I have no idea, but for some reason, I am.

Hello there, my name is... well, it -will be- Talon. I am a pre-op FTM transgender, and I think I'm very lucky to have found these forums. I haven't made many posts yet, normally I just lurk over in the FTM section and read the questions other people have already asked, finding the answers to my own questions.

It's so good to know that there are places who support your decision, and who will stand by you no matter what. So, I really think it needs to be said, but thanks for having such a great community of support!

-edits to add a bit more about myself-
I wish I had discovered who I was earlier on in life instead of just letting myself feel so out of place and awkward and shy around everyone. But, I can say that I am the proud father of a 3 year old son, and I wouldn't have that if I had figured out in high school or college exactly who I was. Unfortuantly I am going through a divorce, because some people are just not as understanding and open and supportive as they need to be, but out of tragedy comes greatness. I have an amazing boyfriend who loves and supports me and whom I know will stick by my side through it all. And well, the best part of my life is my son, so yeah -cough- Anyway. I think that's all? Maybe? o0 who knows!

Welcome to the forum, Talon!

No worries on being shy, it's quite alright; in time it will pass I am sure

Thanks! I hope it does pass... so that I'm not just lurking around the forums but activictly (i really can spell, I swear) posting and giving advice as my journey continues to march onward!

Welcome Torhture

I hope you enjoy your stay, and can find answers to the plethora of questions you must have.

You are right, Susan's is a most unique community, with such wonderfully caring and genuine people who are prepared to stand their privacy aside, and allow us who have yet to reach that point of total transition; the most intimate view of what is yet to come for us. This whole transgender journey is such a highly personal, private and intimate transaction, although being a community, is so uniquely individual. I fully understand your shyness.

I, personally am so profoundly humbled and highly honoured and privileged to be in their company. What these 'Pioneers' have revealed through their raw emotional, physical and spiritual writings has left absolutely no doubt whatsoever, of what I have yet to face. And without that invasion of their privacy, I know I would not be able to complete my journey. I doubt whether they will EVER fully appreciate my eternal gratitude and total  indebtedness for  this privilege.

So as you become more comfortable here, feel free to ask any questions. There will always be someone here who can answer it. Embrace and enjoy your very own uniquely individual journey.

Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa luv
Catherine

Welcome to Susan's,Hugs,Rachael.

Hi Tor'

A school of thought says that shyness is actually a subtle form of vanity.   The shy person automatically thinks that everyone is interested in them and what is more they want to study and analyse the shy person's every move and utterance.    Most people realise eventually that other people are so self-absorbed that they don't even notice the majority of people around them never mind think about them and their behaviours.    This and a lack of self-confidence can make a person extremely shy.   

I used to be self-conscious and constantly feel that people were taking a great and unwelcome interest in me and also finding my appearance or my behaviour to be lacking in some way.    When I was 5 years old some old ladies saw me playing with my friends and made a series of derogatory comments - they obviously thought that I was several years older because of my height.  Anyway my mother heard these remarks and she was so angry that she flew over to these old women and shouted at them saying: he is only five years old.  I probably passed for 8 or even 9 in those old ladies's eyes so I suppose their judgement was accurate from their perspective but their comments greatly offended my mother and made her spitting mad!   Although I have no conscious memory of this incidence.  I think at a subconscious level this incident make me self-conscious of how I appear to others.

Oh we humans our minds are our worst enemies!

Hi Talon, it's nice to meet you! I like the honest introductions where the lurker admission comes out! Don't be shy, and remember, speeling is much overrated. Hugs, Tracey

Oh geeze... I forgot all about my Publik skool upbringing and my amazing speeling and graamar miscakes! -laughs- Thanks for reminding me tracey!

@Happy Girl!: Hoenstly, I think my shyness comes from the fact that, in my part of the 'world' being different is frowned upon. You can't be who you really want to be because it's different. You always worry that if you open your mouth and say something, it won't be the right thing, people will think you're dumb, gay, weird, stupid... whatever it is. I've delt with it all my life, though I'm trying to remember the philosopy "It's better to ask and be thought a fool for a moment; then to stay silent and be known a fool forever." I just keep telling myself that over and over and over again... and maybe, someday, I won't be shy at all when I first introduce myself to people... or maybe that will come with finally feeling 'right' in my own body?

As for everyone else! Thank you so much for the warm welcomes!