I have a co-worker who I consider a good friend. We get along very well and we eat lunch together every day. There's another co-worker of ours who we get along with as well but she's more to herself.

Let's call the co-worker I'm close with, Mary and the co-worker who is more distant, Ashley.

So, me and Mary were heading out the door when Ashley said, "I have to talk to you"..I thought when she said you, she meant the both of us but she grabbed Mary by the hand and into a room. So, I waited for them to come out. 10 seconds later they came out and I said jokingly, "you guys can't keep secrets from me". Mary then asks me, "do you have a (while pointing down to my private area) Ashley can have?". So, I automatically assumed she meant tampon or something and I said no. Ashley then said jokingly, "ya'll suck" and walked away.

I don't know if I'm reading too much into this but I feel like Ashley only asked Mary and not me because she knows I'm trans (something I've never told or discussed with them before) and figured I don't use them. And although it seemed as though Ashley didn't want me to know, Mary asks me in front of her only because I said they couldn't keep secrets from me.

I just kinda felt left out and this situation reminded me that I am trans and not a cisgendered woman like they are which is a hurtful feeling.

Quote from: JenJen2011 on December 01, 2011, 12:12:53 PM
Mary then asks me, "do you have a (while pointing down to my private area) Ashley can have?". So, I automatically assumed she meant tampon or something and I said no. Ashley then said jokingly, "ya'll suck" and walked away.

I don't know if I'm reading too much into this but I feel like Ashley only asked Mary and not me because she knows I'm trans (something I've never told or discussed with them before) and figured I don't use them. And although it seemed as though Ashley didn't want me to know, Mary asks me in front of her only because I said they couldn't keep secrets from me.

I just kinda felt left out and this situation reminded me that I am trans and not a cisgendered woman like they are which is a hurtful feeling.

Jen, I read this a couple of times and it kinda dawn on me that's it probably not about you... the "Ya'll suck" line was aimed at both of you! Because ya didn't have what she needed, a Tampon. This is coming from a "sensitive" person (me), and I can see how it can easily be interpreted that its because you are Trans...but if they don't know? Maybe keep a couple in your purse fro these situations. (advice I'll remember)

Sounds like Ashley was pissed off, is that normal behavior for her? And for Mary pointing instead saying?

Quote from: SandraJane on December 01, 2011, 12:31:40 PMSounds like Ashley was pissed off, is that normal behavior for her? And for Mary pointing instead saying?

Ashley wasn't pissed at all. She said it jokingly while giggling. I guess Mary just didn't want other people to hear as to not embarrass Ashley.

That said...how do feel about the situation now?

Quote from: Beverley on December 01, 2011, 12:33:20 PM
If that is your picture in the avatar, you look lovely.

Thank you!

QuoteWhat works for me (and my advice to you) is do not read too much into it. Ignore it and carry on as if you do not understand what they meant (assuming it was malicious). I find that if people noticed you do not get annoyed at snide remarks then they stop making them. If you react then they know that they are on to something and they may continue.

Thank you. I didn't show any emotion. I simply said no to Mary's question and we all giggled when Ashley said that we suck. It just got me thinking.

Quote from: SandraJane on December 01, 2011, 12:56:50 PM
That said...how do feel about the situation now?

I'll survive, lol.

Of course ya will...but think about keeping a couple in yer purse...surprise your co-workers...Jenny made my day...