Quote from: mandyh92 on November 01, 2011, 09:35:47 AM
Even though i have been full time for over 2months they still only call me jason.

These guys have been my friends forever and i thought the would be more understanding but gg seem to adapt alot more....

This is why they are probably still calling you Jason.

You've only presented fulltime in just 2 months (which isn't very long.....especially in front of friends who knew you forever).

Gotta give them longer than 2 months to get used to the new you.

I always marvel - yes I do - at how people go on, and on, and on, and on, and on about how long they struggled with this (sometimes over half a century) and yet, when they finally get to a place where they think they have it worked out everyone else is supposed to snap to it, get it, and change right now.

Well, based on what the OP said, it doesn't sound to me like they're even trying to change.

Yes! I get mad! It makes me feel like I look like a man in a dress! When addressed as a cross dresser, I feel they are telling me I am unpassable as a woman.

Quote from: jainie marlena on November 01, 2011, 12:55:46 AM
My goal is to stay away from the idea of a man in a dress.

same here!

your homosexual friends are transphobic so obviously they will demean you so either get used to being put down as a CD or cut them out of your life.
you look like a woman while they look like drag queens.

I will straight up...Looking at this site, youtube, other places. I'd rather be compared to a drag queen. I have been called a "drag queen", "fugly" "->-bleeped-<-", "->-bleeped-<-" "It", "s/he", etc throughout my 3 years transition. Granted, it's only been to my face once or twice and a few time on internet forums. However, these terms dropped off the more I transitioned, improved my makeup, etc... I took the negative comments and did something with them.

But the truth is, that is how people are gonna see you especially if they know. Now for some of you are gonna have HRT do magic. I know it did with me, but I was never masculine looking before. I was a fairly feminine boy. But for others, you're gonna have to deal with these terms. It doesn't make the people ignorant. But although most people can suspend believe or not know. People aren't stupid.

Common people notice broad shoulders, masculine features, big hands, etc. Although we may surround ourselves with cheerleaders here. Reality is not like that... When I look at the photos of people here...I turn off the female side of my brain and turn on the objective male side. Most of the time I say nothing.

It is not for me to pass judgment on someone else's transition if they ask or post photos for critique. If you say you pass with flying colors, you better post a photo. Without photos, you've got nothing and are blowing smoke on this forum.

As for the hatred of drag queens in thread, I will say that a lot of drag queens make gorgeous women when they don't do crazy ass clown makeup. Most of my friends in "light" drag make beautiful women, as many gay men are born lookin femme. Watch "RuPaul drag race" and imagine them with natural hair, HRT, hormones, etc... They look wonderful and passable. But...it takes work. A lot of work even if you were born feminine...naturally butch girls will have an even harder time.

However, for most of the people in the transcommunity who work in IT, play rpg games, etc.. They are not used to the harshness of this. Truth is, no matter how you choose to identify. You need to put you're all into your look. No makeup will get you clocked immediately and people will call you ugly. Transition is not an RPG or a video game. It's real life with real consequences. People will judge you for your looks even if you were cis. It's cold hard reality.

But truth is, these terms are gonna be applied to you if you have the whole shebang(ffs, BA, srs). It's just how society is, so if you're gonna have a face...you better make it good.

Well Masha, that is quite the optimistic outlook you give there... Gettng clocked immediately without makeup? I hope I will ever pass that stage.
Photo's really don't say the whole story. One of my friends has had the bad luck that hrt did very little for her, when you just see a picture you will notice immediately that she is trans. However, she passes perfectly because her behaviour, sense of fashion and voice is very natural. It all fits.

Quote from: Venus-Castina on November 02, 2011, 05:10:05 PM
Well Masha, that is quite the optimistic outlook you give there... Gettng clocked immediately without makeup? I hope I will ever pass that stage.
Photo's really don't say the whole story. One of my friends has had the bad luck that hrt did very little for her, when you just see a picture you will notice immediately that she is trans. However, she passes perfectly because her behaviour, sense of fashion and voice is very natural. It all fits.

Passes perfectly according to whom? I am talking about passing in photos, in public, everywhere... Not talking about your voice and mannerisms.

People don't care about those things. You're judged by how you appear overall.

Step out of the trans circle for awhile...and use logical thought.

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 02, 2011, 05:24:39 PM
Passes perfectly according to whom? I am talking about passing in photos, in public, everywhere... Not talking about your voice and mannerisms.
People don't care about those things. You're judged by how you appear overall.
Step out of the trans circle for awhile...and use logical thought.

She passes perfectly because nobody in her academic year has caught on her being trans for example. I am not judging her by my own coloured opinion, I am looking at how the people around her interact with her, which is certainly different from how they interact with someone who is not passable like myself.
About the overall, that is exactly the point I am making. A picture doesn't say much about a person. It is just a static, staged image. It is the overall experience in life that makes people pass or not.

Quote from: Venus-Castina on November 02, 2011, 05:35:45 PM
. It is the overall experience in life that makes people pass or not.

Except we're not talking about the "experience of life".

By which I meant how the people around us experience us. That can be as a man, ->-bleeped-<-, crossdresser, transsexual or as genetic woman.

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 02, 2011, 05:24:39 PM
Passes perfectly according to whom? I am talking about passing in photos, in public, everywhere... Not talking about your voice and mannerisms.

People don't care about those things. You're judged by how you appear overall.

Step out of the trans circle for awhile...and use logical thought.

I kinda have to follow Venus' logic on this too a bit and I don't think she was talking "in the trans circle" about that. I pass even without makeup on. And I work in the mall (in the teenage girl department). That's a pretty good litmus test right there.

And about being within the trans circle, that only happens when I am on Susan's. In real life, I don't think about the trans issue within myself much. I'm just pretty much me. Trans isn't even in my thought process during the majority of my day.

And I have nothing against drag queens or drag kings but from the shows I have seen (both on television and in actual drag shows), their makeup actually gets them clocked (in which I am positive that is not the point for the drag queen). It's more about the stage presence than anything else.

Also, on the topic of "passing." A transgirl can have the perfect hands, feet, face, body shape, and the perfect makeup on and the perfect hairstyle but if she hasn't worked on her voice it will all fall apart. So, in my opinion, while makeup is important to some regarding their ability to pass....if they haven't worked on their voice then thousands of dollars of the best makeup in the world isn't going to help them (unless they have a sign saying they are mute).

Quote from: Annah on November 02, 2011, 06:15:46 PM

Also, on the topic of "passing." A transgirl can have the perfect hands, feet, face, body shape, and the perfect makeup on and the perfect hairstyle but if she hasn't worked on her voice it will all fall apart. So, in my opinion, while makeup is important to some regarding their ability to pass....if they haven't worked on their voice then thousands of dollars of the best makeup in the world isn't going to help them (unless they have a sign saying they are mute).

true

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 02, 2011, 04:52:39 PM
I will straight up...Looking at this site, youtube, other places. I'd rather be compared to a drag queen. I have been called a "drag queen", "fugly" "->-bleeped-<-", "->-bleeped-<-" "It", "s/he", etc throughout my 3 years transition. Granted, it's only been to my face once or twice and a few time on internet forums. However, these terms dropped off the more I transitioned, improved my makeup, etc... I took the negative comments and did something with them.

But the truth is, that is how people are gonna see you especially if they know. Now for some of you are gonna have HRT do magic. I know it did with me, but I was never masculine looking before. I was a fairly feminine boy. But for others, you're gonna have to deal with these terms. It doesn't make the people ignorant. But although most people can suspend believe or not know. People aren't stupid.

Common people notice broad shoulders, masculine features, big hands, etc. Although we may surround ourselves with cheerleaders here. Reality is not like that... When I look at the photos of people here...I turn off the female side of my brain and turn on the objective male side. Most of the time I say nothing.

It is not for me to pass judgment on someone else's transition if they ask or post photos for critique. If you say you pass with flying colors, you better post a photo. Without photos, you've got nothing and are blowing smoke on this forum.

As for the hatred of drag queens in thread, I will say that a lot of drag queens make gorgeous women when they don't do crazy ass clown makeup. Most of my friends in "light" drag make beautiful women, as many gay men are born lookin femme. Watch "RuPaul drag race" and imagine them with natural hair, HRT, hormones, etc... They look wonderful and passable. But...it takes work. A lot of work even if you were born feminine...naturally butch girls will have an even harder time.

However, for most of the people in the transcommunity who work in IT, play rpg games, etc.. They are not used to the harshness of this. Truth is, no matter how you choose to identify. You need to put you're all into your look. No makeup will get you clocked immediately and people will call you ugly. Transition is not an RPG or a video game. It's real life with real consequences. People will judge you for your looks even if you were cis. It's cold hard reality.

But truth is, these terms are gonna be applied to you if you have the whole shebang(ffs, BA, srs). It's just how society is, so if you're gonna have a face...you better make it good.

This x10000000000

You said everything for once I agree with.





and I saw what you did there, lmfao.

Quote from: Ava1 on November 02, 2011, 06:33:11 PM

This x10000000000

You said everything for once I agree with.





and I saw what you did there, lmfao.

You are serious right? Well it's my version of the truth from my experiences.

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 02, 2011, 06:34:30 PM
You are serious right? Well it's my version of the truth from my experiences.

Of course I'm serious...

There is a reason for stereotypes, and it's called breaking the mold. If you wear a extensive amount of make up and look like a clown..what do you think people are going to say? My suggestion is to look through mainstream media and try to portray that GG ASAP. You can learn from magazines, youtube, forums; etc. (IMO)

Quote from: Ava1 on November 02, 2011, 06:43:08 PM
Of course I'm serious...

There is a reason for stereotypes, and it's called breaking the mold. If you wear a extensive amount of make up and look like a clown..what do you think people are going to say? My suggestion is to look through mainstream media and try to portray that GG ASAP. You can learn from magazines, youtube, forums; etc. (IMO)

I do. My makeup is basically what all the girls around here wear. No one in years has questioned me being anything but female.

But really, a lot of people here can learn from celebrities, etc on how to do makeup and find what suits their face/figure.

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 02, 2011, 06:57:11 PM
I do. My makeup is basically what all the girls around here wear. No one in years has questioned me being anything but female.

But really, a lot of people here can learn from celebrities, etc on how to do makeup and find what suits their face/figure.

Pretty much. 

  I'm not a crossdresser! I'm just a female born in the wrong body.     

A belief that reality itself is superficial only implies a superficial understanding of reality and like all beliefs, is just a thing that some people cling to as truth out of fear that truth eludes them... which, in turn, it most certainly does.

*bling-blong*