Possibly triggering, be cautious!

Ok, so first I am not any medical pro, nutrition expert, etc. I'm just "Jane Average" who wants to share my experience with a product.

Second, I've been diagnosed with "severe depression" (and other things), and have frequent bouts of suicide ideations and urges.

Definitions:

Ideation: A "suicide ideation" is a recurring, uncontrolled image/"movie" of one's self-inflicted death. (In my case, the SI most often is a short, 3-4 second "video clip" of me putting a gun to my head, pulling the trigger, blood spatters against the wall (or whatever is behind me at the time), then it resets and repeats. I've counted as many as 30 replays in one hour...sometimes 10 in a row, a few minutes' pause, then a couple more replays, etc. An ideation is not a desire to die--it is just a really annoying internal image that cannot be controlled (cannot be stopped, redirected, etc)

Urges: An "urge" is just that--the intensity of an ideation becomes SO intense that actually doing it becomes a very real possibility. I know the difference in "feel" between the two, and definitely stay away from any and all hazardous activities (including guns) during these episodes. It does not include any "movie clips" of the death--it is simply a desire to die immediately.

Yes, I am in therapy, and yes, we have dealt with these issues. However, nothing seemed to work for me...until I tried a "5-hour energy drink" at work. I was exhausted that day (14 hour days do that to you), and was struggling with various depression issues (not SI/SU that day)...drank half the bottle, it perked me up for about 5 hours. Drank the other half, and I was good for another 5 hours. No "crash", it just wears off over the course of the last hour or so.

Later, I was again having a depressive episode (this time with SI/SU), had a 5 hr...and the ideations went away. Since then (about 2 years ago), I haven't been without a bottle or two in my work bag, because it works so well; the effect is within a few minutes of drinking.

My tolerance is still quite low (I haven't "gotten used to it", so one bottle is good for me) I don't have it each day, don't need it (I don't get depressive episodes with SI/SU each day). I have tried other energy drinks (the ones in BIG cans), not only are they nasty tasting, they don't work (for me). The 5-hour needs to have some water to chase it down, but it's tolerable. ("Berry" is my favorite).

This works for me. I'd strongly urge anyone having SI/SU to talk to a therapist/doctor first, about that issue but also if you're healthy enough to take energy drinks...and of course, "your mileage may vary"...not everyone will have the same effects that I have, but it might help someone bear their struggle...

Hope this helps someone.

I inhale caffeine and it makes me feel alright too. Potent stuff, energy drinks, not coffee. I don't do it to feel awake, I do it because it makes me feel better. If I go a morning without it I get depressed even more.

Have to do something about that. Is the chemical treating or causing the depression in this case? I'm not sure.

I first started doing 5hr after I realized I had been "treating" my depression with 3-4 Cokes (tm) each day...and gaining a gut to show for it.

As always, knowing that one has depression goes a long way to fixing it...by whatever means, meds, caffeine, 5hr....my son used to drink "Monster"'s and others, so I'd tried those already (more out of curiosity than any desire), so when I saw 5hr had 4 cals/bottle I decided to try it out...

"Depression" that happens if one doesn't drink cokes or coffees = withdrawal, not actual depression. And it sucks; I get headaches and a crappy, flu-like symptoms for the first day, after that I'm ok.

I don't really like to talk about it, but I think about suicide allot    The ideastions are there pretty much on a daily basis and the urges come from time to time

I generally try to keep a level head and keep busy, but most often these feelings come when I'm laying alone in bed and then comes the insomnia monster to mess with me


Not sure if it helps or not, but I do have about 4 cups of coffee while I go about other things when I get up

Ah, the "Scream" picture! I love that!

I've had ideations for a couple decades now, and until I got into therapy I thought, "Well, that's just how my brain works."

It's not normal (whatever "normal" is, having ideations is not it). Since I got into therapy, the frequency has gone down quite a bit...in fact, I recently went a couple months without any. (They're back now, not sure why).

*hugs* to whoever wants one...

I've been in therapy for about 6 years now, the suicidal feelings never go away completely, but I've learned to deal with various problems much better now than I did the past   

Something else I do which is very therapeutic is helping others where I am able 

Oh wow, I was just looking at a local newspaper and reading that the area I live in has the 2nd highest suicide rate in the nation    Gee, how comforting 

I've had ideation, but I've never picked up an instrument of death. I think I have taken to heart the idea that suicide makes the people who love you feel just insanely awful, and I wouldn't want to do that to them. I had an uncle who killed himself, and my mother was very broken up at the loss of her "little" brother.

Lallie