When I was on the vodka only diet, a bit over a year ago, I was 108 lbs [48kg, 7.7st] .
On the almost six months off mind and mood altering substances diet, I am now 162 lbs [73kg, 11.5 st].
I'm only 5'5 [1.6M].
I understand, getting sober makes you gain weight. Testosterone made me gain weight. Birth control made me gain weight. Food makes me gain weight. Not being anorexic anymore makes me gain weight. Gaining muscle makes me gain weight. Being sick made me gain weight.
I would rather be fat than drunk, but.. This is really taking a toll on my self esteem. I'm more dysphoric about gaining weight than being born female.
I think I pass more with weight, but still..
Staring at numbers that have almost doubled in a year is breaking my heart.
I'm on a good diet; I try to exercise regularly when mood and health are good.
My TSH is .8, but my mom has .. She never remembers which one; she /thinks/ she makes too much TSH, but I should be alright, ya think?
Anyone have any tips? Wanna share your experiences, strength, and hope?

I've been chubby since I was fairly young. I wasn't made fun of or given a hard time growing up but about a year (or two) ago it started to bother me. I felt less and less accepted for being a fat trans man, so I found help in the fat positive and body acceptance communities. For me, knowing people who had previously felt the same as me was very helpful.

Anyways...I don't know what sort of resources you have or what your body is able to do so I might not be helping with that so much. If you want to and are able to do the exercises in the body building thread then give that a go.
One thing that has lead me to lose 18lbs recently is a diet intended for my health: low sodium, no dairy. Cooking fresh if you're able to is also a good idea. Make everything from scratch so you know exactly what goes in it.

You are actually a good weight for your height as a guy. My advice would be to aim for that weight but to work out hard so that you are that weight but its all muscle. Then you will look great!
Gaining weight is something that is hard wired into the female brain as undesirable...you just have to lose that pattern and focus on working out

You're just about 15 lbs overweight for a guy your height. Start doing some cardio. Just 45 mins a day will do wonders. Lift some weights, and trust me you won't feel that way anymore. You'll be lean. You say you eat well, so don't worry too much about what you're eating. Keep strong, healthy, and know that you're a strong person. Keep your chin up

Nygeel, I give myself more of a hard time, and I'm really concerned about strangers judging me! Yeah, I know that I shouldn't care what other people think, but I still do. I can not accept that I am fat. It's something I /never/ wanted to be. I never wanted to look like this. I'm just three pounds over my highest weight ever, and I still wanna smash my head into the wall, ya know? Yeah, I could definately give that a shot, that was one of the first threads I read when I got here. I don't really eat diary, except for cheese, which I don't know if I'll ever be able to give up. I try not to cook, as I can't really afford that, and if I can eat one thing for $8 at Dennys, I've convinced myself that it saves me money, when it reality, I know it doesn't. Yeah, I should really start to do that when I move. Thanks, bro.

Lee, you think so? I just hate the way I look. Yeah, working out more seems to be a good idea. I was at the gym the other day, with my lady, but kinda frustrated, as I didn't know how to use most of the stuff. LMFAO. I hope that someone, somewhere already thinks I look great, haha. Yeah, I'm trying to lose that idea, but it's not working out so well. Thanks.

Stil, thanks. Yeah, I know. I just wanna be thin again. I don't wanna look like this anymore. I used to look sick, however. Like, people were worried about me. Yeah, definately need to start working out more. I want to be thin, not muscular, however, so I don't know. I understand; things are gonna get better. I shall; don't worry.

@Willow: I feel just like you. I hate to exercise and my diet is not great either. I'm trying to eat healthier, but it's hard. I mix healthy foods and bad foods together... I'm weak, lol. But like people said, cardio and weight training are supposed to be good. That's something I've gotta do. Once I get a treadmill again, I will  be doing that everyday. I don't like being overweight, it bothers me A LOT! I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror.

But I have to say, you don't look bad at all. But if you don't feel good about your weight any activity or sport you like to do that has cardio is good, especially if you don't like to exercise like I do. It's makes working out fun if it's something you enjoy doing. Start out by doing like 10 minutes of cardio a day and then increase minutes or something just to get yourself in the habit of doing it everyday or however many days you want to do it.  I know it's easier said than done believe me. I've told myself  millions of times, today I'm going on a diet and I'm walking everyday... this diet and walking only last me one day. I'm just too weak. The best advice I can give you is just ease into it. Make small changes to your diet and give yourself one cheat day where you can eat anything... that's what I do, except I give myself 2 cheats b/c I'm weak, lol.  But anyways, good luck on loosing the weight you want.

Quote from: Willow on October 30, 2011, 03:31:28 AM
I understand, getting sober makes you gain weight.

Usually drinking makes you gain weight and stopping makes you lose weight.  (Example: beer guts.)

Lee, you think so? I just hate the way I look. Yeah, working out more seems to be a good idea. I was at the gym the other day, with my lady, but kinda frustrated, as I didn't know how to use most of the stuff. LMFAO. I hope that someone, somewhere already thinks I look great, haha. Yeah, I'm trying to lose that idea, but it's not working out so well. Thanks.


I work in the bodybuilding world mostly and all i am saying is that I know bodybuilders your height who weigh 200lbs with low bodyfat. Not saying you should go to that level but at 5 foot 5 you could look lean and muscular at 160 if you did it right

Dominick, do you have a MyFitnessPal account? I'm head over heels for it, when I use it. -grins- Yeah, like I love all kinds of totally unhealthy stuff - french fries, gravy, cheese, fry sauce. CANDY!!!  Yeah, as mentioned I do go to the gym at my lady's place, but it's not always that exciting to me. Some person is giving away their Nordic Track on Craigslist, so I'ma snatch that right up, when we move into the new hour. Yeah, I like inline skating a lot, but it's starting to get really cold. Not to mention, I feel like I have headaches all the time, that can only be cured with sleep.  We only have a small mirror, but I hate looking at myself in it. Thank you. It is easier said than done, and it is hard to fall off the wagon. LOL; if two cheats work for you, then get it, man! Thanks, pal.

Epi, I know that alcohlics have different ideas about food when getting sober. I know that I did. I was constantly fasting when I first got sober again. When I first got sober again, I was about 125. Now that I actually quit drinking, and am trying to live sober, not alcoholicly, my life and my diet and my relationship with food is RADICALLY different. Problem drinkers, not alcoholics may have an easier time losing weight after 'quitting'. Link to back up what I already know firsthand.

Lee, I always said I would kill myself if I got to be 200 lbs. Thank god, I'm not there yet. Yes, I am that superficial, yes, I am that shallow, and yes, I would make that kinda decision about my weight. I know that I could, just have to do it, buddy!

Could just do squats...that works almost every muscle group. Work on form before you add on the weights and do 'em slowly.

I'm on spark people. It's helpful for keeping track of what you're eating, and what you're doing. It gives you plans of things to for exercise, too. It didn't work for me and my situation because I don't eat enough and felt like I needed to eat all day in order to get anywhere close to the number of calories they wanted me to eat.

Hi Willow - I was an alcoholic but ended up going cold turkey and at the same time had help from a nutritionist who got me on a better path eating. So I managed to avoid weight gain. I actually lost some weight after getting sober. Nutrition and exercise are very important though. If you're that worried about your self image then you should already have the motivation to eat healthier and work out. And also, listen to Lee cause that dude's a pro when it comes to bodybuilding!

Quote from: Willow on October 30, 2011, 09:27:52 PM
Dominick, do you have a MyFitnessPal account? I'm head over heels for it, when I use it. -grins- Yeah, like I love all kinds of totally unhealthy stuff - french fries, gravy, cheese, fry sauce. CANDY!!!  Yeah, as mentioned I do go to the gym at my lady's place, but it's not always that exciting to me. Some person is giving away their Nordic Track on Craigslist, so I'ma snatch that right up, when we move into the new hour. Yeah, I like inline skating a lot, but it's starting to get really cold. Not to mention, I feel like I have headaches all the time, that can only be cured with sleep.  We only have a small mirror, but I hate looking at myself in it. Thank you. It is easier said than done, and it is hard to fall off the wagon. LOL; if two cheats work for you, then get it, man! Thanks, pal.

No, I don't. I should check that out.

That's awesome. Hope you are able to get that Nordic track.

I just started p90, actually on day 36, and it's awesome. I've lost fat and gained a ton of muscle (not bulk, just toned). Next I'm doing the master series, then p90x. You don't need expensive equipment, just buy a good resistance band.

Pair that with myfittnesspal and you'll do fine.

108 seems really thin to me. That's about what I was in the 4th grade. I don't see how that could be healthy for an adult. I don't think 160 is that heavy. You're definitely giving yourself a hard time. Half of America could loose some weight. They are probably to busy judging you for having piercings and stretched lobes.  You're always going to be judged for something. Is the extra few pound causing illness? If not, what's so bad about being heavy anyway? 

Skipping meals or depriving yourself isn't a good way too loose fat. Your body needs energy to burn any extra pounds away. Don't bother with the stuff you can't work at the gym. You cant be trying to loose fat and gain muscle at the same time.  Do you have a smart phone? There are apps just for keeping track of your diet and exercise plans. I've found them very useful for both loosing fat and making sure I'm eating enough when I'm trying to put on muscle. You really don't need anything fancy to get exercise. You could walk out side or even go up and down your stair case a few times. I keep free weights by the couch for commercials. lol. Even something simple like jumping rope. You really don't even need the rope.  I think I get more migraines when I'm not working out regularly. I love food too. I live with my Italian grandma so there's always pasta and a bunch of food to eat. I figure if I'm going to be enjoying a high calorie diet I should put those calories to work.

You would want to die at 200 lbs! Really? I think you need to start ignoring the numbers the scale says and measure your body fat or something instead of focusing on weight.

I got weighed a couple weeks ago at the doctors. I'm about your height and 190 lbs. Sure I could loose some fat, but look it's really not worth killing yourself over.