I met this guy a few days ago at the Embarcadero. He straight up was into me and flirting. I got his number, he called me, etc...

Now things are awesome. This guy loves Megan Fox, football, and girls out of MAXIM. He loves metal and is your 100% straight guy. He tells me my face and ass are unbelievably hot and I get him excited. He said he can't wait to "eat out my puss". I probed him a bit to figure out what fetishes he had, he has none. He straight up said he wasn't into trans... He says he is open minded and likes gays, but keeps his distance.

This is beyond awesome...except for one thing. I'm a transsexual female who is fine with her genitals....

Since I've started dating again, I've met a ton of different guys.... I mean they are the garden bro/jock/homie variety. Guys of reasonable intelligence, they are overly cynical but they aren't ultra positive either. They feel good about themselves, they go out on dates often, etc... I got asked by my geek crush tonight to go to a party..

Every guy I've went out with. I've assumed he was chasing after my penis. After all, my natural personality is very sex driven. I was like that as a boy, but as a good...It's manifested itself more natural. After I tell every guy, they tell me "How is that possible?" they freak out and think I am joking. It isn't until I show them old ID photos and credit cards, do they accept it. They lose interest...they still are into me as a babe. But aren't into the penis aspect. The fact that I am an XY kinda repulses them though and they would never have sex with anyone who was born male. We still remain friends though.

In a way, it is kind of bittersweet to meet so many men and not have access to them beyond a certain point. I kinda wish I could meet more bisexual men... But finding bisexual men in the Castro is damn near impossible. They treat me like another fruitfly...

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on October 31, 2011, 03:48:48 AM
After I tell every guy, they tell me "How is that possible?" they freak out and think I am joking. It isn't until I show them old ID photos and credit cards, do they accept it. They lose interest...they still are into me as a babe. But aren't into the penis aspect. The fact that I am an XY kinda repulses them though and they would never have sex with anyone who was born male. We still remain friends though.

~There may be a correlation. They are perceiving you as female and are attracted to you as such; but you are only confusing their sexual drive further by showing them your old photos. If you want them to remain even perhaps slightly interested or curious, you should cease doing that. You may not win them over, but you can at least challenge their way of thinking; who knows, you may even trigger a paradigm shift. Or a collapse.

I feel for you sis.  I have no doubt you will find someone, or more than one, who will be able to see past the anomaly to the woman standing in front of them.    I am finding that a lot of lesbians are not interested either. As a friend, no problem, but they just can't get their head around the genital difference.

I have been talking to one woman on the net, and by phone, who is okay with it, so we'll see.  As she was married before coming out and has had a child, the penis will not be a total surprise to her, if things progress.
Is there anywhere locally that the percentage of Bi guys might be higher, maybe art galleries or something?
Maybe joining a LGBT support group as a volunteer worker would let you meet everyone involved. That could maximise your chances. 

Happy hunting! Karen.

Quote from: justmeinoz on October 31, 2011, 04:52:50 AM
I feel for you sis.  I have no doubt you will find someone, or more than one, who will be able to see past the anomaly to the woman standing in front of them.    I am finding that a lot of lesbians are not interested either. As a friend, no problem, but they just can't get their head around the genital difference.

I have been talking to one woman on the net, and by phone, who is okay with it, so we'll see.  As she was married before coming out and has had a child, the penis will not be a total surprise to her, if things progress.
Is there anywhere locally that the percentage of Bi guys might be higher, maybe art galleries or something?
Maybe joining a LGBT support group as a volunteer worker would let you meet everyone involved. That could maximise your chances. 

Happy hunting! Karen.

No. I am avoiding most of the LGBT thing. I am not into transmen or women really.  Women are a lot more open minded than men. Men very much are hung up on their sexuality.. Women are more fluid.

Quote from: Akashiya Moka on October 31, 2011, 04:52:02 AM
~There may be a correlation. They are perceiving you as female and are attracted to you as such; but you are only confusing their sexual drive further by showing them your old photos. If you want them to remain even perhaps slightly interested or curious, you should cease doing that. You may not win them over, but you can at least challenge their way of thinking; who knows, you may even trigger a paradigm shift. Or a collapse.

A hot person is a hot person... Men still like the visual aspect of me, but aren't into the sexual aspect once I reveal.

my reccomendation is to stop viewing people as "typical straight male" or "typical gay male" etc. etc.

People are individuals, and you'll have much more success by treating them as such and not classifying them into predetermined categories.

just my two cents.

feel free to disregard

Quote from: winter88 on October 31, 2011, 05:34:56 PM

1) Guys actually want to see be in public with me. Maybe not with you, but guys are like... "Look at her, we're going out"

2) I don't want srs...and your views are skewed.

3) Transvestite really? Guys go for me assuming I have a vagina and am cis.

4) Turn off the caps...you seem angry about something.

You need to broaden your prospects and go fishing somewhere other than the Castro district.

No straight man will want you. That is just the brutal and honest truth.

Gay men are also out.

You do have a very limited pool of potential sexual partners.

Find a bisexual guy.

Being non-op comes with its own set of chalenges. If you can't take the heat, hun you need to get out of the kitchen.



sorry to be so blunt

Quote from: cynthialee on October 31, 2011, 05:45:22 PM
You need to broaden your prospects and go fishing somewhere other than the Castro district.

No straight man will want you. That is just the brutal and honest truth.

Gay men are also out.

You do have a very limited pool of potential sexual partners.

Find a bisexual guy.

Being non-op comes with its own set of chalenges. If you can't take the heat, hun you need to get out of the kitchen.



sorry to be so blunt

Actually, I am sure many straight men DO WANT me. I can prove it.. ever think sex goes beyond the genitals? I mean really...this board is incredibly genital fixated and there are straight men who are open minded.

Like honestly, I am less than people here because I don't want srs? I mean even if you get srs, it doesn't change anything and guys don't want to screw someone who used to be a man.

Therefore, sick of hearing about the genitals. I am fine with my genitals...

Quote4) Turn off the caps...you seem angry about something.

   Lol yeah 4realz.

  She can get a straight man....just as long as she doesn't tell him she has a penis. 

Quote from: Rukia87xo on October 31, 2011, 05:59:33 PM


   Lol yeah 4realz.

  She can get a straight man....just as long as she doesn't tell him she has a penis. 

+1

Yeah...a straight man who wants to be seen in public with me, introduces me to his family, sees me as more than some secret, etc...

LOL...

threads like this humor me.

I'm beginning to understand that ignorance is just as rampant in the trans community as it is in the rest of the world.

Quote from: winter88 on October 31, 2011, 05:34:56 PM


YES IM SUPER EXPERIENCED WITH STRAIGHT GUYS AS YOU CAN TELL BEACUSE ITS ALL I GOT AFTER LOL.

You go after men? Seriously...I thought the men are suppose to come to you and give you attention. Not the other way around...

Don't do eeet!

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on October 31, 2011, 06:02:07 PM
Yeah...a straight man who wants to be seen in public with me, introduces me to his family, sees me as more than some secret, etc...

   Hey what he doesn't know won't hurt him right? lol

  I think it's a good way to test a guy, if he really likes you and isn't just trying to get into your pants then denying him sex shouldn't be a problem.

Quote from: winter88 on October 31, 2011, 06:17:23 PM
m

Mono-alphabetic response... I see where ya goin with that.

I disagree.

even men who aren't "trying to get in a girl's pants" typically intend to have sex one day.

sex is a huge factor in the ritual of human affection.

Find someone who will accept you for who you are, including your genitals instead of basing a relationship upon a lie

Quote from: Rukia87xo on October 31, 2011, 06:13:33 PM

   Hey what he doesn't know won't hurt him right? lol

  I think it's a good way to test a guy, if he really likes you and isn't just trying to get into your pants then denying him sex shouldn't be a problem.

They try to get into my pants for that sweet sweet vagina. Seriously...guys are like, "send me a pic of your pussy!"

It's hilarious and flattering at the same time.

Quote from: OrderOfOriah on October 31, 2011, 06:18:56 PM
I disagree.

even men who aren't "trying to get in a girl's pants" typically intend to have sex one day.

sex is a huge factor in the ritual of human affection.

  She could still perform oral sex on him. lolz 

As someone who is exclusively attracted to straight men, I can sympathize with your position. In the last 1.5 years, I've had to have "the talk" many times. Their response is always one of these four:

1) That's ok. I still want to date you, but we have to keep your trans-ness a secret.

2) Wow that's hot. I want to have sex with you and still want to date you, but we have to keep your trans-ness a secret.

3) Eh, not for me, but let's still be friends.

4) WHAT THE FFFFFF? GTFO FREAK

I went into the whole pre-op TS thing expecting to always hear 3 and 4, but 1 and 2 are also surprisingly common. Straight men being attracted to transsexuals is a very real phenomenon (note the massive TS porn genre), and is believed to be a form of auto-eroticism where a man projects part of himself onto his fantasy of a beautiful woman. Straight men simply not caring about which genitalia you have is also not unheard of, but is more contingent on them becoming quickly attracted to your personality and character. From what I've observed, most of their reservations stem from the social stigma of dating a transwoman rather than actually being opposed to dating you.

My advice (and what has worked for me in the past) is to not make the earliest stages of interaction overtly sexual. That way they aren't primarily thinking about inserting their penis into your nonexistent vagina right off the bat. Let them get to know you first, make them laugh, all that sappy romantic comedy stuff. The more they're focused on the real you, the better chance they won't want to go without you.   

My "success" rate (of the relationship or beginnings of the relationship not ending right after I have to break the news) is about 40% 
That being said, I've found it a lot easier to just use a mainstream dating site and put the info right in my profile. That way I know the only people who message me are ones who will be ok with it.