I showed my husband some of the pictures on this site this evening and he thought I was playing games.  He thought women on this site were cisgendered.  When I took him into the before and after thread he was stunned. He couldn't figure out how it was possible.


Then I told him my impressions on the discussion on passing.  He was not in agreement on most of the details I pointed out about passing. 

I was bold, I pointed out upper lip hair,  strong jaw lines,  adams apples, hair lines, etc etc etc.

He said "they just look like regular women to me."

He then said an interesting thing,  he said "these women are the worst people to judge each other because they are looking too hard."  I thought this was interesting.


Here are my guidelines for the thread.   

1,   Post a picture of yourself and a description of the kind of woman you want to look like. 


2,   Be willing to wait a few days,  I'm gonna show it to cisgender men women in a respectful way.


3.  Ignore the jealous bitter comments and focus on your goal.


Let's see how it goes.

All these pictures are pre-HRT so... yeah.
I don't have nice pictures since I started hormones, I've kinda been dyking it out.
let's get some opinions~

*edit*
oh.
who do i want to look like?


Mellissa(right), b*tch is flaw-less~

This picture was taken at about 5.5 months HRT, and about 15 laser sessions on my face.

I'm not sure how to describe the type of woman I'd like to look like.

ooo perfect, these are the opportunities I've been dying for



these are my best pictures I think. so whichever you choose to show. or all of them haha. these opportunities are big to me. hence why ive been posting on 4chan a lot. I dont pass there though

here are some girls I want to look like

Quote from: kelly_aus on November 27, 2011, 01:13:38 AM
Eve, you only don't pass to those who are willing to make a song and dance about it.. Some, like me, think you look great..

:3

I appreciate that I really do. I just have so much trouble seeing it. i stand in front of the mirror almost everyday and focus so hard on seeing it but I only see my male "flaws"

I try hard to pass to people who dont know. every time i do I feel fantastic. and every time i dont I get this strong drive to do better the next time. In a way this is how I'm transitioning. kinda like jumping into the ocean to learn how to swim.

I just want to be me. I dont have anyone I want to look like. Just me. ^_^
And I kind of understand what your husband said. We do look at each other through a microscope. But I also understand why we do.

Women who have had a big affect on me include my Mum, Aunt and cousins [ my cousins were the closest thing I had to Sisters ], Major Kusanagi from Ghost In The Shell, P!nk [ She has a lot of songs that inspire me ]

Quote from: Keaira on November 27, 2011, 01:46:26 AM


I just want to be me. I dont have anyone I want to look like. Just me. ^_^
And I kind of understand what your husband said. We do look at each other through a microscope. But I also understand why we do.

maaaaaybe its just the hat, glasses, and hair color but you remind me of my friend megan


(the middle if you didnt guess :p)

Megan has good taste. ^_^
And thanks.

I have a straight male friend who is afraid of saying trans women pass XD

Ive shown him a couple of pics of trans women that i think pass and hes said "nah you can totally tell" and been picking flaws out. So i did something a little mean and mixed it upa  bit and threw a few pics of cis-women in without telling him and again he was like "nah you can totally tell".

He was pretty embarressed when i told him

Please!!! We already have a "do i pass" thread ongoing... and we are desperate enough to succumb to this due to a straight man's final judgment?

Quote from: MsDazzler on November 27, 2011, 04:57:19 AM
Please!!! We already have a "do i pass" thread ongoing... and we are desperate enough to succumb to this due to a straight man's final judgment?

its completely different...

this is more of a "can i pass to a stranger who doesnt know I'm trans".

its an environment where someone doesnt feel like they have to be nice. to a person who wont be looking at passing.

and besides she just said cisgender men and women. who knows/cares what their sexual orientation is. the point is they wont be looking at us in terms of pass-ability. its basically a passing test. whereas the "do I pass" thread is more of an advice thread on how to pass better...or at least thats the way I see it.

Joey D

You are one of the pictures I showed him last night and he could not believe you are not cisgendered.  So I can answer yours right away.   He said you were hot.


And btw the reason I thought this was so amusing is that my husband rarely thinks women I know are attractive, so having him go through the thread and saying "Wow she's pretty cute"  over and over was very interesting to me.


EveofChaos,  he didn't like your hair color, (that's just him) but totally pass.   You were also one of the pictures I showed him last night.  And I showed him the cisgender pix and he thought you looked more feminine.  By that point he knew what was going on in the thread and did the same everyone else did, clocked her and said you looked more feminine.   He said you were really cute.


Kiera also you had pix up last night.  I tried to point out the faint facial hair and again.   He was not seeing it,  just she looks like a regular girl.   So pass.



The reason I started this thread is that I believe that the other thread has kind of gotten mean.    I see some people playing into thread drama and knowing people's insecurities and so going for it.   So here you have someone who has no reason to lie.   



Also I wanted people to post someone they want to look like so we get the goals straight and don't project our own preferences on to the other person.


When I look at the pictures on this site I will ask myself  "If I walked into the store and this person was behind the counter would I immediately think this was a trans"    And yes there are a few people on this site that unfortunately I would.  But most just look like a woman.

If I look at pictures and say "wow, I don't like the hair color or ,  she should do her eyebrows, or wow she needs to lose some weight etc,  that really has nothing to do with Passing.  It has to do with pushing women to look like what I THINK a woman should look like.

And since everyone has personal preferences,  it's going to jerk a person all over the place.

Quote from: Shades O'Grey on November 27, 2011, 12:07:22 AM


This picture was taken at about 5.5 months HRT, and about 15 laser sessions on my face.

I'm not sure how to describe the type of woman I'd like to look like.

Totally pass.   Your statement that you're not sure the kind of woman you'd like to be is reflected in your pix.  You've got the sexy bottom half and the Susan Boyle eyebrows and hair going on.  Is that your preference or do you just not know where to go with it yet.

Not sure about that but you totally pass.   You do look older than I imagine you are because you aren't gussified.  So consider that.

Women I'd suggest as an inspiration for you.








They are wearing lots of make up in the pix and I don't necessarily think you need make up to pass.   So consider them without makeup. 

It doesn't seem so in this picture but I have big shoulders and giant upper back muscles. Help?

Quote from: Eve of Chaos on November 27, 2011, 01:08:57 AM
ooo perfect, these are the opportunities I've been dying for

these are my best pictures I think. so whichever you choose to show. or all of them haha. these opportunities are big to me. hence why ive been posting on 4chan a lot. I dont pass there though

here are some girls I want to look like

I love your skulls tshirt. Also, don't post photos on 4chan. Nobody needs that for their self-esteem. I have a friend that looks great irl but was called an ugly ->-bleeped-<- there.

Edit: As far as passing, I wouldn't give you a second look if I saw you on the street.

Quote from: ♥ Alyssa Case ♥ on November 27, 2011, 09:49:04 AM



It doesn't seem so in this picture but I have big shoulders and giant upper back muscles. Help?

A lot of that muscle mass should go down with estrogen. A lot of girls find that their frame shrinks just from the loss of muscle mass, so there's hope!

Quote from: ♥ Alyssa Case ♥ on November 27, 2011, 09:49:04 AM



It doesn't seem so in this picture but I have big shoulders and giant upper back muscles. Help?

the angled look down seems to draw attention to your brow.  If I saw you I'd think you were androgynous.   Not totally guy. 

One of the things I think is helpful for any young woman perfecting her style and look is to have a source of inspiration.   One of my younger sisters was sort of a "nerdy geeky" gal and for years she was resentful of me and my look.   I had emulated Annie Lennox and sort of the adrongynous tall blonde woman and I used to get alot of attention when we were out.  Whereas she was overlooked.

She'd cry about not getting attention and finally I told her she looked like Jennifer Aniston,  Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Mira Sorvino type women.  So she had a path to follow and got her hair styled that way, emulated the clothing styles and switched to funky glasses.  Then she felt really cute and hot.

IMO it was more her attitude change that got her the attention than the look but the looks helped too.

So having an inspiration and not looking at other women to feel "less than" is very important.   


I will never be a cheerleader type.  I don't have long hair and I'm an amazon.  But I take my strengths and run with it.  So that is why I think it is really important to have an inspiration.

Maybe I'll change the title of the thread.

Quote from: mixie on November 27, 2011, 10:11:30 AM
the angled look down seems to draw attention to your brow.  If I saw you I'd think you were androgynous.   Not totally guy.

If I saw only that pic and had no further information, I would think that it was a Cis-guy with no "hints" about anything else regarding Gender-identity. Although I would think that the shoulders were very slim for sitting on a guy.

However, if I saw her in real life, I would most likely immediately know that the person was a female, as the personae would then shine through the facade, so to speak.

I just started transing a few months ago, mostly in my personality and hair length. No biodentical hormone boosts or any gender specialist visits yet. This is all natural and COMPLETELY CIS. I started behaving like a girl and my body shows it, slightly.

ANY CIS GUY would look like me if they behaved that way and oh like I believe your attitude affects your hormones.

And technically I still do look like a guy if I were to go into "boy mode". I'm just beginning a LONG journey. I'm probably not even 1% to where I want to be yet.