I have a hard time washing "it", by it I mean that thing which we lose after we get SRS.

I can't look at it or talk about it without feeling dysphoria, much less touch it. So I have a hard time keeping myself clean... I can't stand scrubbing it. I have been using a spounge, but I am not circumsized so I can't clean below the foreskin and the spounge hurts sometimes.

Quote from: Bird on October 20, 2011, 12:48:02 PM
I have a hard time washing "it", by it I mean that thing which we lose after we get SRS.

I can't look at it or talk about it without feeling dysphoria, much less touch it. So I have a hard time keeping myself clean... I can't stand scrubbing it. I have been using a spounge, but I am not circumsized so I can't clean below the foreskin and the spounge hurts sometimes.

Question: Are you able to pull the foreskin back behind the head? I had that problem in my teen years. I could not wash properly. So, I had to get circumsized to be able to.

Yes I can and it doesn't hurts in a conventional sense.

It just makes me feel like crying.

Quote from: Bird on October 20, 2011, 01:15:15 PM
Yes I can and it doesn't hurts in a conventional sense.

It just makes me feel like crying.

Gotcha. Well, would you rather not touch it and let it smell like rotten eggs, or look at it as just another body part that needs some scrubbing to smell nice. Just think of it as a long clitoris until you have SRS.

Quote from: JenJen2011 on October 20, 2011, 01:20:50 PMJust think of it as a long clitoris until you have SRS.

That gave me more mental images than I cared to see

Yea in the end I just clean it, even if it is painful.

Before I started HRT there was a time I simply stopped cleaning it or even taking regular showers, as those activities were incredibly painful and disabling. I wish I could clean it without feeling so bad about myself.

It's probably best to look at it as something very important to do, regardless of your personal feelings. I am going to assume here that you intend to get SRS as soon as you are able. Not cleaning one of the dirtiest parts on your body could be potentially dangerous to your health and even more likely, harmful to that area of your body that you will need in the future.

Quote from: Morrigan on October 20, 2011, 10:29:59 PM
..harmful to that area of your body that you will need in the future.

I think this will help you get through it.

Maybe give yourself a count. Like you'd only need, what?!, 15 seconds to clean.
My suggestions is to count - this uses the logical part of your brain- while in the shower from 15 to zero. This will help the emotions fade, as they will alleviate, as the number gets smaller.

Hope this helps you.

Love,

Jenny