This is a question that has been on my mind for a while.  I have had one experience with a support group, and am considering the future of it.  I'd like to know who here sees value in it.  Or if you do not, please tell why.

Kristi

When I first came out as transgendered I occasionally attended a support group although not very often, the nearest group was two hours drive each way. I no longer attend any groups. I live in a rural area, there really isn't much of anything around here, however I try to be involved in LGBTIQ activism in my state and have occasionally organized local social events, potlucks and movies. I've also occasionally given presentations to groups such as PFLAG, etc.

zythyra

I am very involved in my local support group and I am very glad it is there.

Alice

I actually am involved with two support groups right now.  I've attended Spectrum Transgender of Western New York for a year (just paid my second year's fee) and a new one being formed by some of its members, Transgendered Couples of Western New York.

At Spectrum I can get advice, tips on where to go for services and recommendations for things that transwomen care about but the most important thing for me is that I get to interact with people who don't judge, who understand and, because they've been there before, are role models and examples of how I too can be successful.  I've made some real friends there and I love going.

The couples group is forming to help address the needs of our SO's and family members through, well, here's the mission statement:

QuoteIt will be the mission of the Transgendered Couples of Western New York to provide support, educational resources and safe social interaction for committed couples and their families, where one or both spouses identify within the transgendered community.  This will be accomplished through outreach, discussion, dissemination of our knowledge and experiences as transgendered couples, as well as socialization through communication and shared activities.  Our goal will be the preservation and enrichment of our unique and committed relationships along with the promotion of knowledge and acceptance of these relationships within our culture as a whole.

Support is important to me and my wife, who attends meetings with me (at least, so far) and I don't think I'd be as far as I am today if I didn't attend.

hugs & smiles
helen

I used to attend a support group regularly. I even took a position as treasurer for a year. We were supposed to be open to all forms of gender expression but our president had a tendancy to automatically start everyone on the fast track to GRS.  After a while, it seemed we were becoming less a support group and more a political organization. I resigned from my post and stopped going to the meetings. The last I heard, only about a quarter of the original members still attended and most new members didn't go more than once or twice.
I guess my point is whether or not it is good to go to a support group depends on if the support group is any good.

Karen Lyn      

Quote from: KarenLyn on March 18, 2007, 10:00:22 PM

I guess my point is whether or not it is good to go to a support group depends on if the support group is any good.

Karen Lyn      

I agree.  I'm lucky that most of my group's members are very tolerant and kind.  I'm afraid some groups are overtaken by the damage that we as transsexuals have to endure becoming less welcoming and supportive for all transgendered (in the broadest sens of the term) people.

hugs & smiles
helen

I think that a support group can be very valuable as you are finding your way. After a while, after you figure out what your life is all about, they can become a drag on your life. Or.... you become a mentor.

Overall, I see great benefit in seeking them out.

Cindi

I help run two support groups.

www.spirit-level.org.uk tries to be inclusive but it does create problems as the needs and interestes of the TS and TV/CD community are very different. However, I feel it helps everyone to understand better the other end of the spectrum.

In-Trust (no web site yet) is a ts specific local suport group with the primary aim of helping ts's find work locally and through participation in local voluntary groups create beeter understanding and support for transpeople.

At a superficial level I dont get much out of the groups but at a deeper level I always learn something  new, which helps me to better manage my own GID.

Ruth

How earley do youadvise a person to go to a support group, because as most here know im waiting for profeshnal help. Im a self diagnosed TS and my GID is out of control.

I started attending a support group as soon as I possibly could when I started coming to terms with everything.  I would say about half of the people in my support group at MTF and most of the rest are crossdressers.  They have meetings twice a month, but after a couple of months I only started attending Saturday meetings.  I have made many friends through my support group and it's always good to have friends in person.  I like to meet with them regularly outside of the group, so it has been good socially.  It also allows me to stay current on what is happening in the local GLBT community.  For instance I found my doctor, divorce lawyer, and current therapist through recommendation from people through my group.

Melissa

Chears mel

The support group here in CO has a mix of transvestites and transsexuals. I don't feel I can get support from people that don't share my issues. I know that time in public while crossdressing is important for transvestites, but I don't know how they can relate or what I could get in return. It's ditto for the transsexuals there - I'm beyond a place where I'm dealing with those issues, and I just find it draining.

And most are married TO WOMEN - which is the majority of what they discuss. I can't relate to that at all.

Besides - I don't know what you're supposed to get from this. Are you a woman or a transsexual? Are you coming out of one closet to spend time in another?

No way.

Bri

Quote from: Brianna on March 19, 2007, 11:15:10 AM
Besides - I don't know what you're supposed to get from this. Are you a woman or a transsexual? Are you coming out of one closet to spend time in another?

Did you think there might actually be other women like you (who want to be seen as women and not TS) that you might actually get to meet in person if you went?  Several of my closer friends are post-op and relate to me much better than many of the other people in the group.

Melissa

I attend a support group regularly.  I did get a lot out of it at first, but lately I am wondering just what I am getting out of it.  It is almost like a lecture group.  We come in and discuss a topic, and then sometimes go get a bite to eat afterwards (and those trips became very embarrassing quickly with a group of passable, semi-passable and delusional transgendered people, some of whom have no problems loudly talking about crossdressing and transsexualism in a public place.)  I am not sure how much longer I will be attending.

When I was in transition, the only group I attended was the Esprit Conference in Port Angeles, WA.  It changed my life but was only an annual affair.  After the first year, I began workiing with the planning committee and began giving back.  After a few years on the wrong coast, my husband and I will attend Esprit this May, just for fun.  We also attend the annual FTM Gender Odyssey in Seattle, which is a more serious affair.

The only support group I worked with was Ingersoll Gener Center.  I facilitated once a month in Seattle until called back east to work.  Now I find gasoline and ferry prices prohibitive for trips to Seattle. 

I understand the dichotomy between CDs and TS.  In a Venn diagram, there is only a relatively small overlap of the circles.  Although I can't really say I understand what motivates a true CD (as opposed to a TS in denial), I do support their rights with every fiber of my body, and they can be fun to party with outside of smoky gay bar venues.

Robyn

www.espritconf.com

As I mentioned, I have a group of friends I met from our support group.  We got together about a week and a half ago and had a blast just talking about whatever.  We are all TS and have actually discussed the possibility of just forming our own smaller TS group.  I'm not sure what the criteria would be, but so far everyone is at least fulltime and 2 had orchies and the other 2 were post-op, and I'm gearing up to have my SRS in a little less than a year.  It really gives us all something to relate to.  My original plan was to stay in my current support group until SRS, but I will see where things go from here.  I was actually prepared to quit the support group at the end of last year, but I decided to change my mind at the last second and paid for another year (it's cheap). 

I was actually in another support group last year for women (LBT) and I am meeting with the person today to talk about being involved in the next set of meetings (it's done in sessions).  It was actually nice in that I was the only T there at the end and I had them to talk to around the time I went fulltime.  Also it gave me the opportunity to make a few non-TS friends.  Well, I have plenty more non-TS issues (or at least indirectly related) to talk about with them.

Robyn, I actually got a full paid esprit scholarship (including room and food) this year, so maybe I'll see you up there.

Melissa

I started attending the support group my therapist runs immediately - within two weeks or so from starting therapy.

The group is strictly TSs.

It was *extremely* beneficial at first, as I had never knowingly met another TS (aside from my therapist). Seeing the reality of it all, seeing that they were all just mundane, ordinary women (all except the youngest are a few years post-trans) made a HUGE impact on me.

It gave me hope.

Since then (I started a year+ ago), I've grown less enthusiastic about it. I like the PEOPLE, and like seeing what's up with everyone, but otherwise it doesn't seem so useful for me right now. So I've skipped the last few months. They DO talk about some neat issues, but we hash so much out on here at Susan's, I just don't feel a need to do it there too.

Kate

Quote from: RuthChambers on March 19, 2007, 09:53:07 AM
I help run two support groups.

www.spirit-level.org.uk tries to be inclusive but it does create problems as the needs and interestes of the TS and TV/CD community are very different. However, I feel it helps everyone to understand better the other end of the spectrum.

This is also the same support group I attend, to be honest I feel I initially went along more for the prospect of meeting people rather than any actual support.  Although as Ruth has mentioned elsewhere in her post I do feel I often get something from just attending and listening to others talk about issues and experiences they have had.

Becky
xx

I do.

I feel totally comfortable in being me and being accepted as I am.

And after years spent in social isolation, I need to be with others.

We help each other.

Quote from: AnomieAssassin on March 19, 2007, 08:08:41 PM
but the youngest person in the group is like 30 and I can't relate with that at all.

In my geriatric group of over 30s, we talk about things like growing up as a TS, dealing with unaccepting friends and family, non-GID insecurities which may derail a transition or post-trans life, whether or not to tell a new BF (most are stealth), workplace issues if an employer were to find out, dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts... I mean... young people don't deal with this stuff anymore?

Kate