Sunday Julie and I attended the 96th birthday party for my step grandmother. She's been part of my life for over 40 years. My ex also attended. It was the first time most of my grandmother's side of the family met me. Some I haven't seen for years, including my step-mom. Everyone was great and not one person slipped on any gender pronouns or identification. Except one person, my ex.
And it wasn't a slip.
Right at the end I was talking to my grandmother, step-mom and a cousin. My ex walked up. We were talking about the yard renovation I have been working on. Then my ex interjected, "He... blah, blah, blah." Julie and I let it pass. Then again. And again. Julie corrected the ex. But the ex just kept doing it. Julie got pissed. I just turned to Julie and made an "I told you so" face. I have always said that behind my back the ex refers to me in the male. Julie said the ex has never done that in front of her.
But the ex sucks up to people and no doubt she figured everyone there saw me as male so she made no effort to hide her true feelings.
Julie, who is normally the most understanding and forgiving person you're likely to meet, said, "She will never come into our home again." I was surprised but I had no problem with that. Up to now, Julie has been encouraging an open arms acceptance with the ex.
I guess those arms are closed now. Now I can exercise my philosophy that you need make no effort to include in your life those who don't support you. And clearly the ex is on that list.
