I was just wondering what everyone tends to do when it comes to dating. There's this girl I like and the biggest reason I haven't asked her out is because I have no idea how, when, or if I should tell her I'm trans. I'm stealth at work. I can't risk being outed but at the same time, it's something I would want someone to know before we start dating. And that's a real conundrum.

I'm not looking for advice though, so much as I'm just sparking a conversation. If I do ask this girl out it'll probably be if/when we become more friends than co-workers and when I know for sure I can trust her with that kind of information.

I've been feeling a little blue about it too. There's a lot most guys (and girls) take for granted. In general, most people just have to worry about being rejected - getting a yes or no. But us, we get to worry about a lot more, especially after we get the Yes. She could actually like me back, she could want to date me too, but that could easily and drastically change once I tell her.

I told my girlfriend a few days into us initially talking that I was trans and she told me she thought it was beautiful and that I was a strong person for being able to be proud of who I was. That sort of confidence can be attractive to people with a good, accepting and open mind.

We've been dating for several months now and she's supportive of everything I do - she comes to all my appointments, I came out to her family and I was lucky enough to be accepted by not only my girlfriend but her family (and extended family too.) I think it all depends on the person - it's better to tell someone before hand I think, because it can give them a chance to ask questions (if appropriate), think about things, etc. I always found it was better to go into a relationship with my gender identity as something that the other person was aware of.

My previous girlfriend.. not so great. I came out to her about a month into our relationship and as much as she said she understood/accepted me, she would never acknowledge the fact that I identified as transgender in terms of being respectful and using my preferred male pronouns. With my current girlfriend, as soon as I told her, it's really just become something that doesn't have to be mentioned, if that makes sense? She used my preferred pronouns and doesn't see me as "trans" persay - she just sees me as male. It's good to be with someone and have that peace of mind.

I hope I helped more so than rambled here haha.

I don't tell guys. I normally clue them in a bit. Only one guy figured it out so far and boy he was pissed. Thats what I get for asking him if he was into kinky stuff like ->-bleeped-<-s. Then he looked up the club I was applying to work at and confronted me.

He never talked to me again... Despite the fact he was Peggy wanking off to my photos non stop up to that point.

I would prefer a guy know upfront and not get rejected by an ultra straight guy.