viewed as such is rather important to me, but it has become more relaxed and comfort orientated now

I mosty wear scrubs or jeans and t-shirts. When I'm going out somewhere and I want to dress "fun" I wear a button-up, maybe a vest. For me, it's important to remember that I am still me with or without masculine clothing. There's a sense of "when I take of these clothes, I become less male" that I'm trying to rid myself of.

My basic style hasn't changed, I'm mostly a jeans and tshirt kind of girl and was a jeans and tshirt kind of guy.. There are a few more fem tops in the collection now.. I do own a couple of dresses and skirts, but rarely wear them..

Clothes that express who I am and feel good wearing it was and is very important to me. The only problem from pre-transition was that I couldn't wear what I wanted, either because there was no right size for me or it was too femme to wear and not draw attention to myself.

Now I know where to shop and what i feel good in doesn't draw anyone's attention. The only times I didn't give a damn what I had on was when I had no choice but to wear some masculine wardrobe. I guess those times were the times of depression for me.

It is also so that I don't live on some desolate island so it does matter to me how other people perceive me. There is only so many times in a raw I can stand to be perceived as male, which likely happened only like twice in past 6 months while I was wearing my unisex work uniform.

You are mentioning some antidepressants and other family related circumstances...Don't take this as a judgment or diagnosis but you seem to be going through some mild low. But on the other hand HRT can make you very content with who you are so it might be a combination on these two?

good luck! 

for me, clothing is important. It defines who I am based on the style of of clothing I wear. Clothing was important to me when I presented as a male too.

I have a style that I like and it is uniquely me. Now, the clothing I buy, i know other girls wear em but I wear em because it kinda emulates who I am.

Here are a couple examples of what I usually wear to school and work:






Now, my clothes you can get anywhere but the way I wear em are kinda uniquely mine....at least at my school. At work I blend in a little more.

Not into clothes at all and regret I no longer live in a country where one can wear jeans, t-shirt and flip flops 365 days a year to be honest. Feel the same about jewellery, never wear it despite having been a producer for many years. Am a lazy person too which probably influences things.

Much like you Debbie, so much of my skirt wearing was to send a clear unambiguous message about myself which I felt was very important with near zero self esteem and confidence at 6' tall in an age of 5'6" women. Lately, as once again and very scary real now, I am walking down the road towards maybe transitioning I've come to realize it was also a sort of defense mechanism. That binary, women wear skirts and guys don't, thinking helped me to not confront my trans nature. I now live in an area and a time where women in skirts are rare (NYC native trans-planted into WV). After being confronted with the opportunity via the group I am involved with to be out in a "you must wear casual" situation did I realize what I had done. Joanne doesn't do casual because Joanne has to be insane to think that she can actually live as real life women do, not just a pretend one. I totally avoided an outing with my group because I was too afraid to admit to myself what I needed to do to have joy in my life for more than just a few hours.

Much of that joy does come from just feeling perfect about myself and actually proud of how I look and especially feel in a dress or skirt. Sure, I feel that way in a great pair of jeans and a top that shows off a body I am finally proud to be in. Given a choice I'd go with a dress or skirt over slacks for that reason alone now. I also do not do the brakes on my truck in a skin tight pair of jeans. (guy mode can be more practical at times  ) I guess you can say I dress according to the situation now as well as age appropriate. Most of all I dress in way which I feel pleased with the image I want to project, with myself and my mood. The realization I made about my separation of gender worlds gave me the courage to venture out into the world, just like any other woman would. It still hasn't changed how scary what all this is leading to is. The positive feelings are overwhelming those fears every passing week.

Maybe they are right about "It gets better" after all?

JoanneB,
I'm really so excited you have broken down those barriers; and have been released into being, a much stronger woman. I hope you are really proud of yourself. It's the sort of place we must all confront and move through, to make it that defining moment. Congratulations. Hope you find more of them; and let us know.
Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa luv
Catherine

I say YES!  There important. Then again I am at the begining stages of my transition,  so I am excited to wear the colors,styles,materials and oufits I have always wanted to wear. So I guess it just depends on the person and maybe where you are in life.

(Abracadebra.....we meet again......  )

I'm almost 6 feet tall and wear heels and skirts.   It's what I like and although lots of women these days wear slacks or jeans, skirts and dresses are not too out of place for my area and age

I think it's a very personalized thing. But also, much of society still hasn't gotten over the nasty habit of judging people based on their clothing. Of course, if you're confident, that doesn't have to mean much to you. I pretty much dress in what I like. The only time I change it up for a social situation is in a professional business capacity simply because it's well, professional to do so. You just don't show up to a high-level business meeting in a t-shirt, skinny jeans and hi-top chucks

I think it is probably more common earlier in transition as it helps bolster our self-image to an extent.  Once HRT starts bodily changes, and we start living as a woman day to day, it is a less urgent need.  HRT also seems to allow us to be more emotionally settled too.
It then becomes more a matter of personal preference, and what we are comfortable in.  Personally I prefer skirts as I like the feeling of freedom, and the air moving around my legs. ( I now know why I wanted to wear a kilt at school, which was regarded as being totally out of the question.)  Also my legs are my best feature I think, and will draw the eye away from my face! 

Karen.

Quote from: justmeinoz on October 14, 2011, 07:57:36 AM
HRT also seems to allow us to be more emotionally settled too.

Not wishing to go off topic, but if that's what HRT does  -  BRING IT ON!!!! 
I've just finished watching "My Sisters Keeper" Not even half way through and I was a blubbering mess. There goes another half box of tissues. And my wife has absolutely no idea of what's going on. So far this week 3 boxes of tissues have disappeared from the house. (They went via the garbage - used)
Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa luv
Catherine

QuoteFeeling that I am becoming what I think I am seems more important than what I am wearing.

Clothes are such a personal issue. Some are really into them and others are not.

I always expressed myself clothing wise by the gender I was living as. Prior to transition I dressed as male, never feeling the need to crossdress. During and after transition I dressed in the sex I was transitioning to. It was very simple and not a big deal to me. For others it is.

i would say clothes are one of those concrete gender cues. some women are into them, some aren't, but to pass as female, the clothes you wear are a pretty important factor. i've found that i was more comfortable just wearing the clothing that comes from the women's department even if it is not glamourous and supreme feminine. i think it's a good 50/50 balance between how you feel on the inside, and your ability to be recognized as your gender identity. some women are really into clothes, some aren't. we all have those days when we just want to be comfortable, but does that make you less of a woman? no, it just means you have multidimenssionality, and that you are human. we are more than just one thing.