Hi

I need an opinion/advice. I don't often go out, but when I do, the group of friends I go with always go to this one particular lesbian bar. It gets a good mix of people, lesbians, gay guys, straight people too. The only problem is that the men's room does not have a stall with a door. I also do not use an stp, or have any intention of it. Now, the guys room is pretty open. I, presenting as female, have been in the men's room many times accompaning my guy friends, and I have seen other females do this as well. My question is this: is it ever okay to go into the women's room while presenting as male, in a situation like this, if I go in with a female? Like...instead of me being a female going into the men's room with a guy friend, can I go into the women's room with a female friend? I would never ever consider doing this at place other than this particular bar. I am thinking it is a big no no as females tend to not like males in their space...but I don't know if in this enviroment it would be okay as I'd be pegged as being a gay dude with his female friend going into the lav...??

Should I just forget it and just avoid this bar in the future eventhough it is the ONLY place my friends go?

That is a complicated question, isn't it? I would say yes if you are willing to be open about your trans* status to anyone who questions why you, as a male-identified person, are using the women's restroom. Unless you don't mind sitting down in the mens without a stall door. I use the women's room at gay (guy) bars simply because the line is usually non-existant. Just like I used the men's at the Abbey last month. Just have a buddy with you and you should be good whatever you decide. Hell, you could try getting a friend to block for you when you use the men's stall.

In my experiences at queer clubs, it seems the men are the ones going into the female toilets more than the women into the mens.

So I'd say yes, it's fine.

Only one way to find out, go on in...

So true that men use the women's all the time. just tell them you wanted to use a closed stall and have a friend back you. no disclosure necessary.

I can't imagine someone doing more than giving you a funny look in that situation.  I'd probably use the girl's.

I'm going to visit a gg i know in sydney australia and if he wants o take me out to a gay bar ill use the stalls...door or no door.


OK so if the GG's need to have a 'number two' they use the stall? WELL Just the same...wipe the same as if you were doing a number two. I'm sure they're not out to check if you actually did one,are they?

NUMBER TWO'S IT IS!

Kristyn