So, I won't be getting Testosterone any time soon for atleast two or more years due to the age restrictions in my country (UK)
And I wanted to see if I could get Hormone blockers, i'm still in my years of puberty and growing up and all, so you know, if I took them now it would stop any further feminization, Only thing is that my country and the doctors in it, to me atleast, seem to not understand anything.
I brought up the idea with my therapist (although not a gender therapist but she has had a bit of experience with transgendered people) although she says that the reason I wouldn't beable to get them is due to the required age for blockers being fifthteen...
Because apparently not giving hormone blockers untill that age will allow us to think more about if it's the right thing to do, even though the hormone blockers are harmless and were basically made to put everything on hold so we had more time to think about it, not to mention everything pretty much goes back to normal and jsut resumes where it left of if the child decides to not go through with it..
So why are they still "testing" it on children here in the UK? where in the US i've seen plenty of documentries and that of children that went on it from the age of twelve and got on T at fourteen, I doubt that the hormone blockers are a different type, I just don't get it.
They also bring up the fact that it can cause bone loss or something I think it's bone density, but I would only be taking it for like two years 'till i'm old enough for T, and I don't think that the whole bone density decrease or something would happen so much in that ammount of time that it'd effect my life so much that I can't do anything physical.
I'm mad that I have to wait years before even considering going on Testosterone, but they could atleast put me on blockers so my hips wont get any wider and my "moobs" won't get any bigger and also so the "monthlies" stop happening, then atleast I wouldn't have to deal with that trash, it seriously depresses me, everytime I look in the mirror I get a reminder of what my body is.
This doesn't help being a "child" or "teen" because apparently whatever I do is "just a phase"....
and that Apparently "i'm too young to make decisions like taking hormone blockers that wont negatively effect my body in any way or do any harm and it would probably only cause harm if i take it for more than 4 years or something which won't happen to me because in just two years i'd be old enough for Testosterone and then I can finally be happy about my self and not have to worry about hips so much or my voice or my face or anything and i'd finally be happy and from the off chance that I decide to stay and live as a girl (THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN EVER EVER EVER) I can just come of hormone blockers and everything will go back to normal no harm done." ಠ_ಠ
and like I said above about the one who went on blockers from the age of twelve - fourteen and then went on testosterone and everything was happy and nothing went wrong, why is it that all of a sudden, you come into the UK and BAM!!
"EVERYTHING.IS.MAGICALLY.DANGEROUS.AND.WILL.CAUSE.MAJOR.PROBLEMS.EVEN.THOUGH.IT.DOESN'T.WITH.OTHER.PEOPLE.AND.IT'S.ALSO.BEEN.PROVED.THAT.IT.WONT.HARM.YOU.IN.ANY.WAY.BUT.IT'S.STILL.DANGEROUS.BECAUSE.YOU'RE.IN.THE.UK"
and they refuse to give you these things.
So yeah. I'm pretty annoyed by this, i've been crying so much lately because of my body, the hips, the face, the chest, the constant binding THAT REALLY HURTS AND MAKES IT HARD TO BREATHE, the "monthlies", the "every single thing about my body" ect ect;
Would there be any way to convince doctors that giving me hormone blockers would be a good idea? I seriously want them, I don't mind waiting for T but they could atleast do something in the meantime...
Why must I be made to wait. and be forced to go through this hell. I'd actuarlly rather die, right now. But im too much of a coward to carry out a suicide or to even enflict any harm on myself, me and pain do not get along.
I'd speak out and try to tell them but im seriously lacking in confidence, It's like I can't tell them how I actuarlly feel and how much I really need this teatment
(blockers or T, prefurably T but blockers will do ('¬_¬) )
A few other therapists, or well I don't atuarlly know what they are, I just get made to go to the meetings and all it is is trying to get me to go back to school, which is NOT going to happen anytime soon I try to tell them this, but I lack the confidence and the Ability to speak out and stand up for myself, my mom sometimes has to step in because I won't beable to say anything, she tries to explain and trys to tell them also how I need the blockers or whatever and how I will not be going back to school anytime soon but nobody listens to her, they just ignore her and change the subject to something that isn't even important at the moment...
I don't know how to help myself, when they tell me that to help myself I need to stand up and speak out I just can't, no matter how hard I try, I attempt to but the words just stop coming out my mouth and my whole body freezes, Then they just think I didn't actuarlly have something to say and everything's fine so they carry on going on about stupid school and other un-important stuff.
Someone cheer me up? or give me advice on how to perswade doctors to give me or to consider blockers, everytime I bring it up, yet again they change the subject... or tell me how to gain more confidence..then again I don't think words actuarlly help, they're just words to me, they can seem incouraging or they can cheer someone up but they can't magically give you confidence or something...
I don't know what to do i'm just upset and depressed all the time. (Wow i've writen alot...)