Quote from: Arch on October 07, 2011, 09:17:02 PM
No offense, but to me you look rather like a butch girl in your avatar pic. How old is it?

Pretty recent, honestly. And here I thought the soul patch was helping.
No offense taken, I'm just pissed at myself for bitching and moaning about all this, and still being unwilling to compromise my personal preferences and all that useless bull->-bleeped-<-.

Quote from: N.Chaos on October 09, 2011, 11:19:34 PM
Pretty recent, honestly. And here I thought the soul patch was helping.
No offense taken, I'm just pissed at myself for bitching and moaning about all this, and still being unwilling to compromise my personal preferences and all that useless bull->-bleeped-<-.

Maybe the soul patch IS helping...the avatar is a pretty small pic.

In my experience, being misread can take a steady toll on a person. No wonder you're frustrated. But people tend to misread those of us who are unwilling to part with characteristics or features that are traditionally seen as feminine--at least when we're fairly early in transition. I figure that if being yourself puts you in the "androgynous zone," then you have decided that it's worth being misread sometimes. But that won't last forever. Give it time.

Yeah, it absolutely takes a toll. I've noticed that instead of going out and trying to be prepared for it, I go out automatically pissed and ready to jump just about everyone who looks at me.

What bugs me so damn much about it is for years, before I came out, I had people question my gender. Constantly, at certain points in my life. And now, its like everything's gone all backwards or something, and its just so frustrating.

It's got to be ur hair.. Lots of metal or goth bio guys that have long black hair have the same issue.. So if u want to pass better I recommend u cut ur hair, or this cud be an issue u will always have unfortuantly...

Once my voice dropped I never get called "she or lady" and I hang out with loads of women and honestly 9 times out of 10 I'm the only dude..

I'm adamant it's ur long hair!

Quote from: N.Chaos on October 10, 2011, 03:14:12 AMWhat bugs me so damn much about it is for years, before I came out, I had people question my gender. Constantly, at certain points in my life. And now, its like everything's gone all backwards or something, and its just so frustrating.

That is weird. But I'm wondering if other things have changed. Under what circumstances did people see you as male in the past? All the time, or just in certain situations? In what contexts? Have you changed your style since then? Has your confidence level changed? Are you just noticing misreads more than you noticed "misreads" before?

People's "mistakes" way back when might have been of a particular kind. Two examples. In the women's restroom (or in women's circles), a lot of women are ultra-conservative and tend to automatically question androgynous people, but their confusion might only last for a moment. Another example is sheer meanness, of the "What are you?" variety.

I don't know what to tell you except to keep your chin up and keep a-goin'.

I actually dress a lot more normally then I did then. I wore a hell of a lot more makeup, my hair was longer, I ran around with huge platform boots and fishnet and all that ubergoth ->-bleeped-<-. One of the big things has always been my voice, I almost had security called on me once back in highschool for using the girls' bathroom because of it. A lot of the time it was in pictures as well, quite a few people thought I was a guy online. The douchey "what are you" comments, I don't know how much stock I put in them, but I had a really sweet lady ask me politely if I was a boy or a girl. It was weird, but made me really happy at the same time.

I'm not sure if this counts, but quite a few times I'd catch girls doing a double-take at me in one of the Asian food stores I shopped at a lot. They'd start to check me out, and then stop like "Wait a second..."

Its all odd. When I'm not in that angsty mode I was in the other night, I can see the comedy in it. I pass in bathrooms so well, they don't terrify me anymore. I've bumped into guys on the way out, we've both mutually mumbled apologies, and nobody looked at me twice. At the same time, in the back of a cab when I'm running my mouth, the guy calls me a lady. Cashing out at the post office a while ago, even paying with a bank card bearing THAT name, both ladies called me "sir" and "mister", a few weeks later when I've let my stubbles grow out noticeably, the guy at the laundramatt things I'm a girl. There really seems to be no rhyme or reason to it, so I think I just need to either deal with it, or grow the balls to correct these clueless folks.

Quote from: N.Chaos on October 10, 2011, 08:50:14 PM
There really seems to be no rhyme or reason to it, so I think I just need to either deal with it, or grow the balls to correct these clueless folks.

I didn't start consistently correcting people I knew until I was "passing" consistently with strangers. Looks like you're in a rather different situation. Correct away. Might make you feel more in control, and lots of people will fall all over themselves in apologies.

Your situation does sound odd. Perhaps you're letting out parts of yourself that you kept hidden before!

Well, I'm definitely gonna have to have a vent/advice stealing thing with Ben. Even though he's not in the same situation, he's amazing at basically making me answer my own questions, and hearing me out like a boss.

That could be it, though I try to keep all my "omg cooking, holy ->-bleeped-<- BEADS I WANNA MAKE STUFF" limited to the interbutts and home. My friends/family know I'm just flaming as all hell.