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What are the signs of being harrast at work? none verbal

Started by jainie marlena, October 17, 2011, 11:44:57 PM

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jainie marlena

Just before I came home I was told to tone down my perfume but I put just one squirt on this morning. I did not get to work until 3:15 in the after noon. I don't know if it was strong or not. Did not smell it. It made me feel like crap the way it was brought to my attention.

Cindy

Ignore it. It was probably someone trying to bait you. Fools do that. Ignoring them is the best way to deal with them. If they up the anti tell your boss, HR dept and get it stopped in the bud. However many woman don't wear perfume at work, particularly in areas where there are a lot of people as some people get reactions to different perfumes, contrary to the one you wish to obtain ::)

Hugs

Cindy
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Annah

another thing to mention is the issue that it is very difficult to tell if someone is harassing you when it comes to it being non verbal....especially when it is focused on trans harassment.

I make the rule to ignore someone when i feel there is some type of non verbal harassment because I do not honestly know what they are thinking. They could have had a bad day, they don't like the smell of the perfume, they don't like what I'm wearing, there could be tons of reasons.

It can drive you crazy when you start to think about what others could be thinking. Just smile at them :)
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jainie marlena

I am just on the other side of not caring what others think about me. Sometimes it trys to come back. It is battle in its self.

JenJen2011

I work in a doctor's office and people here are very delicate with that sort of stuff. A lot of the elderly patients complain about it. Even I complained about it once. There was a temporary worker who wore the type of perfume I would call old people perfume. It seemed as though she showered with it. I could barely breathe around her. Don't take it personal. Sometimes we are too quick in thinking we're being attacked or harassed when we're really not.
"You have one life to live so live it right"
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jainie marlena

Quote from: JenJen2011 on October 18, 2011, 12:35:50 PM
I work in a doctor's office and people here are very delicate with that sort of stuff. A lot of the elderly patients complain about it. Even I complained about it once. There was a temporary worker who wore the type of perfume I would call old people perfume. It seemed as though she showered with it. I could barely breathe around her. Don't take it personal. Sometimes we are too quick in thinking we're being attacked or harassed when we're really not.
I think your right about that so times I feel like I am being attacked when I. Know that I'm not. My mind tends to magnify small things.

Sailor_Saturn

That doesn't sound like harassment or prejudice in and of itself. It could just be plain old rudeness, or it may be that your perfume is a particularly potent one? I've smelled some pretty bad perfumes in my day, and it didn't matter WHEN the lady in question put it on, it was just too damn strong. The same applies to men's cologne. Some scents are absolutely intoxicating, some smell like cigar butts soaked in ammonia.

I expect that the individual in question was just displeased with your choice of fragrance. Since tastes vary, there isn't much to be done about this. I'd assume the better of people until they definitively prove that this isn't a matter of fragrance preferences.
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Dana_H

Another thing to consider is that perfume can interact with body chemistry to actually change the smell somewhat. I once had a cologne (back in my "guy" days) that smelled nice from the bottle and even in a dab on the hand, but smelled downright stinky to others when used in any significant quantity. The wearer may not even be aware of the fact that others are noticeably affected.  Scents containing musk oil are especially prone to this.

Now, I have my wife give me a sanity check on all my new smell-goods the first time I use them because I can't always tell. I trust her to be honest but not brutal and to tell me if it is too strong, too offputting, etc.

As others have pointed out, in the absence of additional evidence it could have been any number of things.
Call me Dana. Call me Cait. Call me Kat. Just don't call me late for dinner.
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jainie marlena

Japanese Cherry Blossom it smells pretty. I don't wear anything with the word musk in it. I don't like the smell of musk. My wife and her friend took me to Bath and Body Works at the mall.

I smell men's cologne all day at work that is what made me feel okay to wear my perfume.

The person who said it I think feels betrayed by me wanting to change genders like betrayed the male gender or something.

I think what I was doing wrong was spraying it straight on me. It maybe one of those that you should spray in the air and walk through it so you get just enough to smell pretty.

Mahsa Tezani

Quote from: jainie marlena on October 19, 2011, 09:39:24 AM
Japanese Cherry Blossom it smells pretty. I don't wear anything with the word musk in it. I don't like the smell of musk. My wife and her friend took me to Bath and Body Works at the mall.

I smell men's cologne all day at work that is what made me feel okay to wear my perfume.

The person who said it I think feels betrayed by me wanting to change genders like betrayed the male gender or something.

I think what I was doing wrong was spraying it straight on me. It maybe one of those that you should spray in the air and walk through it so you get just enough to smell pretty.

Its easy to think the entire world is against you. But smell is extremely sensitive and I am not douchey enough to complain about that. But plenty of people are.

THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR GENDER IDENTITY and is more about the scent you wore.
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