Female Crossdresser frustration.

Sorry but feel like I need to let this out.

I want to appear as a male person. I want to get treated and thought of as a male person. But I don't want to actually become truly male, and identify myself as bio gender, female. (even though I want to be called by male pronouns and like thinking of myself as a guy sometimes.)

Along this line of thinking I believe that I am probably/logically/technically a female crossdresser.

So it feels it should be natural to enter the 'Crossdresser' forum, until I see the threads of dresses, makeup, and how to's on appearing more feminine, that make me want to backpedal (I don't mean any offense to this board's community).

I honestly feel more comfortable in the 'FTM Transgender' forum. Among people who want deeper voices, flat chests, and being read as male. Except I am happy being female and I can't shake the nagging feeling that there I feel like a girl pretending to be a boy, among women who are actually men.

I guess what I'm trying to say it that it feels like there isn't really a place here for female crossdressers and I can't help but wonder why?

Again sorry for the rant.

Are you genetically a female? I am assuming you are but I may be wrong.

If you are a female and you don't want to be identified as male but want to wear men's clothing (that's what Im thinking you are saying...its a bit confusing trying to follow you...sorry).

But if this is the case, there are a lot of women who identify as women but dress as men. They are called "Stone Butch."

Just something to look into.

There just aren't very many people who identify as female crossdressers, which is why you won't find any in this forum. You might try the Androgyn section here, they get a variety of different folks, and you might be close to the concept of genderqueer since you actually wish to be perceived and referred to as male.

Also, the trans guys here are really nice and I'm sure they wouldn't mind you hanging out in their forums as long as you are respectful. And they certainly know how to look like guys.

If you are gay you'd have some in common with butch women - though they don't generally want to be perceived as male. But there are also quite a few genderqueer women in lesbian communities who do like being seen that way if you want to go looking in that direction - Autostraddle would be a good start, they are really open to all kinds of women. But if you are straight... it's harder.

I wear some men's clothes, but I'm a bit of an oddity as far as the girls in the trans community go. And I'm only andro (fairly gender-neutral style) - so I'm really not what you are looking for.

Quote from: Annah on November 13, 2011, 10:31:58 PM
But if this is the case, there are a lot of women who identify as women but dress as men. They are called "Stone Butch.".

Um... no. Stone butch actually refers to how you have sex. Specifically, a butch top who doesn't like being touched genitally by her partner. A woman who dresses in men's clothes is just butch. Stone butch can also be considered pejorative, so careful with that.

Yes I am genetically female. By 'Default' I identify as female, however I have the desire to occasionally go outside and interact with people as a male guy. Sorry I'm not good with explaining with words. How do I put this... It's like I'm fine being a girl but I want to 'pass' as male part time. Male as a boy or man, not a masculine girl or woman.

This isn't an issue of my sexuality, just my gender identity. ...and I don't think butch women are what I'm looking for either, although I might be wrong since I'm not familiar with the lesbian communities.

Andro has a little appeal to me but I lean more to the extremes of femininity and masculinity. (More often masculine then feminine)

Sarah7 could you clarify what you mean by genderqueer (people sometimes have different interpretations of the same words).

I can't shake the feeling that maybe part of the reason that there aren't many female crossdressers here is because they have the same response I did to the forum (the back pedal part).

It's kind of a term for people who aren't quite comfortable with their assigned gender (either in how they want to be perceived, or how they self-identify, or whatever), but don't identify as the other traditional gender. It means a variety of different things, including women who like to be seen as men, as well as people who see themselves as neither men nor women, and a bunch of other stuff too. It's an optional label like any, but I just thought there are SOME genderqueer women who describe themselves a bit like you, so you might find you have something in common. I suppose it partly depends on WHY you want to pass as a guy part of the time. Is it just for fun, or is it an expression of your identity, or... So it makes me think of the androgyn boards here. Maybe it's not appropriate for you I dunno, but you can try. What I do know is that the assumption is a crossdresser is going to be a bloke in a dress, so no female crossdressers here. I certainly don't come into this section generally, even though I do crossdress to a degree.

Perhaps the term 'Bigender' will be useful?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bigender

-Emerald

Looks like your a two spirited person.
That is not a split personality ! So  just enjoy it

Quote from: Sarah7 on November 13, 2011, 11:11:04 PM
Um... no. Stone butch actually refers to how you have sex. Specifically, a butch top who doesn't like being touched genitally by her partner. A woman who dresses in men's clothes is just butch. Stone butch can also be considered pejorative, so careful with that.

It just doesn't have to mean that. It can apply to that but a stone butch lesbian does not have to mean what you described....unless the stone butch women I talked to on campus got their own self identification wrong when they described themselves to me.

From a Stone Butch website of one of the definitions of a stone butch:

I am a Stone Butch. Stone in this case meaning "very". I was born female but Butch is my gender; the two gender system described by the word "woman" does not fit me at all. "Man" fits much better but it is not a perfect fit either. I am not a male but you can call me "sir" and use masculine pronouns of "he" and "him". Don't call me woman, wimin, womyn, gal, lady, girl or ma'am. Ever.

I dress in men's clothes down to my boxer shorts. My hair is what you call masculine, a regular guy's barber shop cut...I am 6'2" and have a naturally deep voice that does not give away my biological sex. I walk, talk, eat, love and live as the Stone Butch that I am. Femmes rock my world. Andro dykes are my sisters. Other butches and Stone Butches are my brothers. Butch is not a word that "describes" me. It *is* me. I am Butch the noun, not butch the adjective. My identity as *a* Butch is sacred to me. I walk the walk and I talk the talk. I live with it everyday. It is *NOT* a role that I choose to play. I have no more choice in this than I had a choice in my biological gender. I live it 24 hours a day, every day of the year. I can't ever put it away, nor do I want to. I am *proud* to be a Stone Butch.

Butch the adjective is descriptive of a female who is masculine, yet woman identified. They generally pass as women who "look butch", though some may look like a Stone Butch. They still identify as a woman unlike Stone Butches. Most Butches fall into this category, and may also call themselves "soft butch". Then there are andro dykes who are sometimes called "butchy". Often they are mistaken as butches or call themselves butch even though they are very woman identified and wear women's clothes. Some also just "butch up" for the weekend. Stone Butches sometimes call them "Saturday Night Butches"

Butch is not identified by what you do. Heck, I am Butch when I cook or sew on a button. It is an energy, an amalgamation of action, thought processes, look, desire, tastes and interests.

Big Dog

It's not just the sexual act that labels one a stone butch. It can mean many things. If you go to a lesbian bar around here and say "Stone Butch is defined by how you have sex and not who you are" you're gonna offend half the people in that bar.

Yo.

I'm female, and I like crossdressing too.  I have no interest in being male sexually or in embodying a male; I tried for 17 years and it didn't take.  But I do like going out on occasion and being perceived as male, something that's entirely separate from my having been assigned male at birth.

Even though I'm "technically" an AMAB female transsexual, I feel like a lot of the posts regarding female-bodied androgyne-identified people have more relevance to where I want to be.

Trey, if you like, feel free to PM me.  The community for female crossdressing is sparse and not very active here (since a lot of folks that do things like that spend more time within the butch community), but it's good to find someone else who feels the same way as me.

Trey - I think I understand your frustration.  Women wearing men's clothing is not at all uncommon and many of those women would be extremely upset at mistakenly being perceived as men, while you, like male crossdressers (only reversed), would like to be perceived as a man when you dress up, while you still identify as a woman.  On the plus side, you don't have to worry much about what you're doing being perceived as weird or wrong, the social aspect of which is why you find male crossdressers on support forums like this.

However, just because there aren't many female crossdressers here, don't feel unwelcome!  I think I speak for the vast majority of people on here when I say we welcome all gender nonconforming people with open arms.  Why, it's quite by-the-book being transgender.

I would say you are a female cross dresser.  You should feel welcome on this forum.  It may be dominated by males but I'm sure if you post you will get plenty of replies.  To be honest I have never been absolutely sure where I fit so I visit and post in all the forums.

It seems like there really aren't that many female crossdressers here, and I can see why it would be frustrating.  You are more than welcome in the FtM section, as we have a lot of posts about binders/haircuts/clothing/etc that might be helpful to you.  It seems like a lot of trans guys can look passably male without hormones or surgeries, and I bet that you could find a style that looks female or male depending on how you present yourself that day.  Feel free to post pictures or videos if you want some advice or opinions.  I'm sorry that we don't have as big of a community of female crossdressers to help out, but I can't imagine anyone minding you posting there.

Although I do have some similarities with Bigender, I'm not too sure that term really fits.

Thanks for the offer Wonderdyke. It does feel nice to find others with similar feelings.

Maya, yes that's what I was trying to say. Thanks for putting that into easier words for me. I do find being a young female crossdresser to be um, less socially rejecting. I haven't' been able to pass as male fully yet but I don't feel too uncomfortable walking around in public with my attempts at looking visually male.

I like looking at the other forums, I enjoy feeling like I'm learning and expanding my understanding of people.

I'm not too comfortable posting images of myself online (because it's the internet, not because it's this forum). I agree that this community wouldn't mind me posting on different forums, it just feels a little awkward to me but that'll probably get better with time. Thanks you for the warm welcome, Lee.