Hi all! I'm Lily (although that wasn't available to register with, so I went with Lilium ... it works.)

I'm currently 23 years old, and live in Belgium. I have always had an unhealthy (although hidden) obsession with Lilies. Hence the name. Very soon I will no longer have to hide anything.

I was unfortunate enough to have been born in the body of a man ... a body that doesn't match my brain by a very long stretch.
I have known something was "wrong" with me for as long as I can remember, for example I remember being jealous of girls when I was a very young age. Being confused as to why I didn't look like them, as I clearly had the same interests as they did. I was often scolded at though, saying I should "go play with the other boys".

As a result of that, I pretty much figured out that what I was feeling wasn't "normal" and so I tried my best to hide this all. I became more of a man and got into some very stereotypical guy things to try and "make it go away". Let's just say that didn't work out too well. All it did was make me extremely depressed.

After 23 years of having lived my life as a man I've decided to go for it, and become the woman I've always known I was. I have yet to come out to my family about this, but I expect my mom to be very supportive of me. My sister is lesbian and not only has she supported that, my sister's girlfriend also lives here. I am truly lucky to have such an open minded mom, and I love her to death for that. I plan to come out to her over the next few days, after I've done more research about the transitioning process. I already know everything that one needs to know I believe, but I want to make 100% sure I cover everything here, to be able to answer any questions my family might have to help them in understanding.

If this introduction post sounds very confident, that's because I have never been so sure about anything in my life. It's still kind of hard to believe I'm finally going through with this. (quick, someone pinch my cheek!)

Confidence in the decision aside though, I do also realize it's not all going to go as smooth as I'd like it to. Things will be extremely hard both for me and for friends and family. Fortunately I already have a wonderful friend that is extremely accepting of everything LGBT related (she's a straight woman, but a very big and active supporter of LGBT rights). I have already come out to her and her reaction was to send me about 5 messages full of "<3". A bit of a love overload that had me giggling and smiling like an idiot for a few hours. It felt extremely good to have that kind of support from someone.

Aaaand .... it looks like I was rambling again. Very bad habit of mine right there and I do apologize for the poor souls that read this post, but I love you for having made it this far and putting up with it! <3

I hope to be inspired by many people here, and in turn also inspire other like-minded people.

This was Lily, signing off.

Hi Lily Hope you enjoy the forum as much as I enjoy it.
Here you will find allot of help , support , and friends. I just love it  and its very very secure with Moderators and Administrators watching for our safety  .

hey check these link out its been post by the forums founder and friend Susan ---> Site Terms of Service and rules to live by https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html.


Nikki

hiya Lilium, whats ur fav lily? mines tiger lily.

I'm an anemonies kinda guy myself. But lilies are much easier to find.
Nice to meet you. I'd love to hear about Belgium~

Hi Lily,welcome to Susan's there's lots of info and lots of nice people here.Hugs,Rachael.

Thank you for the warm welcome!

Quote from: R3i on October 09, 2011, 07:23:35 AM
hiya Lilium, whats ur fav lily? mines tiger lily.

My favorite kind are Madonna Lilies (or often referred to as just "white lilies"). They just look so elegant! I also like Lily of the Valley, which seems to be a lesser known kind but they're just so tiny and cute.

Quote from: AbracaDebra on October 09, 2011, 08:50:21 AM
Hi Lily

I take it your are not of Belgique origin then as you english is very good.

Debbie 

I actually am of Belgian origin, and have lived here all my life as well. The reason for my English being so good is purely due to the fact that I speak English 90% of the time. I spend the majority of my time online due to me not being comfortable enough in my body to go out and make rl friends. Girls think I'm creepy because I always want to hang out with them, and guys think I'm weird because I have issues talking about your typical guy stuff.

I'm also planning to move to either the US or Canada at some point in my life, where speaking fluent English certainly would help! My original intention was to make that my priority, but now I will wait with pursuing that until I am able to go fulltime, which likely won't be for a while, although likely sooner than most people.

I already have quite a few feminine features in my face, the main issue right now on that aspect is the facial hair (which you can see even if I've just shaved), but that's fairly easy (albeit expensive and time-consuming) to remove. My body type is quite passable already as well, as people have often "insulted" me for having "woman hips". Little did they know they were giving me an amazing compliment!

And I rambled again, wonderful!

Hi Lily! <pinch> Well, you asked for it! It's nice to meet you. I'm half Belgian, as we say here in the States. I know that's nearly unintelligible, maybe Debbie can help with the translation ; ) See you around, hugs, Tracey

Lily is an awesome name! 

  Welcome Lily!
  I, too, tried to be normal, as others on this forum.  It took nearly 40 years to get the proper treatment for my GID.  My avatar is of the Scarlet Gilia, about the actual size as appearing in the avatar.  It does look like a lily close up.  The scarlet color symbolizing the same kind of shame that the character Hester Prynne had to put up about her adultery in Nathanial Hawthorne's book The Scarlet Letter.  This is one of the books my class in high school had to read and discuss on.  Hester and her daughter were characters in a Puritan village near Boston in the mid 1600's who was condemned of adultery to isolation and she had to wear a scarlet "A" on her dress.  Me it was more like a scarlet "T" for transsexual. 
  As the story went on she became well liked for her seamstress ability and most of the townfolk did not shun her for that ability and the relative uneventful life she led.  To some in the village the "A" become to symbolizes "Ability".  This is the same treatment I am getting from my friends and relatives now at age 58.  If I would of transitioned earlier I would have put up with the same kind of shame that Hester went through early in the book.  I had to keep my GID under wraps all of these years with the shame of the scarlet T in my mind and the accusations of homosexuality that came with it. 
  You're not alone Lily.  You have come to the right place.
  Joelene

Welcome Lily,

My favourite flower as well and the desktop on both my computers! Fantastic English btw, thought you were British by the way you write. Should have known better, most of us are either semi literate, drunk or on something most of the time! (Myself included I hasten to add...)

Quote from: Lily on October 09, 2011, 03:33:27 PM
Lily is an awesome name! 

So you're the reason I had to settle for Lilium as my account name!

Quote from: Joelene9 on October 09, 2011, 04:16:50 PM
... Nathanial Hawthorne's book The Scarlet Letter ...

I've been meaning to read that book for a while now. I first heard of it in a movie I can't seem to remember the title of right now, but I was intrigued by the story.
One of these days I'll be able to get to it, but I still have Eragon to finish. I'm so slow to catch up on reading popular books ...

Quote from: mimpi on October 09, 2011, 04:38:17 PM
Welcome Lily,

My favourite flower as well and the desktop on both my computers! Fantastic English btw, thought you were British by the way you write. Should have known better, most of us are either semi literate, drunk or on something most of the time! (Myself included I hasten to add...)

I have a folder with a bunch of flower photos that is being rotated on my desktop on an hourly basis (thank you for that feature Windows 7!). It's currently showing a lovely yellow water lily.
If it wasn't such a job insecure area, I would learn flower arranging. I would LOVE that sort of job.

Thanks again for all the warm welcome everyone. I'm really enjoying all the positivity around here. I haven't really posted outside of the introduction forums yet, but I'll get to that soon enough. I don't exactly have much experiences to share yet so for now I'm content reading all about everyone else's experiences.