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I had to put my wife in jail friday night.

Started by jainie marlena, October 30, 2011, 03:01:58 PM

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jainie marlena

Friday night I am home from work to find that my wife was there. She was arguing with my oldest daughter about something. She got so mad that she tried to take my belt to her. I would not let her so she grabbed extension cord and walk over to her to hit her with it. I got up out of my chair and got in between them. My daughter took the cord out my wife's hand and drop it to the floor. My wife told me to get out of the way. I told her to calm down this was not going to help anything. She swung around me and hit my daughter in the face. I grabbed her arm to keep her from doing it again then with her other hand she slapped me in the face which cause me to let go of her other hand. She grabbed me by the hair of my head wrestled me to the floor. My son was worried that I may retaliate so he got in between us. He kept saying dad don't do anything. I told him that I was not going to so he got off of me.

I call 911. My wife kept saying please don't do this to me. I said what would you have done to me if I hit you back. She knew what she was hoping that I would do. She rounded up somethings that she had here, got into her jeep and drove off just as the police was coming down the street. One of the cars went after her the other stop at the house. I filed a report against her and so did my daughter. She spent the night in jail. The next day she came and got her stuff and left.

Some of you may know that my wife has been trying to take my house from me. She was trying to get me to hit her so she could get an exparte on me. She told me how we were still married and how she could have me removed from my own place and take it over. So I am doing to her what she said she was going to do to me come Monday morning. I can't have her trying to control my house and that is what she has been trying to do this whole time.

Hi, Amazon D
I told you that it would work its self out it always does. Read the story of Esther. My wife was building the gallows for me to be hanged and she was hanged in my place. The story shows how this works. The person trying to take from me does not understand that once it was take from me the first time it can't be taken from me again. The things that appear are not always as they seem. Those that crucify the son of God afresh don't understand that he died once and death has no more power over him. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Crucifixion reverses on the person that is doing the crucifying.

Annah

I am so sorry you went through that. I doubt she will be able to get the house now....or even custody of the children for that matter.

Was she also brought up on Child abuse charges on Friday?
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jainie marlena

@ Annah
I don't know yet. They took my daughters statement I should know something by Monday.

stldrmgrl

I'm sorry to hear this.  You did the right thing though.
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cynthialee

What a mess.
My heart goes out to you and your family.

Perhaps after getting caught up in the justice system and the soon to be mandated anger managment classes your wife will mellow out a tad.
So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.
Sun Tsu 'The art of War'
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Bird

I wish you the best hon.

You are incredibly strong, I don't know if I could have controlled myself as well as you did.
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MarinaM

I agree with cyndi, nothing breaks a person who believes theyre entitled quite like contact with the justice system.

I hope thingsmellow out after this mess.
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jainie marlena

She has called me all day trying to talk me into dropping charges because it will affect her school. Ironically she is going to school to be a social worker.

Jen61

I have been there, it is awful. My ex beat us all, then somehow it is not her fault. Document everything, places, times, what it was said. Get a lawyer, get rid of her. They do not get better, just worst. PM if you want details.

Hugs,

Jen61

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cynthialee

Do not let her talk you into droping these charges!

She will just continue the abuse and with you having droped the charges she will just think she can manipulate you into droping the charges again....
So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.
Sun Tsu 'The art of War'
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OrderOfOriah

That's a terrible thing to have happen. 

Someone else said you did the right thing.....  I wish I could agree with them.

I'm not saying that you did the WRONG thing; only that there's not enough information to acurately determine what the truly right thing was to do.

But that being said, you did what you had to to protect your daughter and yourself.  That is admirable to say the least, and at least your sense of self preservation is keeping the two of you safe.

Obviously your wife is troubled in some way, or misguided, but I hope that in the process of getting this settled her life isn't ruined either.  Criminal charges can seriously f**k a person's life up hardcore.

I hope that this is resolved in the best way possible to reduce the negative consequences on all three of your lives.


Personally I find this to be more evidence of marriage being a terrible idea.
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Keaira

If schooling was so important, she should have considered her actions. Especially to become a social worker. This is exactly what she is supposed to protect children from.
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cynthialee

Quote from: Keaira on October 30, 2011, 09:16:32 PM
If schooling was so important, she should have considered her actions. Especially to become a social worker. This is exactly what she is supposed to protect children from.
THIS!

QFT
So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.
Sun Tsu 'The art of War'
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amanda barber

did you also file the restraining order yet?
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MarinaM

Quote from: OrderOfOriah on October 30, 2011, 09:14:43 PM

...
Obviously your wife is troubled in some way, or misguided, but I hope that in the process of getting this settled her life isn't ruined either.  Criminal charges can seriously f**k a person's life up hardcore.


Unfortunately, some intelligent, well meaning, otherwise awesome people need a reality check when it comes to some of the stupid sh** they pull. I am all for keeping the courts as uninvolved as necessary, but people should really, really think before they do something dumb. (been through it, it's scary and life altering)

Also: I know we know almost nothing about this. So I should probably refrain from any further comment.
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Joelene9

Jainie,
  You and your daughters have my prayers.  Stick to your guns!  Your wife needs the help here, not you.  This will only get worse, doesn't matter which spouse does the abuse.  I lived in bad neighborhoods as a kid and saw the abuses both ways.  One kid in my elementary school class made a song out of the abuse his mother was receiving to the catchy jingle to a boxing show called "Friday Night at the Fights" in 1959, long before ESPN.  A second grader!  I still remember it.  It echoes. 
  Joelene
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jainie marlena

Quote from: amanda barber on October 30, 2011, 09:57:34 PM
did you also file the restraining order yet?
Doing this to day

The abuse started many years ago I was smacked around the whole time.  I tryed to tell people but I did not want the police envolved to shamed of it. The only defence I knew was to fight back that was stupid of me. No record of anything she did to me. She never hit the kids while they were growing up. She would get me worked up to the point that I felt like I had no choice but to protect myself from her. I did not even realize what she was doing. She set me up to look like the person who was doing it the whole time. I will never forget what was said by the cops when she called on me for the first and the last time. "HE probably has been beating her this whole time." I was not ashmed anymore after that day. She bailed me out of jail told everyone that I abused her all these years. I could not believe it but there is one thing I know about a person that abuses they can't stop themselves it would happen again in do time. She verbaly abused us but stayed away from the fisical until friday. Abusers need help I needed to not be ashamed of being abused.
@EmmaM
I was going to school back then the abuse thing is on my record. It stopped me from from having any care about school because no one will hire me. I am not going to drop charges so she can have the money to make sure I never have what I want in life. this year everyone is seeing a side of her that has been hide only have seen it.

MarinaM

I know it can kill your sense of hope, but criminal charges dont have to mean the end. Makes it very hard, but the capacity for entrepenuership is still there.
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jainie marlena

I just started a new topic

since when is doing the right thing wrong.
this is going bad I can't believe this happing again.