Hi everyone, I am new here... obviously

I have been in what you can call a state of denial for many years and I recently had the courage to bring the topic up to one of my friends who is a lesbian and she put me in touch with a friend of hers who was an FTM and then both of them have been very supporting and giving me advice and resources.

So that is how I ended up here.

Also let me put a note for anyone reading, I ramble quite a bit... sorry....

I am the oldest child in the family, I have a younger sister and my parents "always" wanted to have a boy first... well they got that... sort of.

When I was about 6 or 7 I remember my mom would let my sister and i dress up and use clip on earrings.

There was not really anything she did to stop it, however, at the point where I was in public school she discouraged it and tried to force me to spend more time with other boys from school.

Fast forward to middle school, I started having very serious mixed feelings and I despised looking at myself in the mirror, any chance I got to get a hold of some article of clothing I would. I was on ritalin too for add so I dont know if it threw off the balance of hormones or something?

Anyway, I got caught one time when my mom decided to clean my room for me while I was at school... they wanted me to see a psychologist. I dont know much about what all went on, but my dad told me a year ago ( probably 10 years after seeing the psychologist) a few of the details from what she said.

I come from a very close minded state (alabama) and I absolutley despise living here. I am christian, however I have not set foot in a church for probably 4 years. My mom on the other had goes at least once every couple weeks or more. My dad is very easy to get along with. Growing up I only got along with my mom, My dad felt I only thought of myself and not others, one day he spoke to a neighbor who I was friends with and I would go help him a lot because his wife left him to move to another house and he was getting pretty old, but that day my dad came home and apologized for everything he had said thinking i was selfish and since then we have been much closer.

My sister is a bit of a pest who I wont go into details about now, but she and I get along once in a blue moon.... if that...

I have been looking on youtube and found quite a few people who have transistioned and they look amazing and you really cant tell much that they were born as a male at one point.

I am trying to pursue this and follow my dream to finally be happy and hopefully before I turn 27 I can fully transition. I am 25 now.

but for the longest time many of my friends say I act a bit girlish, like I can pay attention to 3 conversations at one time between 3 groups and they all stop and look at me and say men are not wired to do that, that i must be part woman... I nearly froze when they all looked at me after that comment. I did have a point in my life where i was anorexic, which normally guys dont get often. Thankfully over that mess now. I am always the worst person to decide on something ( like menu items, what to do) I am very good with fashion for picking out gifts for friends who are female, but when it comes to mens fashion i have not got a clue.

My ideal job is actually something mainly women do. I work kind of in the wedding business and I love creating things for weddings. I do lights for the weddings but everyone loves the way I light up the rooms and accent the cakes and flowers. Usually they ask for me by name. Yet I want to do the whole wedding not just the lights.

As for advice, I am trying to find the best way to tell my parents, without breaking their hearts and still be on good terms, I love my parents. My sister I dont mind either way.

any good doctors or therapists? I am trying to book an appointment with Dr. Carl Bushong, I am taking a chance because I dont know much about him, but I want to have faith that it will all work out perfect.

But what I am looking for is personal experience, reactions from friends and family and I guess I could use some friends.

I have a feeling several of my friends now will not have much to do with me once I do get far enough into transition. Especially from being raised in alabama.

Also costs of transistions?

Basically just an in depth experience of all of it. If you guys want to email just let me know, I didnt want to have my email pull up online because I am a bit of a pc whiz so I know how easy someone could find my email.

Thank you so much for any replies

- W

Hi, welcome to Susans

There doesn't seem to be any easy way to break this kind of thing to parents, I had to back myself into a corner to be able to tell my mum, I told her that I needed her to come & see me for a chat about something important, once she was there I had no way to back out.
Her reaction at first wasn't too bad, she said that i'm old enough to make my own decisions but our relationship has taken a beating in the last few months as she uses every opportunity to discourage me from this path.

I'm in the UK so cant offer any advice on transitioning in other countries, all I can do is wish you all the best

you're 25 now, are you still dependent on your family? You can tread the water, coax an opinion about gays perhaps, a more common topic. If they aren't accepting of your choices, your number one goal should be financial independence. Physical results are mostly dependent on previous looks and genetics, else substantial money for surgery is generally involved. I've never been a fan of therapists, as they can really only say they agree or disagree with you. You know your parents better than they/we do, so it's best that you tell them in a way you feel they're comfortable.

First, Thank you all for the replies.

Sadly, yes, I am still stuck here at home with family. I dont mind too much, it helps me save as much as I can. I do want to try to get a little better income enough to move to another state or country and support myself.

I know my parents do not accept people who are gay, lesbian or bi. I have a few friends who are, they dont mind me having them as friends, as long as I dont follow them and start dating guys. I dont really care to date anyone now to be honest. I know they expect me to have several sons to carry on the name, I dont want kids either. So I think all the stuff they expect from me it would be like a massive let down to them in a way.

I have a few ways to tell them, either the blunt direct approach or the cherry coated version.

I will have to see how things go to determine the best time and way to tell them.

Thanks again

I'll offer you one piece of advice which I hope you'll take.

It is incredably tempting to dwell upon the years you've missed and especially start to blame others for that time.

Needless to say, that is just going to mess you up and give you ulcers.

Put the past behind you. It was the rocky road that got you this far.

Quote from: spacial on October 21, 2011, 05:56:18 PM
I'll offer you one piece of advice which I hope you'll take.

It is incredably tempting to dwell upon the years you've missed and especially start to blame others for that time.

Thanks, that is actually some good advice, I do tend to look back on the past and keep wondering what if I did something or done it sooner... I guess I need not worry so much about it and just know what to do from here on.

Thanks



is there anyone who transistioned from the southern states? like between Louisiana to Georgia? if so any good suggestions on who to talk to for the hrt? I want to find someone who knows what they are doing.


Thanks again

Bienvendos, WhitneyD Only you know how to handle family. However,everyone here will help you stay strong. this is what I have seen. Iam new to this foram as well. Be fearssssssss and you are not alone only if you choose to be.