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Let's start some controversy.

Started by azSam, November 01, 2011, 10:18:25 PM

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azSam

Hi. I said I was leaving, and after this thread, I will probably go back into my hiatus. But something has been brought to my attention that NEEDS to be discussed.

Trans-Elitism.

You are not better than anyone else. Just because you are pretty, young, old, ugly, have money for srs/ffs/ba/whatever else, intersexed, more educated, have less support from your family/friends, have more support from your family/friends, are happily married under your new gender. Absolutely nothing makes you better than anyone else.

People, stop singling each other out. It's not a contest. We are ALL fighting just to live our lives. Just because someone does something different from you doesn't mean they're doing it wrong. Stop judging each other, we already get enough judgement from the rest of the world, we don't need it from our own community. We're supposed to be supporting each other, not bringing each other down.

Trans-elitism, trans-cliques.... trans-inequality is what all of this really is. Stop it, stop it, STOP IT!!!

Why are we fighting for trans-rights when we are our own worst enemy? Let's start by forming some actual cohesion in the community.
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cynthialee

So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.
Sun Tsu 'The art of War'
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Mahsa Tezani

I wouldn't say I am better than anyone. Maybe better at taking tequila shots and ending up in strangers beds.
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AndromedaVox

I have been noticing this more and more and would like to give you a big kudos for posting this. We are here to support eachother, not to be catty and competitive and just generally judgmental towards one another.

We should all just listen to One Love by Bob Marley, give each other hugs and treat each other with respect. It's really that easy.
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Constance

Samantha & Andromeda, I could not agree more! +1 to both of you!

monica93304

I think I'm better than anybody else, and everybody is wrong about EVERYTHING.

Ok, now where's my long island iced tea?



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FairyGirl

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 01, 2011, 10:59:39 PM
I wouldn't say I am better than anyone. Maybe better at taking tequila shots and ending up in strangers beds.

Hey you're wrong!! I'M better at ending up in stranger's beds!! ;D

Quote from: Samantharz on November 01, 2011, 10:18:25 PMJust because you are pretty, young, old, ugly, have money for srs/ffs/ba/whatever else, intersexed, more educated, have less support from your family/friends, have more support from your family/friends, are happily married under your new gender. Absolutely nothing makes you better than anyone else.

You left out:  Don't have money for srs/ffs/ba/whatever else, love your penis/vagina, hate your penis/vagina, don't feel the need for surgery, do feel the need for surgery (whether or not you can afford it), and especially, "can't for the life of me comprehend why this is so important to others, gee why don't they shut up about it already?"

Elitism goes across the board, and to single out one specific group and lay all the blame for it on them is just as elitist as any other group being accused.  "WE support everybody! (well, except YOU whose opinions we revile)" is hypocritical.  Hey, it always takes two to tango, as the saying goes.  The only way it's going to stop is stop feeding it, no matter how right you think you are, or how wrong the other person is, or how wrong the whole internet is!  Practice walking away from controversial threads instead of feeling the incessant need to toss your 2 cents in the pot.  It isn't helping, but it is doing a whole lot more than 2 cents worth of damage.  It might also help to consider how your words are going to be perceived by others who don't think like you before you post them, and that's a big one.

This is an excellent venue for getting all the walking away practice you need.  So what if somebody loves their penis? Walk away.  So what if you love your penis and think anyone who doesn't is deluded? Walk away.  It's interesting how many of the people who complain so much about the controversy are the ones themselves right in the midst of it.  It's never "us" guilty of bickering, it's always "them".  If you can't control yourself, write out the longest, most hate-filled, scathing rant you like and put those pretentious know-it-alls in their places....  but then, just don't post it.  Maybe share it with your friends in a PM, or gripe about it in one of the private forums among your own peer group.  Feel better now?

Look, I'm happily post-op, I have a wonderful life as a fulfilled and complete woman.  I see things here that are utterly laughable, things that are downright bizarre, and things that I personally find highly offensive.   But I'm not trying to force my opinion down anyone's throat, or change anyone's mind.  There is a TOS in place for reporting violations.  There are people here who genuinely suffer and others who think its all a big game.  But as long as the "I'm right and you're just an bigot" attitude prevails, and as long as people just cannot walk away and leave the deluded to their delusions and stop trying to "fix" everybody else's attitude, this sort of thing will continue and will continue to be a problem detrimental to the ones who find all this incessant bickering in extremely poor taste.
Girls rule, boys drool.
If I keep a green bough in my heart, then the singing bird will come.
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azSam

This is so much more than just here on Susans. It happens in real life as well, and that's where I'm getting to. Though it does apply here on Susans as well, a recent scenario in real life (that does not involve me directly) is why I decided to post this.
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Whitney

But... but... but... bathrooms..!


Yes, I agree with you entirely. I just wanted to post. :-*
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Ava C

living halfway between reality and fantasy at all times.
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kyril

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 01, 2011, 10:59:39 PM
I wouldn't say I am better than anyone. Maybe better at taking tequila shots and ending up in strangers beds.
I'm fairly sure I can give you some stiff competition on the latter  >:-)


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Mahsa Tezani

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pretty

Hi. Trans elitist here.

Not actually though. I think I am taken for one because my idea of a trans person is someone who strongly identifies with the gender they are transitioning to. I have to be honest about the fact that I do not understand the point of being a tomboy MTF or a femme FTM.

But a lot of people fill in way too many blanks and take that as an offensive, transphobic statement. HOWEVER... I have never once told someone they should not transition, I have never once told someone they shouldn't do the things they want to do. I think it is their freedom to transition for whatever reason.

That doesn't mean it has to make sense to me though. I feel like people definitely transition for not always the same reason, and while neither reason is superior, they have different needs to be met and I don't think it is a bad thing to recognize that they are different. Actually I think it is ignorant to pretend like everyone has the exact same problem. Yes, they are all problems! I am not arguing with that. But if you try to pretend like they are the same thing I think it hurts all parties.
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Forever21Chic



   I've said this from the very beginning but i'll say it again......can't we all just get along?   :icon_flower:
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Kelly J. P.


It's human nature... heirarchy, classification, dislike, elitism... those things are pretty fun for most people. I admit to being a part of that at times.

To end trans-elitism, one has to believe that every other trans person goes through equally valid struggles, I imagine. And some people are definitely going to say they're better for going through more, or be elitist about their luck... and not needing to go through hard times. People are just like that - unfortunately.

It's an amazing thing when a person can accept that we are equal, and that we are our own little collective. Other trans feel like kindred to me, personally. I just wish more felt like that - the unity would change the world.

I pray for the end of it all. Perhaps something someone will do will spread the realization that we are, in a way, like family. Compassion defeats heirarchy, and elitism, and it's such a fuzzy feeling to have...

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lilacwoman

trans-equality is fine outside Europe but inside Europe it is essential to separate TS from all the TGs as only TS need surgery which is provided by the European National Health Systems (if you Americans and others pay $9 for a gallon of petrol or diesel you too could have free health services).

If the TS are just TGs premise is promoted then the masses will say well that person says he is really MtF a woman in a mans body or FtM man in a woman's body but so are all CD/TVs/Drag queens/Drag Kings etc and they don't want to have their penisses/breasts chopped off so those persons must be crazy. 

That is the attitude until very recently and still promoted by lesbian and homosexual extremists and religious fundamentalists.

So I promote TS separatism and if that is seen as elitism so be it.
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Gadgett

I won't say there are people out there who don't feel superior but based on a lot of my own personal experience I find that what people think of as elitism is more just misunderstandings.

I think for the most part we all have good intentions. But because we are all not the same we may not be grasping what the other is saying because we don't think the same.  An example of this is I try to be funny in my posts to bring a little light humor to serious issues. That's just the way I am. But someone might take offense to my joke and they are so focused on being insulted they missed what I was saying and we are now official members of the Dramallama Club.

I am not right and I'm not wrong, I am just stating my own personal opinion. Misunderstandings are as common as Frosted Flakes in a hotel's breakfast.  I think the idea is trying to read what the other is saying instead of picking out each small detail. Or to use the age old saying. "The forest for the trees."
Scott Kelley: You guys are here on a good day.
Zak Bagans: What's that suppost to mean?
Scott Kelley: The building will talk to you today."
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eli77

It is fascinating to read at least one post a day that implies that I am not a girl. Somehow I don't have this problem with the cis folk in my life...
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Constance

Quote from: Sarah7 on November 02, 2011, 08:47:54 AM
It is fascinating to read at least one post a day that implies that I am not a girl. Somehow I don't have this problem with the cis folk in my life...
It is interesting, isn't it. I've had much the same experience.

JenJen2011

Start? It's been going on for how long now? And it's really stupid. Unfortunately, just because you put "stop it" in caps and big letters, won't make people stop. Peope have their views and opinions and no one can change them. It's best to just leave it alone, ignore, and move along.
"You have one life to live so live it right"
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