So 12 hours ago I bit the bullet and changed my gender on OKCupid - and made it clear in my profile that I'm a bi, transgender woman in a relationship, looking only for friends.

Since then, I've got the unwanted attention of over a dozen dodgy middle-aged men and a student from Sheffield.

Straight men are weird.

It seems 'straight' men are strange everywhere. I'm registered on a Hungarian TG site(I'm also bi, trans, in a relationship) and get the same there. A lot of them would cheat their wives without a second thought just to have sex with me, or sex with my MtF girlfriend and me at the same time...

Straight men are weird.

If I ever make a dating profile again, I'll let people know my status if they message me but I won't be putting it on the front page.

*sigh* I was almost married twice. I hate starting over, and I hate dating. I suppose I'm just in too much of a monogamous mindset that I can't feel anything but queasy at the thought of having to meet and develop feelings for a bunch of people before meeting the right one.

I never consider dating - which I am starting to think is rather strange.   My circumstances are very odd though.  I simply don't have the courage to look for a relationship because how would I go about explaining everything to someone else: 'Oh you still live with your mother, and you say that you are female but you prefer to think of yourself as a girl rather than a woman!'    In all honesty I really couldn't blame someone from running out the door screaming after hearing that.   
Straight women really are attracted to masculinity, it actually does turn them on, but they also make many demands upon men.   They want a man who will be all James Bond and Clint Eastwood when that suits them.  However, the also want that manly, taciturn, 'can-do' man to be all sensitive and a poet with a capital P when it suits them.   How many men do you know who combine these very different characteristics?    This probably explains why women always wail 'why are all the good men married or gay?!'   They date masculine men and after awhile they are repulsed by his ego-centric insensitive ways.   They try dating a more sensitive man and find themselves turned-off by his femininity.   
I often look through womens' fashion magazines with my sister and she has said that she isn't attracted to any of the male models because they all look either too boyish or too feminine.   It seems that while men are attracted to female models women just don't feel the same way about male models.   

Quote from: Princess of Hearts on October 09, 2011, 04:57:13 PM
I never consider dating - which I am starting to think is rather strange.   My circumstances are very odd though.  I simply don't have the courage to look for a relationship because how would I go about explaining everything to someone else: 'Oh you still live with your mother, and you say that you are female but you prefer to think of yourself as a girl rather than a woman!'    In all honesty I really couldn't blame someone from running out the door screaming after hearing that.   
Straight women really are attracted to masculinity, it actually does turn them on, but they also make many demands upon men.   They want a man who will be all James Bond and Clint Eastwood when that suits them.  However, the also want that manly, taciturn, 'can-do' man to be all sensitive and a poet with a capital P when it suits them.   How many men do you know who combine these very different characteristics?    This probably explains why women always wail 'why are all the good men married or gay?!'   They date masculine men and after awhile they are repulsed by his ego-centric insensitive ways.   They try dating a more sensitive man and find themselves turned-off by his femininity.   
I often look through womens' fashion magazines with my sister and she has said that she isn't attracted to any of the male models because they all look either too boyish or too feminine.   It seems that while men are attracted to female models women just don't feel the same way about male models.   

I've been in that same situation my whole life. I could never live up to the expectations of "being a man." It's why I just don't date straight girls. In some ways the feeling is mutual, they don't interest me as much as I don't interest them. It's never a good thing to force oneself to conform to another's needs, if you can become lucky enough to find someone who understands you and who accepts you for you (not the same as "tolerates") there you will find love.

I thougt I'd give RSVP a go.  I put"100% Lesbian Transwoman (stop right there guys)" as the first words of my 'headline' and the only people who come up as having looked at my profile are straight men. What the hell is going on?

PoH,

I always had the same problems with dating.  That's the problem with so many people nowadays, everyone is taught to look for and expect the perfect, ideal mate, and anything less is meant to be thought of as undeserving.  I've heard "you can do better" countless times (from my various ex's friends to my partner at the time) as if relationships are sporting events.  To complement your words about men, what seems to be expected of women is to put out, yet not be a slut...to stand up for herself, yet not be a nag...to be feminine, yet keep men excited and on their toes.  Hard to say which expectation is harsher.

And I almost forgot, the constant search for perfect 10's that aren't promiscuous or total b*tches.  lol

I figuritvely look them up and down and think,"and you are the alternative to being a dyke?"

Wow, reading all this, I'm left thinking "Where does that leave me, then?" I'm on OKCupid (and TransPassions, but have mixed feelings about that place) - recently edited my profile again, but go between "What's the use" and "Maybe this time...?"

About men - ah yes, I remember that well from my female dating site days. Don't miss it one bit.. although I have to say, women can be just as bad!

Quote from: Padma on October 04, 2011, 02:41:40 PM
So 12 hours ago I bit the bullet and changed my gender on OKCupid - and made it clear in my profile that I'm a bi, transgender woman in a relationship, looking only for friends.

Since then, I've got the unwanted attention of over a dozen dodgy middle-aged men and a student from Sheffield.

Straight men are weird.

and I bet more than half of them are married too lol

Quote from: Padma on October 04, 2011, 02:41:40 PM
So 12 hours ago I bit the bullet and changed my gender on OKCupid - and made it clear in my profile that I'm a bi, transgender woman in a relationship, looking only for friends.

Since then, I've got the unwanted attention of over a dozen dodgy middle-aged men and a student from Sheffield.

Straight men are weird.

Okay first off... Why on earth would you be looking for "Friends" on a "Dating" site.  Just how many dating sites have you been on? What did you expect describing yourself as a Bi/TG woman in a relationship...  It's a nasty world out there sweetie pie.

I think that "bisexual" is considered to mean "nymphomaniac" by most men on dating sites.

I believe the species you have encountered is known as the ->-bleeped-<-.

Men
This is sort of relevant. I went out for dinner last Saturday night, solo, I place I go too often. After dinner I sat in the lounge bar having a drink and reading my book. A guy came over and said, no reason to be alone, join me and my friend, I looked over and his friend was female so I said sure.

He went on about how he was cheating on his wife who was at home cooking his dinner that he wasn't going to turn up for. He was trying to chat me up, that's a first BTW, and the 'other' woman had been dating him for a few months and started to get jealous of him chatting me up. I felt as if I was in a different planet where truth and honesty were a concept that had not been defined. I got annoyed and decided to leave, I just said a polite goodbye with a lame excuse, he was going to take me to my car, I'm pretty sure why  . But the 'other' woman roped him in thank goddess.

I have to admit if she had accidentally    undone another button on her blouse, we would have had boobs on the table. When he went to the loo, I did say, 'that's a cute bra' . I don't think I'll invited to the party next time.

Cindy

Unfortunately most dating sites are 80 - 90% full of pretty dodgy sorts for the most part    Your darned lucky if you find anyone real there

Thanks all the same for making me feel good about not having bothered with dating sites.

I got my KG of troubles way back in the old days when there were Dating Agencies, the results were much the same.

Yet, there is always hope and so they keep going on that juice as it seems.

Axelle

As I said Cindy, "what the hell is going on?"  Chatting you up in front of his girlfriend by bragging about cheating on his wife? Have I missed something somewhere in my education?

Karen.

I'm not around here much at the moment - a lot going on at once. but I wanted to say thanks for the responses.

The thing about OKCupid is that it is set up for making friends as well as being a "dating" site - and I have very successfully made local friends through it. All of them female of course, because men mostly don't want to make friends, regardless of what they say they want .